


The Inquisitor and her Commander

by NalaLala



Series: The Inquisitor and her Commander [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Deviates From Canon, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Inquisitor & Dorian Pavus Friendship, Kinloch Hold (Dragon Age), POV Cullen Rutherford, POV Inquisitor (Dragon Age), Protective Solas (Dragon Age), Romance, Sexual Tension, Templar Cullen Rutherford, Time Travel, Vallaslin (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:41:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 46,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29262192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NalaLala/pseuds/NalaLala
Summary: Ellana Lavellan finds herself thrown into the middle of chaos and confusion at the Conclave. Hopeless and scared, she finds a moment of relief when warm amber eyes lock with her own.During Adamant Fortress, Ellana falls for one of Corypheus’ tricks and finds herself thrown back in Kinloch Hold, where she meets young Templar Cullen. The Commander always warned Ellana his dark past was something to be scared of… how will he react to Ellana as a Circle Mage and how will she return to present-day Thedas?Ellana & Cullen try to navigate their developing feelings for each other, during a loose retelling of DA:I. Lots of side quests, cute original moments between the Ellana/Cullen, and some old friends make an appearance! Eventual plans to continue after Corypheus’ downfall – a different direction than Trespasser :DThis is the story of Ellana Lavellan and Cullen Rutherford… the Inquisitor and her Commander.
Relationships: Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford
Series: The Inquisitor and her Commander [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2148894
Comments: 66
Kudos: 44





	1. Locked Eyes on the Battlefield

Chapter1: Locked Eyes on the Battlefield

"Looks like an elf!"

"Where in Maker's name did she come from?"

"The Breach?"

"Stay away from 'er!"

"Seeker! She's right over there…"

Eyes shut and still in a pool of darkness, Ellana Lavellan hears the voices screaming around her while she attempts to bring her mind back to consciousness. Slowly peeling an eye open, a mixture of white and green light immediately blinds her vision. Quickly closing her eyes, she draws an arm up to shield her face and slowly peeks out between her fingers for information on where she is. Something had thrown her onto her back, a force of some kind…she couldn't remember the details. Her head is pounding and her vision is still blurry. Through gaps between her tiny fingers, she can see the sky: grey, blue and white clouds mixing together, with streaks of…

Green light? What is that? Some kind of magic?

Head pounding, she begins to peel herself off the ground when suddenly, her left hand catches her eye – streaks of green light, peeking out from her palm and twisted in with her skin. Pulsing with power and pain, in unison with the strange light in the sky. Horrified, she begins to lift her palm up to her face for further inspection when she hears a voice speak from behind.

"Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now."

Ellana looks around to find a woman with short black hair holding a sword out in her direction. She has a thick scar on one cheek and a deep look of anger in her eyes.

"What?" Ellana manages. Her eyes are focused now and she notices the many soldiers standing behind this woman, all with their swords drawn and sharing the same look of disgust and anger.

"The conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead. Except for you." The woman spoke again, while slowing taking a few steps forward.

Ellana instinctively shuffles back – wishing to keep the distance between her and this woman – before realizing there are soldiers behind her now as well. A deep feeling of fear begins to form in her stomach. Ellana has never been around so many Shemlen before; certainly never surrounded by so many with their swords drawn and a look of fury spreading across their face.

"Wha-what do you mean everyone's dead?" She forces out. "I don't know what's going on. I don't know where I am."

As the woman opens her mouth to provide a response, a large pulse of energy is emitted through the green light hovering above them in the sky. "Another wave!" She hears men yelling. "Get ready!" The soldiers run towards the green light and stand as if they are ready for a fight. Before Ellana can gather her thoughts, a loud shriek escapes from the green light and a large figure starts to climb out of the hole, dropping down to the ground with a loud thump. Dozens of the same creatures follow, each dropping onto the ground and beginning to fight with the solders.

Ellana is frozen with fear. She is so confused. What are those creatures? Why are they coming out of the sky? She can feel the dark energy that seeps out from the creatures and the dark magic that is pouring out of the green light. "Ah!" An involuntary scream escapes her lips as pain surges through her hand. She glances down at the strange mark on her palm and back at the light in the sky.

The woman who had been yelling at Ellana is now fighting with one of the large creatures. She is strong and holding her own; Ellana is impressed. The woman drives her sword into the creature and it falls down, however only a few seconds later another creature has taken its place. The woman is fighting with this second creature when Ellana notices a third sneaking up from the woman's behind. The creature is unnoticed and is about to strike the woman down. Ellana jumps up and sends a spell of fire hurling towards the creature; it shrieks and disappears into a pile of black sludge. The woman turns around and, realizing that Ellana has just saved her life, sends a small nod of appreciation in her direction.

Ellana turns back around to survey the rest of the battleground. The soldiers are doing well and most of the creatures have been slayed. She continues moving her gaze across the field when she notices a tall man standing across the front, staring in her direction. Ellana looks at him. His sword is dripping in black blood, having just brought down one of the larger creatures. He is wearing heavy armor that is decorated with leathers and a thick, furry mane around his neck. His blonde hair is pushed back and his eyes…

Creators, his eyes. Ellana thinks. The bright light from the opening in the sky reflects on him and she can see their color. They are warm, like the color of honey and amber. She finds comfort in them – not because they are showing a sense of compassion or trust, but because they are the only eyes, which do not spew anger and hatred towards her. He is staring at her with an expression that she cannot read. She is captivated, unable to look away from him.

Suddenly a hand is wrapped around her wrist. Snapped back to her senses, she looks to her left and finds a male Elf – with a smooth head and eyes that speak of age, disappointment and wisdom – grabbing onto her hand. "The mark," he speaks to her in Elven "it may be a key to closing the Rift. Will you try?" She nods, unsure of what he asks but wanting to help in any way imaginable. He lifts her hand up and faces her palm towards the green light. A strange energy pulses through Ellana's palm and strikes out at the dark energy in the sky. Hot, searing pain flashes throughout her body and her knees begin to buckle. Just as she is about to fall, the green light in the sky explodes and the Elf drops her hand. She falls to the ground and looks up at the sky: it is gone. The green light is gone. The creatures are gone.

Shouts of celebrations erupt throughout the soldiers. Ellana stands back up to look at the Elf.

"What did you do?" she asks.

"I did nothing. The credit is yours." He replies.

"Solas," The woman with the short black hair speaks to him, "what is this?"

Ellana looks around her surroundings while the Elf – named Solas – and the woman begin discussing the strange mark on her hand. She is half listening to their conversation, half looking for gaps in between the soldiers for which she could possibly dart through and run. She overhears Solas refer to the woman as Cassandra. She hears something about the Divine Justina and an Elf falling out of the green light in the sky. It sounds as if they're talking about her. She is about to ask them but in that moment, her vision begins to darken. She feels weak and her head is pounding; her knees feel unable to support her weight. The darkness begins to spread across her vision and although she cannot see, she can suddenly tell that she is falling. She feels arms catch her from behind, just as she crashes down to the ground.

*********************************************************************************************

"Sir, the Seeker has found the Elf!" one of his men yelled, "They have her captured. She's no where to run!"

Cullen glanced around at the scene of chaos and destruction. What in Maker's name was this green light in the sky? There had been an explosion at the Conclave and by the time of his arrival, everyone was dead. Dark creatures roamed the land, feasting on the remains of his slain comrades. They had charged, engaged the foul creatures in battle and won, yet they had lost many. Dozens of his soldiers' bodies lay upon the ground surrounding him.

Cassandra had told him of rumors that a small Elf had fallen out of the green light in the sky, before running off to her reported location. Apparently she was the sole survivor of the Conclave, and had been lying unconscious in the middle of the battlefront for a period of time. Cullen wiped the dark black blood off his sword on the side of his leg and placed it back in its sheath. He headed towards the direction of Cassandra and the Elf, directly towards the area in which the green light hung over this world and left a hole in the sky. None of this made any sense to him.

By the time he arrived, men were shouting ""Another wave!" "Get Ready!" Cullen draws his sword and prepares himself for battle…

After slaying another one of the foul creatures, he glances across the field and notices a small blonde figure on the ground in the middle of the fighting, frozen in fear and confusion. That must be the Elf. He sees her eyes widen and follows her line of sight to a creature preparing to strike Cassandra from behind. He will not get there in time. Regardless, he begins to run to Cassandra and lifts his sword, yet the blonde Elf jumps up and unleashes a fire spell towards the demon. The creature dissipates and Cassandra whips around to nod towards the Elf.

A mage. Cullen's stomach clenched. Of course, she's a mage. Cullen was no longer a Templar and had been working on erasing his bias and mistrust towards mage; learning to recognize that the previous mage he had experience with…did not represent the group as a whole. He felt as though he was making progress and had come quite far, that is until he found himself placed in front of one of them. A deep sense of fear began to take over his stomach and spread into his mind. He was already being exposed to Solas and it was… it was… not great… but it was fine. Solas was fine, for now. He didn't trust Solas – not fully – but he had begun to wrap his mind around having him there. The Elf didn't seem to be a threat at the moment. This female however, was an unknown. No one knew who she was or where she came from. Finding out that she was a mage… only added to Cullen's distrust and to her mystery.

Suddenly, she turns towards him and their eyes meet across the battlefield. Maker's Breath, he thinks, she's… beautiful. Her eyes are like light blue crystals, the color of celestite. Her hair is light, almost white, and hangs to her waist. It has waves and curls with braids collecting the front pieces off her face. She has markings on her face – Cullen recalls that certain Elven clans wear markings like hers… the Dalish, maybe? He can't be sure. She is in a green cloak and brown trousers, much too large for her tiny frame. Was she trying to remain unseen? Cullen can't imagine anything so beautiful going unseen…by anyone. Even with her hood pulled, her long hair and those piercing blue eyes… Maker's Breath.

And then Solas is standing by her side. He grabs her hand and holds her palm up towards the green light in the sky. Cullen watches as energy pulses between the tiny Elf's hand and the Rift. An explosion of green light and all of a sudden, it's gone. Cheers come from his men. He remains staring at the Elf and watches as she begins to sway. He starts to run, hoping to catch her before she falls to the ground.

*********************************************************************************************

The next time Ellana opens her eyes, she's in an unknown room and in a bed. Her wounds have been treated and her headache is no longer present.

There is a knock on the door. Large boots are visible from the gap underneath and she can hear armor. The door handle begins to turn.


	2. Companions of the Inquisition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellana wakes up to find herself in an unknown room, with her wounds treated. She is introduced to the companions of the Inquisition and learns of their quest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few quick notes to assist with reading this chapter: I’ve decided to proceed as if the Inquisition has already been called to order, prior to Ellana’s arrival. Most of the party members are already present at Haven and have joined the Inquisition – I want to spend time developing the relationship between these characters, rather than having to go through each mission of the game in order to recruit them. Not all are already recruited! I have a few things in mind for the ones not yet mentioned and their introductions… 
> 
> I’ve played through the game a few times, as a Mage and then Rogue. I really enjoyed the double daggers in the game, but my favorite is probably playing as a Mage. I’ve decided to have the best of both worlds and have Ellana function as both! I’d like to think that outside of a gaming context, you could wield magic AND look like a complete badass with daggers, knives and kickflips hehe. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)

The next time Ellana opens her eyes, she’s in an unknown room and in a bed. Her wounds have been treated and her headache is no longer present. 

There is a knock on the door. Large boots are visible from the gap underneath and she can hear armor. The door handle begins to turn. 

Ellana’s heart is beating, fast. The door swings open to reveal the female Shem from earlier – Cassandra, she recalls – and the Elf, Solas. Mild relief washes over her as she finds a much kinder look on the woman’s face. Her features are softened now that they lack the battlefield fury and Ellana picks up hints of sorrow, regret and grief.

The woman sits down in a chair beside the bed in which Ellana rests, while Solas leans against the wall; his gaze intensely set on Ellana’s hand. ‘The mark! Creators, I had almost forgotten about the mark,’ she thinks, while noticing its pain is less severe. 

“Maker, forgive me.” The woman finally speaks, “you helped. You closed the rift and saved the remaining soldiers here. I know not where you come from or your intentions, but for that – I owe you my regard.” 

Ellana manages a tiny nod of thanks. Where did she come from? Her intentions? This woman has simple inquiries and yet the answers… she can’t entirely recall. Her last memories are of Keeper Deshanna’s instructions to spy on the Conclave’s proceedings, as the recent rebellions have been threatening the Clan’s safety and way of life. She had made it to the Conclave and then, suddenly everything goes blank. She woke up on her back, in the middle of the field… directly under that green light in the sky. 

“I am Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast. Right hand of the Divine,” she pauses. Ellana notices the Seeker’s eye twitch and a look of pain spread among her face. Ellana decides that her name is not information she wishes to disclose at this point and remains silent. Quickly recovering, Cassandra continues, “This – gesturing to the Male Elf – is Solas. He is an apostate hedge mage and an expert on the Fade. He is the closest we have come to understanding what these rifts in the sky mean and how to react. After the Commander broke your fall, he carried you down here to a private room where Solas could begin your healing. Solas sat here with you while you were unconscious and did not allow your wounds to kill you – including that mark.” 

At this, Solas moves his glance from her hand to her face. She can tell his eyes are analyzing her; he looks for more information in her facial expressions. Is he waiting for… “Ah, um…thank you,” Ellana’s mumbles, while slightly bowing her head. When she looks up, he is still staring. She realized her appreciation was not a concern of his and his eyes go back down towards her palm. 

Ellana wasn’t used to being around non-Dalish Elves and she found herself mildly hurt – although it was foolish of her to expect it, she had hoped to find friendship or kindness in another of her kind. This didn’t appear to the case with Solas. She found herself wondering about this mentioned Commander. Quite the Title – doesn’t sound like friendship or kindness will be found in that direction either. At this rate, the friendliest face is the Female Shem who was introduced by shoving a sword in her face. ‘Ma halani’, Ellana thinks to her Creators. She will need all the help she can get to navigate this situation.

“I will wait for you to gather your thoughts and meet you outside. We will introduce you to the rest of the Inquisition.” Cassandra stood up. She exits the room, along with Solas, closing the door behind them. 

Ellana glances around the room and notices her belongings are placed on a nearby table. She remains in her tunic and trousers, yet her cloak has been carefully folded and placed beside her daggers. Her boots are placed on the floor underneath the table. Raising an eyebrow, she wonders why they have allowed her access to her weapons. If a Shemlen had broken into her clan’s camp, it would take much more than one good deed before they left the intruder’s weapons lying in plain sight, as if asking to be slaughtered. ‘Is this a trap? Should I go for them?’ 

Ellana decides to pick up the daggers and place them back into the holster attached to her back. She has no intentions of using them, but will be cursing herself if trouble arises and she’s left them behind. In addition, her training in combat will always throw off her opponent; they are not expecting her to have both the gift of Magic and such combat skills – being a Mage who could wield daggers better than any of the clan’s hunters was merely one of the reasons Keeper Deshanna had chosen Ellana as her First. She had cast a fire spell at the Conclave… so most of the soldiers likely knew her as a Mage… but it couldn’t hurt. Ellana slips on her boots and quietly hopes she has not just failed some sort of first trial set out by the Shems. 

The next few moments are but a blur to Ellana. She exits the room and sees Cassandra hovering nearby – Solas is nowhere to be seen. Cassandra leads her through groups of soldiers and townsfolk, bringing her towards a huge structure at the top of the hill. 

“There she is!”

“The Herald!”

“She’s an Elf?”

“The Herald of Andraste!” 

“She saved us!” 

“I heard she’s a Mage!”

“Look at her hand…”

“She closed the sky and saved us all!” 

Dozens of voices whispered as Ellana passed by. She caught mummers of their conversation. “Andraste? Is it I they discuss?’ Ellana’s face involuntarily wrinkled, ‘I am no Herald of a Shemlen Prophet.’ 

Ellana follows Cassandra into the large building and towards a room in the far back. She can hear voices inside, voices that are arguing. The door opens and Ellana can see two Female Shemlen, they are standing around a table with a large map pulled across the center. Immediately the argument stops and their eyes turn towards her. 

“This is Ellana Lavellan.” Cassandra announces, while stepping into the room. Ellana remains in the hallway; she is startled that Cassandra knows of her personal and Clan name. 

The female with the auburn-red hair and hood pulled across her face lets out a small laugh – a kind laugh, not one of arrogance or disfavor. “My apologies, Lady Lavellan,” she spoke. “My agents found the letter from your Clan’s Keeper in your cloak when you had fainted. I hope you’ll forgive our violation of your privacy and understand our concern for more information on your intentions. If you are displeased, you may direct any anger towards myself. I gave the order. My name is Lellana and I am responsible for…”

“She is our Spy-Master.” Cassandra finished. Lellana smiled at Cassandra, “That is the most forward way of explaining it. I am… was Left Hand of the Divine,” and then she stopped. Ellana watched the same look of sadness and grief wash over Lellana’s face. 

“This is Josephine Montilyet,” Cassandra signalled towards the second woman. Ellana looked at her, she was beautiful but very, very decorated in luxurious fabrics of bright gold. ‘This one is certainly not a warrior,’ Ellana thought. Although she looked very kind – they both did, actually. 

“She is our Ambassador and Chief Diplomat.” Cassandra continued. Josephine did a small bow of her head towards Ellana, and she found herself returning the motion. 

‘Chief Diplomat to… what exactly?’ Ellana wondered, as she stepped into the room. There was a noise of someone clearing their throat to her right – ‘Creators!’ she jumped. She glanced over to see a Male Shemlen in the room; he had been blocked from her view while standing in the hallway. 

It was…. It was him. The man… from the battlefield. He was standing over the map with both hands leaning forward on the table. They locked eyes again and he straightened himself, standing tall with squared shoulders. ‘Creators,’ Ellana involuntary began to study his features. He was tall. Even for a Shemlen, he was tall and broad. She could tell he was very strong. His sword was at his side and she suddenly realized why her daggers were left out for her to carry – apparently they had adequate protection. 

He was so close; she could see much more detail in his face. He had a scar on one side of his mouth and it tugged slightly as he began to curve up one side of his lip. Not quite a smile – he too looked like he was assessing her. Those eyes were even more intoxicating at such close length. Where his face spoke of blankness and scrutiny, his eyes promised her warmth and trust. 

“This is our Commander, Cullen Rutherford.” Cassandra’s voice broke her focus on him. He slightly nodded towards her, before quickly bringing his eyes back down to the map. She noticed his gaze rested on her hand and the glowing mark for a few moments on their way down. 

This… was the Commander? The one who carried her down from the Conclave? She had been expecting… something very different: something much more frightening; something much less… pleasant to look at. She quickly stole another look at the scar on his mouth. Suddenly, she found herself blushing at the thought of his Title, rather than feeling a sense of fear from it. Was it the Title or… that…scar… Ellana couldn’t stop looking at it. She quickly looked away, fearing the warmth of her face would become noticeable. 

She looked around the room and caught Lilliana smiling at her. ‘Creators’ Ellana grimaced. She had been caught. She’d have to be cautious around that one – the Spy Master. Luckily she wasn’t detecting any foul intentions from her, from any of them actually. It was odd. What did they want from her? What were they part of?

“Allow us to explain.” Josephine spoke….

*************************************************************************************************************

Over the next few hours, Ellana was told of the Inquisition. She learned that Divine Justinia had concerns of the growing rebellion and fighting for quite some time. She had called together various allies and put together a group that encompassed many skilled and talented warriors, scholars and individuals – called the Inquisition. They would seek truth in these dark and unsure times, work towards reconciling the groups at war and bring peace and justice to Thedas. The Divine had not been seen since the opening in the sky at the Conclave, and many soldiers claimed to have heard her voice from the rift as she perished. 

Ellana learned that multiple Rifts had opened across Thedas and demons, much like the ones she saw earlier, were spewing out of them. Killing anyone and everything that stood in their path. Solas had told Cassandra he did not know of the magic that opened the Fade in the sky or the many Rifts, but he could feel it was the same magic that pulsed through Ellana’s hand. He believed her when she said that she had no knowledge of how it got there, or how she ended up on her back at the Conclave – and that appeared to be sufficient for Cassandra to believe Ellana’s account. Cassandra’s trust appeared to be sufficient for the others around the table to believe Ellana as well. 

She was asked to lend her assistance and use the mark on her hand to close the Fade and the Rifts. Ellana found herself agreeing to help – she didn’t fully trust these Shem… however, she had a kind heart. Ellana could not stand back and watch innocents die – Elves, Shemlen, or anything else. She had to help. 

A sigh of relief occurred around the table. Had they really expected her to say no? The three female Shems began pointing at various locations on the map, discussing where areas held the most significant Rifts. Ellana looked over to steal a quick glance at the Commander however she found him already staring directly at her. She jumped a little. He quickly moved his head back down to stare at the map. Ellana could detect no emotion in his face. ‘Creators’, he made her feel flustered. 

Eventually, Ellana was escorted around the Site – which she found out to be called Haven – by Cassandra. She was introduced to various individuals – some of which were much friendlier than others. 

Her favorite was a fellow Mage named Dorian. He was a Tevinter mage – Ellana had heard little about Trevinter, yet enough to know why they were disliked among the people of Thedas. She found his designation as an outsider comforting and similar to her own situation. Plus, he was a Mage. She instantly felt a deep connection to him; his devious smile and wit towards Cassandra only confirmed it. 

There was a Dwarf named Varric. She also took an immediate liking to him – he appeared to be exceptional at getting on Cassandra’s nerves, yet in an endearing way that suggested the two were better friends than what they led on.

A Grey Warden named Blackwall came next. He was mostly silent, Ellana found him hard to read. He was kind when he spoke and seemed to be eagerly awaiting action or the next battle. 

Another Elf, named Sera, was quite the surprise. If Ellana had felt foolish for expecting kindness from Solas for being a fellow Elf… Sera had her feeling like a complete halfwit. This one seemed to detest Ellana for being a fellow Elf – it was most confusing. Upon their introduction, Sera had looked at her cloak and crinkled her nose before spewing “ew, this ‘ne looks like a right Elfy-Elf!” 

Ellana didn’t have much time to reflect on her introduction to Sera as shortly after, Cassandra introduced her to something called the Iron Bull – “Bull, for short” he had insisted. He was, something unlike what Ellana had ever seen. He was a Qunari and Ellana had heard little about them, so it was quite a shock. She never expected to be in the actual presence of one. What was he doing in Thedas? Why was he working with this Inquisition? He looked far too friendly… and made exceptionally crude jokes. Ellana had actually giggled at a few of them, unable to suppress her laughter. The jokes were funny, but Cassandra’s face whenever he cracked one was possibly funnier. 

‘What an odd group.’ Ellana thought, while looking across the Camp. Everyone seemed to be involved with endless tasks, hurrying about Haven. She noticed a lack of presence from both Solas and the Commander. She wondered where they were? She was nervous to encounter Solas again… and embarrassingly anxious to see more of the Commander. 

*************************************************************************************************************

Later that evening, Ellana found herself with a plate of food, sitting around the fire with Cassandra and a few others. The food was… Creators. Is this what Shemlen ate? It was odd… lacked the herbs and spices Ellana was accustomed to. Earlier, she had overheard one of Elven maidens mentioning a cook-room of sorts. She wondered if she could… go prepare a little meal of her own – something a bit more familiar. 

Ellana found her way to the tavern and the room in the back, which appeared to be where the Camp’s food was prepared. She recognized a few of the herbs and spices of which she was familiar! Standing at the burning pot, she began to quietly sing one of her Clan’s melodies while stirring in various herbs. 

She was lost in the moment while singing and had almost forgotten where she was. The smell of the spices and singing her Clan’s melody reminded her of the many nights she never thought she’d miss with them. ‘What are they doing right now?’ Ellana wondered. ‘Do they know that I’m alive?’. She was completely lost in thought until the sound of someone clearing his throat came from her behind.

She quickly spun around to find the Commander staring at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! I’d love to hear if people are enjoying this and if I should continue (:


	3. & it was nice for a moment…

Cullen was standing at the War Room table and had been reviewing various reports and requisitions for the last few hours. He felt disoriented from recent events: unknown magic illuminating the sky with shades of wondrous greens, spine-chilling demons falling down upon them, it was too much. Throwing himself into work had always provided Cullen a sense of relief and purpose; when others found themself at the brink of exhaustion, Cullen found vigor in pushing through – burning the midnight candle. 

A loud grumble from his stomach suddenly reminded him that he hadn’t eaten anything since early that morning. He stood up and slightly winced at the stiffness in his neck and shoulders. As a warrior, Cullen placed his training above all else – it would be an understatement to say he was, at times, less than kind to his body. His bones often screamed with cracks and creaks at the end of a long day. The lyrium withdrawal and a lack of sleep were only magnifying the issues. 

Stepping out into the coldness of Haven, Cullen caught a glance of blonde hair quickly slipping into the makeshift tavern where the Inquisition cooks kept food and supplies. He frowned. ‘Why would she be going in there at this hour?’ Cullen wasn’t sure if it was from a distrust of her motives, or a yearning to see more of her… but he found himself walking towards the tavern. As always, a few soldiers with various questions or reports stopped him along the way.

When he finally arrived at the tavern, he pulled back the cloth door and could instantly smell a mixture of herbs and spices wafting out from the back. ‘Sweet Andraste, that smells good.’ Cullen’s stomach let out a rather large gurgle. He slowly made his way towards the cook section of the tavern. A faint singing started to make its way to his ears – at first he wasn’t sure that he was truly hearing it. 

It was… lovely. The volume was so quiet, yet her notes were high and filled the room like crystalized air. Cullen turned the corner carefully and found the blonde Elf standing in front of a pot, slightly stirring, with her back facing him. He froze. The sweetness of her voice, mixed with the strong smell of herbs and the movement of her slight hands, as she waved her fingers along to her tune; it was enchanting. Cullen could hardly believe such a slender throat could produce such an intoxicating melody.

He felt shameful for watching her like this; she clearly had no idea he was there. He cleared his throat slightly, hoping to refrain from startling her. She turned around quickly, eyes wide and her singing instantly stopped. Cullen’s heart sank a little. 

“Sorry to disturb you,” he stammered. “I- I was looking for something to eat myself. That smells delicious… I’ll admit I was rather taken by the scent and found myself following its trail. My apologizes for the intrusion.” 

She stood, frozen before him. ‘Makers… I’ve scared her. Well done, Cullen.’ He grimaced. ‘Say something, you fool….’ 

“Your voice is beautiful.” The words escaped his mouth before he could consider them. With this, she blushed and a small smile formed on her lips. ‘Ah, well… that’s better than fright,’ he figured. 

“Thank you,” a tiny voice answered. 

“I – I can leave. I’ll get something to eat later on. Again, I’m sorry for the intrusion…” he started to turn when his stomach let out another rather large grumble. He looked back at the tiny Elf to find her giggling.

“Would you like a bowl?” she asked, gesturing to the dish she had been preparing. 

“Ah,” Cullen began to blush, “that would actually be lovely. I ugh, I guess I’m awfully hungry. Thanks…” Cullen sat down at a nearby table and watched the blonde Elf bring over two bowls. She sat down at the chair across from him.

**************************************************************************

Ellana nervously sat down at the table with the Commander. She quickly handed him one of the bowls and began to focus on her own, slowly stirring the spoon to distract her nerves of someone other than her Clan-mates eating her food. Especially a Shemlen; a male Shemlen. Especially this one… 

She looked up and watched him take his first bite. A look of approval spread across his face and she couldn’t help but allow another smile to creep upon her lips. Within a few moments however, something appeared to have gone wrong. The Commander had an odd look on his face and a bright red color began to rise up from his neck. 

“The spice…” he managed, “I’m – not use to…” he attempted to suppress a cough and quickly grabbed a glass of water, clearly not aware that it would only make the situation much worse. Ellana hadn’t considered that Shemlen might be unfamiliar with the level of spice her Eleven Clan preferred. She didn’t want to offend the Commander and so she pulled her fist up to her mouth, attempting to keep her giggles quietly muffled. The water only made his face redden further and his eyes began to water. Ellana could no longer help herself – she burst out into laughter. 

**************************************************************************

Cullen was sitting across from the tiny Elf and cursing himself. He was very unfamiliar with this level of spice and had been desperately trying to keep a straight face. The food was delicious…until a few moments in and then, the heat hit him. He grabbed a glass of water, which only appeared to make the issue worse. His eyes began to water and suddenly his companion burst out into a fit of laughter. 

‘Maker’s Breath,’ Cullen thought between gasps of air and suppressing a cough. Her laugh – it was the second most beautiful sound he had heard that evening. Cullen smiled and decided he was intent on hearing that sweet noise again – although, preferably… it would not be at his expense the next time. Cursing himself once more, he felt the heat slowly leaving his face and hoped he could regain some of his composure in front of her. 

She had stopped laughing and slightly nodded her head, as a sort of apology. He smiled to her and laughed himself, while getting up to grab some cream. “I’ll need to water this down a bit…” he chuckled. 

When he sat back down at the table, he could tell the ice had been broken and they spoke more freely to one another now. The conversation began with him asking how she was holding up, and moved onto discussions of her Clan; he had been correct, she was Dalish. 

“Your markings… may I ask what they’re called?” he nervously switched the conversation to a more personal level. 

“Vallaslin,” she answered. “My people call it Blood Writing. You receive your Vallaslin when you are considered to be an adult and must remain quiet during the process. Cries of pain are considered to be a great weakness and incredibly shameful. We choose the God to which we feel a strong connection and take on their mark.”

“That’s incredible,” he wanted to know more… “May I… ask which God you have chosen?” He took this as an opportunity to examine the intricate designs on her face in a more obvious manner. They were discussing the markings and so, he felt a little less self-conscious staring at her so openly. Faint black lines, which looked like tree branches, surrounded the corner of her eyes; they started on her cheekbones and shifted up towards her temples. 

“I have chosen Mythal, our great Protector.” He noticed that her confidence grew the more she spoke of her Clan and customs. She lifted an arm and began to pull up one of her sleeves, “I carry mine further than my face. It covers my being.” He could see the intricate design of branches flowing out from her tunic sleeve and going down to her wrist. Suddenly he noticed the design also covered a line down her throat and disappeared into the front of her tunic. 

In that moment, Cullen was eternally grateful for the disguise of his blushing from the food. He couldn’t help himself; he was wondering just how far the markings went down… and which areas of her tiny frame were…

“Woah!” Varric’s voice called out. Cullen snapped back to his senses and turned to look at the Dwarf, who had just entered the tavern. “Just here to grab some more ale,” Varric held up his hands and smiled. 

Cullen looked back at Ellana to find her gaze returned to her soup. He quickly focused his own gaze on the food as well. 

“Well,” Varric yelled as he headed back towards the exit, “there’s a view I never expected to see: a Templar and Mage, sharing a meal! Only in this place,“ he chuckled and disappeared through the cloth door. 

Cullen froze. He had purposely been holding that information back from Ellana…that he was an ex-Templar. He knew the Dalish did not participate in Circles however… she was a Mage. Maker knows he wasn’t always kind to Mages… no Templar really was, regardless of their intentions… by default of being a Templar and all…although he tried to show kindness. 

He slowly looked up from his bowl to glance at her face and for the second time that evening, his heart sank. She had dropped her spoon and sat frozen, staring at him. Cullen wasn’t going to be getting any more laughs from Ellana that evening. She looked to be holding back tears, mixed with anger and disgust. He sighed silently to himself and began cursing both himself and Varric. 

**************************************************************************

Ellana couldn’t believe her ears. Varric had said that the man sitting in front of her was a Templar. She didn’t believe it – assumed it was one of Varric’s odd jokes she didn’t understand, until she moved her eyes to Cullen... and saw his face. In that moment, she knew Varric had spoken the truth.

“Ex-” he mumbled while keeping his eyes cast down towards the table, “Ex-Templar. I… uh… served as a Templar at the Circle of Magi. I…had to leave after…” he trailed off. “Then Kirkwall and, afterwards… it was too much. I no longer found myself… supporting those beliefs. I – I walked away from that life. I am no longer a Templar…” his head hung low.

Ellana felt her blood begin to boil and a burning rage begin to bubble in her stomach before slowly rising to her face. Nostrils flared and eyes narrowing, she couldn’t believe herself. She had been sitting here, chatting with and blushing over a Templar. One who apparently thought throwing an ‘ex’ in front of the word did something to remove his part in the terror. 

The Dalish did not participate in the Circle of Magi and so Ellana had never attended a Circle, nor had any of her Clan members. She had however, heard horror stories of how Mages were treated there. As a young girl, her Clan had been passing near a small village one evening. Just before sundown, her and a few of the Clan’s adolescents carefully snuck into the village outskirts, hoping to catch glimpses of its inhabitants and satisfy their curiosity. 

A middle-aged man and woman sat on a bench, holding each other and crying over a letter the woman held in her hand. Ellana overheard bits of their conversation: their daughter had been sent to a nearby Circle and failed her Harrowing, which meant the Templars had stuck her down; their daughter was dead. The sounds of grief that escaped the mother’s mouth… Ellana has never forgotten it. Ellana wondered, in that moment, if Cullen would simply place an “ex” in front of the “mother”, and pretend as if her pain and grief could go away so easily. 

She stared at the man in front of her again, her entire opinion of him now changed. Some Circles seemed to be… less harsh than others. She couldn’t picture this man being one of the particularly cruel Templars, but it didn’t matter. He was a Templar. Most of the Circles she had heard of were exceptionally cruel to Elven Mages. How had he sat there thinking this information could be kept from her? 

This, interest… connection, whatever she had felt towards him, “Halam sahlin” she hissed more towards herself than him, vowing not to let her guard down around him again. She stood up quickly and he raised his head to look at her. He may have been one of the kinder ones, but he was still a Templar. Ellana would keep this Shem at a distance. Apparently the Spy-Master wasn’t the one she should truly be wary of… 

She walked out of the tavern without looking back. Had she snuck a final glance, she would have seen the Commander with his head buried in his hands; eyes shut and a deep breath of disappointment escaping his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damnit, Varric! ): Although it had to come out at some point…. *sigh*


	4. Calling for a Ceasefire

Cullen’s muscles tensed as he walked throughout Haven and made his way towards the War Room. This was the first official meeting of himself, Lelliana, Josephine, Cassandra and… the Harold. Large numbers of men and women around the Camp had begun calling her that. Cullen could tell that her jaw tightened at every mention of it, but she kept quiet and allowed the people to keep their faith and beliefs. He figured it best to begin using it himself – it would remind him of his place here and of hers. He was there to serve the Inquisition and command its forces. He was not there to justify himself or… he didn’t even need the Harold to like him, really. He just needed to work with her and train the soldiers. 

Last night had ended, well…not in that way Cullen would have preferred. The Harold had stormed out of the tavern and Cullen had not seen her since. He regretted ever following her into the tavern; he knew she would have found out about his Templar past at some point, but it would have been easier had they not spoken at all. The part of their evening before Varric had ruined it… that part, Cullen wished he could have avoided. It was too pleasant and too fond a memory for them to no longer be speaking. 

In addition to dreading seeing the Harold, the lyrium withdrawals were exceptionally difficult today – which only added to his discomfort and nausea. This was going to be a painful meeting… Cullen signed and braced himself before walking in through the War Room doors. 

Cassandra, Lelliana, Josephine and the Harold were already standing around the map. Various “Good Morning, Commander” or nods from his colleagues were received, with the exception of the Harold. She stood at the back of the table heavily surveying the map, ignoring his entrance entirely. Cullen was expecting this and yet it still stung a little more than he had anticipated. 

Cassandra called the meeting to order and they were immediately thrown into a discussion on the Hinterlands. Lelliana had received word that Mother Giselle was requesting an audience with the Harold. There was also a general consensus that it would be a good idea for the common folk to see the Harold traveling through the lands, meeting those who had been displaced from the fighting and lending assistance, when possible. The Harold was to depart the next morning with a few companions. 

While Cassandra and Lelliana discussed who should remain at Haven for its protection vs accompany the Harold on her first journey, Cullen’s focus shifted to his headache. He felt awful; his vision was starting to turn blurry every now and then and the light sensitivity… Maker’s Breath it was awful. The War Room was fairly dark, yet Josephine’s candle was directly lined up with his eyesight and it was… felt like it was burning into his eyes. Looking for a distraction, Cullen switched his focus to the Harold. She was heavily invested in the discussion on companions, listening intently, and wouldn’t notice a few well-timed glances from her right. 

She was in new dressings today: brown leather trousers – quite form fitting, Cullen noticed – with straps and minor medal embellishments across the legs. She was in a white tunic – also form fitting, Cullen winced – that hung just below her collarbone and across her arms, underneath her shoulders. Her Vallaslin was more observable now: a single line of branches went down the middle of her throat and broke out into two parallel lines, which flowed down her chest and disappeared into the fabric of her tunic in between her breasts. A new line of branches began on each shoulder and flowed down her arms, also disappearing into her tunic. Cullen followed his gaze down her arm and found the branches poking out again from her sleeve, stopping at her wrist. He found himself glancing down to her boots and wondering if the branches ran from her throat to her ankles…

“Commander, will it work?” Cassandra’s voiced snapped him back to the present moment. He quickly looked around and thanked the Maker that his companions were still staring at the map and hadn’t noticed him eyeing the Harold. 

When he didn’t respond, Cassandra pressed further “Refugees. If the Harold finds men who are willing and able to join, can you accept them into the ranks and provide training? Do we have the resources and the time?”

“Ah,” Cullen was thankful for her response, “Yes. We should, it should work.” 

****************************************************************************************

Ellana lingered in the War Room after mostly everyone had cleared out. She had noticed something odd going on with the Commander in that meeting – something more than awkwardness or being uncomfortable after the previous evening. He felt…. She could feel that he was sick. He had clearly not been paying attention to their discussions at various points, which is something she understood to be far from the norm – everyone had been calling him extremely dedicated to his work, placing it above all else. 

She also wanted more information on him and his history of being a… Templar. If they were to work together, she would need to know if she could trust him – as a colleague. She waited for Josephine to leave the room, and called for Cassandra to hold back. 

“Cassandra…” Ellana called out, “do you have a moment?”

Cassandra turned back around and returned to the War Table.

“Erm… well, I was hoping to ask you a few questions about the Commander.”

Cassandra nodded.

“I… found out from Varric yesterday that the Commander was a Templar. I’m finding it a little…difficult to understand and accept that. It’s… “

“I understand.” Cassandra sighed, “it would only make sense for you to feel that way. The Commander has, changed significantly since his days as a Templar. Come for a walk with me, I will explain…”

Ellana and Cassandra exit through the gates of Haven and begin to walk through the wild lands just outside of the camp. Cassandra explains how Cullen was a Templar at Kinloch Hold when Uldred and his fellow mages unleashed demons upon the Ferelden Circle. Ellana listens to how he was imprisoned and tortured before his eventual rescue. Cassandra withholds many details, yet Ellana still feels a twisted knot forming in her stomach as she imagines what it must have felt like. After Ferelden, the young Templar was promoted to Knight-Captain and sent to Kirkwall. Ellana didn’t need Cassandra to explain the events of Kirkwall – she had heard of what Knight-Commander Meredith Stannard had done. She hadn’t however, heard that the Commander was there – that was quite a surprise. ‘What unfortunate luck, for the same person to be at both events.’ She shuddered.

“I was sent to Kirkwall on the Divine’s orders to assess the situation,” Cassandra continued. “I knew the Commander from his early Templar days and when I found him in Kirkwall… I could tell he needed a change of scenery. His skills and experience would greatly benefit the Inquisition and so I recruited him. He left the Templars and has brought a few loyal and good men along with him. I would trust him with my life. As Commander of our soldiers, you could say that I trust him with all of our lives.” 

Ellana remained quiet. It was a lot of information to receive. The hell this man had been through, it was too much for one lifetime. He was still a Templar though, she reminded herself. How do you walk away from that? 

“There is something else.” Cassandra stopped walking and turned towards Ellana, “When the Commander left the Templars and joined the Inquisition, he decided that his position would require a certain degree of… he needed a clear mind and minimal distractions. Are you familiar with Templars and their consumption of lyrium?”

Ellana nodded.

“The Commander discontinued his use of lyrium when he joined the Inquisition. He has been free of it since Day 1 and although it’s been many months, he is still heavily experiencing withdrawal symptoms.” 

Ellana’s eyes opened wide, “But, I’ve heard that will kill you! That men go mad if they attempt to go off it!” 

Cassandra lowered her head, “The Commander is a very strong man. He has been greatly challenged these last few months, but we are confident he will get past this. He has been handling it well…considering.”

Ellana was dumbfounded. If it was possible to truly walk away from such a life… that was certainly the way to do it. She couldn’t figure out if this information gave her a greater resect for the Commander or if it further cemented her opinion of him as an idiot. Possibly both?

Ellana swallowed a lump that had been forming in her throat. “Thank you,” she quietly mumbled to Cassandra. 

Cassandra nodded and turned to go before speaking one final time, “I do not presume to understand how you must feel towards a prior Templar. I can only assure you of the Commander’s character, today. He is a good man. You can trust him to lead our forces.”

Ellana looked up at the sky and watched as the sun began to set. The following morning, she would be departing for the Hinterlands and remain there for a few weeks. Taking the evening to consider how she would like to proceed with the Commander would be ideal; unfortunately she didn’t have the time. If she left things as they are and disappeared for a few weeks, it would be difficult to come back from that. Did she even want to change how things were between them?

If she wished to clear the air, it was now or never. 

****************************************************************************************

Ellana found herself standing outside his tent, unsure of what to do next. She took a deep breath and called out, “Commander, may I come in?” 

She heard a loud crash as if something had been dropped on the ground; she had startled him – a tiny giggle escaped her lips. He pulled across the tent’s door and stood before her looking exhausted, with beads of sweat forming on his temples. ‘Abelas, he looks terrible!’ Ellana sadly thought. 

“Harold, what can I do for you?” He forced a polite smile on his face, attempting to conceal the pain.

“May I come in?” 

“Ah, yes…” he moved out of the way and she walked into the tent. 

Ellana sighed and looked back at the Commander. During her walk to his tent, she had still felt a great deal of anger towards him. She wasn’t entirely sure what she was going to say to him or how she wanted the conversation to go. Looking at him now, ‘Creators…’ he was a sorry sight. She found herself quite surprised as the anger began to fade and was quickly replaced with compassion and care. 

She wanted to apologize; she wanted to forgive him; she wanted to accept him as the Commander of the Inquisition and put his past life as a Templar behind him. She couldn’t understand why or how to express this to him – she could hardly find the words to express it to herself. At a complete loss of what to say, she simply extended a hand to the Commander and smiled while asking him, “Can we start over?” 

Relief and relaxation spread across his face. He reached out to take her hand in his, while placing his other hand on top – engulfing her tiny hand within his two. “Makers, yes. I would very much like that.” 

Ellana was slightly startled – she had been going for a handshake and then he did this. It was… more intimate that she had been prepared for, but it was nice. Her hands were ungloved and the warmth from his leathered gloves felt comforting on her tiny hand. She looked up and found him staring at her: those warm amber eyes locked onto her own and she felt a warm sensation begin to form in her stomach, quickly rising to her face. 

She could see immense pain behind those eyes. Sadness and terror screamed out from behind his pupils; and yet, they whispered promises to her of protection, of care and of comfort. 

At some point, they would need to discuss this further – sort though the complications of her being a Mage and him a former Templar. 

In this moment however, it was enough.


	5. A Midsummer Knight's Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't burn me over the title lmaooo I thought it was funny *hides face in sweater* 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone that has read/ left a comment / given a kudos! It honestly means so much to me and makes me smile :) I'm having so much fun writing this and it's nice to know that there are others enjoying it as well. 
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day! Minor smut warning for this chapter. Enjoy!

Cullen was in the War Room reviewing the map when the door started to slowly open. It was late and he hadn’t been expecting anyone to interrupt his evening work. Small, pale fingers wrapped around the door and his stomach jolted – he instantly knew it was her. 

She walked into the War Room and quietly closed the door behind her. Cullen’s heart skipped a beat; she was in the white tunic from earlier and… that was all. It fell just above her thighs and speaking of her thighs… Maker’s Breath, Cullen had been correct: her Vallaslin trailed down the front of each leg and stopped on the top of each foot. Cullen tried to steady his breathing as she began walking towards him. She had a wild look in her eyes. 

“Good Evening Har-” he was interrupted as she placed a single finger on his lips. His heart felt like it was about to explode from his chest. Her finger slowly moved from his mouth to the side of his neck, stroking his jaw with her tiny thumb. 

Cullen was frozen; he couldn’t move. She kept eye contact with him while slowly moving closer to his face and suddenly her mouth was pressed up against his. She kissed him – it was a hard kiss that spoke of hunger and lust. Cullen reached out to grab her with one hand by the waist and the other grabbed onto her hair from behind. He pulled her towards him, wanting even more of her pressed up against himself. 

Although it lasted several minutes, the kiss was over too quickly for Cullen. She was pulling away, backing up against the war table with a smirk on her face and eyes flashing with want. She lifted her hands up to her collarbones and started to lightly trace the Vallaslin lines with her fingers. 

Slowly and gently, she brought her fingers down closer to her breasts, continuing the tracing of those faint lines. Cullen took a sharp breath in and backed up against the wall behind him to steady himself – this was… the most arousing thing he’d ever seen. He could feel himself growing tight in the loins, his leather trousers not providing enough stretch for what she was doing to him. 

He heard men yelling outside, “Get ready to open the gates!” and… that didn’t make any sense. Why would they be opening the gates at this hour? Maker’s Breath, it didn’t matter. Cullen didn’t care about anything else right now… 

She lifted her hands from her chest and moved them to her thighs, finding those delicate lines and starting to slowly trace up… Cullen was breathing heavily. Her fingers continued tracing up towards her hipbones and her tunic began to move upwards. Cullen could now see her black undergarments peaking out and hints of white flesh from her stomach. 

“The Herald is preparing to depart!” Another man yelled out. What is he talking about? Cullen wondered, the Herald is right… 

A loud horn blasting through the camp jerked Cullen awake. It took a few moments for him to orient himself. “Maker’s Breath,” he whispered. ‘That was… a dream…’ Cullen felt ashamed and embarrassed; a little surprised and still fairly aroused. His mind may have accepted that none of it had been real, but his body was still… telling a different story… 

There was a glass of water beside his bed and he quickly grabbed the cup to splash into his face. Cold water – he needed that right now. Time to get up. It sounded like the Harold was getting ready to depart and… he had to be there for her departure… Cullen winced. He felt like he had already seen quite enough of her for one morning...

Moments later, Cullen was walking towards the entrance of Haven. When he turned the corner, he saw the Harold standing near the gate and– Sweet Andraste this was a bad idea. Cullen froze and his mouth slightly dropped open. 

She was wearing something entirely different than anything Cullen had seen before. White leathers: form-fitting trousers with black leather boots. A set of blades tucked into slits in her trousers, one on the side of each thigh. She had on a white leather vest, which functioned as a top – apparently. Her two main daggers were strapped onto the back of her vest in an X shape. The vest stopped right below her ribcage, leaving much of her stomach exposed. The vest had no sleeves, and so she wore white leather gloves that went up past her elbows. Her long, blonde hair was worn as a single, thick, long braid down her back. 

Cullen wasn’t entirely sure that he was actually awake… was he dreaming? The Commander wanted to tell the Harold it was foolish to have so much exposed skin going into combat. Also… she was the Harold… people would see her like this and… well, they’d be thinking of anything other than the Chantry… as that was the last thing on Cullen’s mind at the moment. 

Ellana caught him looking at her and began to walk up to him, “Good Morning, Commander.” She smiled. 

“Uh – Good Morning… “ Cursing himself, he knew his face was turning an unbearable shade of red. Maker, he couldn’t call her the Harold while she looked like this…

She laughed, “You look like a man who wants to say something, but is proceeding with caution. No need – Cassandra already chewed me out for this.” She started to imitate the Seeker’s accent: “You are sending an invitation for your opponents to slash you in half. Highlighting where they should strike you down.” She rolled her eyes.

“Well…” he started, “She has a point. Would you not prefer to have a bit more… protection?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “It’s for mobility. Also, I do not let my opponents close enough to require more protection. I have quite a few… surprises for them.” She pointed towards the blades on each side of her thighs. 

“Maker, how many blades do you carry?” 

No response, only more laughter. “Maybe one day you’ll find out if you ever leave this place and join us,” she smiled. “Also, don’t let the blades make you forget… I can protect myself in quite a few ways.” She lifted a palm and formed a tiny barrier around her body with her magic. Cullen could tell she was testing him, using her magic openly in front of him – eager to see if this truce of theirs could truly hold up.

The hairs on the back of his neck slightly raised but he kept a calm look on his face. “Fair travels, then.” He smiled and nodded. 

She did the same and began walking towards her companions. Cassandra, Bull, Solas and Dorian were climbing on their horses. Cullen shook his head and wondered to himself as he watched her ride away, ‘Just how much trouble is she going to be for me...’

***************************************************************************

Ellana had been in the Hinterlands for a little under one week. She had met Mother Giselle and quit a few of the refugees, displaced from the fighting. It was heartbreaking – there were children here who had lost both parents, families with nowhere to go. The Inquisition would take in as many folk as it could, but many were distrustful of Ellana and refused to go. The Inquisition was still rather unknown, and a Dalish Elf – who also happened to be a Mage – leading the cause… it wasn’t something that inspired a lot of instant trust. Thankfully, Mother Giselle would spread the word that the Inquisition could be trusted, before joining them at Haven. 

This afternoon had been particularly uneventful. Ellana and her companions had been riding through open fields and hadn’t encountered another living soul for hours. Ellana’s mind began to wonder through her ever-growing list of worries: 

How would they convince the refugees to trust the Inquisition?

Why hadn’t she heard from her Clan yet?? Lelliana had sent word of her newfound situation to them, and was assured the message was delivered. No response – Ellana couldn’t understand why. 

Solas: always staring at her with those ‘all-knowing’ and arrogant eyes. They had spoken more this past week and it only further confused her on if he could be trusted or not. 

Cassandra: it seemed too easy to crack her hard exterior… her and Ellana were becoming quite close friends. Was it genuine? Was there something else there?

And Cullen… their last interaction before her departure had left an unsavory taste in Ellana’s mouth. When she insisted that she could handle herself and cast his concerns regarding her battle leathers aside, he didn’t seem to believe her… kept staring at her like she was a child and he was amused. Ellana was sure that he didn’t take her seriously, didn’t consider her to be a threat. She was one of the best warriors of her Clan! She could pierce a foe’s eye with one of her blades from a far distance: all without the use of her magic! Which was also greatly powerful. 

Ellana grunted, she wasn’t sure why the Commander’s approval was so important to her… but she didn’t like the idea of him disregarding her abilities. 

“What’s on your mind, my dear?” Dorian rode his horse up to her side, clearly having heard her grumbling.

“Oh, nothing…”

He raised an eyebrow at her, “We have been riding through this open field for hours. Love, put me out of my misery. Do tell.” 

She laughed and began to share her concerns with the Commander and his lack of confidence in her fighting skills. 

Dorian smiled, “I’m not sure that’s why he’s always staring at you but I’ll bite – do something to, surprise him. Something bold.”

Ellana retreated to her thoughts. ‘Something bold…” Well, he did seem interested in how many blades she carried…


	6. The Duel

“You there – widen your stance!” She heard him instructing one of the recruits as she dismounted her horse and passed the reins over to Master Dennet. 

His concentration lay exclusively on the young soldiers before him; harshly critiquing their inexperience and mistakes in a way which conveyed his genuine wish to prepare them for the harsh realities of true battle: to ready and to protect them. Ellana greatly admired his dedication with the recruits and for a moment, questioned if she truly wanted to interrupt his training.

She walked towards the Commander and gave him a wave, “Commander, how are our soldiers faring?”

“Lady Lavellan, I am glad to see you have returned in one piece.” He smiled.

Ellana unfortunately took what was meant to be a pleasant quip on his part in a very different manner. ‘I was correct,’ she thought to herself, “he doubts my fighting skills…’

Cullen was confused as he watched her narrow her eyes and tighten her jaw. ‘Have I said something wrong?’ His confusion escalated greatly as she began to lift her hands behind her neck to grab hold of her blade’s handles and drew them out in front of her. He raised an eyebrow towards her.

Ellana pointed one of her blades directly towards him and smiled, “Commander Rutherford, I challenge you: a friendly duel, do you accept?” 

Cullen was astonished, ‘What in Maker’s name was she doing?’ Before he could further consider her request, she began wielding her blades and spinning them in circles within each hand: showing off her skills. She was daring him to say ‘no’. 

The recruits, eyes wide and mouths parted, quickly backed up to give the two senior Inquisition members ample room.

“Impressive.” He smiled and grabbed his sword from its sheath, “would you prefer me to use a wooden sword?” He toyed back. 

In response to his taunting, she quickly switched the blade in her right hand to her left and used her free hand to grab one of the knives tucked into her right thigh. In less than a second, she had lifted her hand back and sent the knife flying towards the Commander in a straight line directly with his face. 

He instinctively lifted his shield, which thankfully he had been holding already, and blocked the knife a moment before it would have collided directly with his right eye. The knife hit his shield and bounced towards the ground near the recruits. He lowered his shield to give her a bewildered look. 

She stood there smirking. “Would you prefer me to use wooden knives?” 

His face reddened, ‘fair enough.’ He nodded his head to signal her duel was accepted. 

Immediately, she pounced towards him. Her speed caught him off guard however, his armor caught the small Elf off hers; she was unable to knock him over and simply bounced backwards before quickly crouching down to stable herself with a hand on the ground. He lunged towards her, shield ready to buckle into her but she flipped to the right and avoided it at the last moment. 

Just as he watched her roll out of the way, he saw the second knife from her left thigh coming towards him – again, aimed at his face. He blocked it with his shield. “Harold, I’m starting to take this personally. Do you have a problem with my face?” He amusingly questioned her.

“Well, since you look so good with that scar, I thought you might benefit from one more.” She laughed and he deeply blushed. 

They were quickly back at it: dodging each other’s attacks and taking turns playing offensive and defensive. Cullen was expecting a few more ‘surprises’ flying towards his face and so he was more prepared for the tiny knives she threw at him, which had been tucked into her gloves at the wrist.

“Any more?” He smirked. Her face told him that she was out of surprises and he had only to deal with her main daggers. He ran towards her, engaging her in direct battle with his shield lifted. 

They sparred for a few moments, steel blade crashing against steel blade, until he was able to disarm her by slamming his shield up and knocking both blades from her hands. They dropped on the ground and he quickly kicked them out of her reach: she was weaponless. 

He backed away, giving her a chance to surrender. 

She had other plans. “Think I’d like to see what you look like on your back, Commander.” She winked and began to run at him with great speed. 

Her comment had greatly startled him and he could feel the redness take over his face. ‘What in Maker’s name is she planning?’ He threw up his shield to prepare for her strike. 

At the last moment, she shifted her weight backwards and slid, feet first, directly between his legs. Before he could turn around, she kicked one of his legs forward and he found himself falling backwards onto the ground. 

Ellana watched as Cullen fell onto his back and dropped his sword. She grabbed the sword and threw it across the field, removing it from his reach. She flew herself onto him, sitting with her legs on each side of his torso, and pulled another small knife out that had been tucked into her boot. She held the blade up to his neck, face hovering above his, and smirked. She had won. 

Cullen stared up at her mischievous grin and found himself paralyzed. She was on top of him, staring into his eyes, faces mere inches apart. They were both breathing heavily from the duel, she was practically panting on top of him – he could feel her breath. Cullen wanted to grab her face and pull her pink lips down to his own, to feel the warmth of her skin on his. 

“Harold! Commander! What are you both doing?” Cassandra’s voice came yelling out from the crowd. Cullen glanced over to see the recruits standing there, dumbfounded. 

Ellana laughed and quickly withdrew the blade from his neck, standing up and dusting off her knees. “Showing the Commander how many knives I carry,” she smiled innocently. 

Cassandra rolled her eyes and the recruits began to cheer. Cullen stood up and looked at her, “You know you won because you… you used tactics that would not work in real combat.”

Ellana couldn’t believe this – seriously? He couldn’t accept defeat? She rolled her eyes at him. 

“He is correct,” Cassandra cut in, “you cannot expect to bat your eyelashes at an opponent and for them to crumble, as the Commander did.” 

Cullen didn’t seem to appreciate Cassandra siding with him and lifted his hand to his neck out of embarrassment. “I didn’t crumble…” he mumbled, “It was… unexpected. Took me for surprise…” 

Ellana laughed; somehow he was even more charming when he blushed. 

“I do appreciate that you didn’t have to rely on magic.” Cullen switched back into Commander-mode, “You have good skills. I can however, tell you are familiar in fighting opponents with little or no armor. Your blades cannot slice through a shield or an iron suit.” 

Ellana rolled her eyes at him, though she knew he was correct. When Cassandra suggested that Cullen provide some one-on-one training with Ellana, she begrudgingly went along with it. Well, not truly ‘begrudgingly’… she was looking forward to spending more time with him. She tried to convince herself that she was solely excited for more opportunities to kick his ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really quick note: I've read a few stories that have this idea of Ellana and Cullen duelling at various points in the story. I thought it was super cute and wanted to do my own version of it. I'd hoped to link some of the stories that inspired me, but I read them before I made an account here and can't find them :( If I do end up re-reading them, I will give props where they are deserved!
> 
> I should have the next chapter up in a day or two :)


	7. Mages vs Templars

Later than evening, Ellana and her advisors were gathered in the War Room: they had serious matters to discuss. On their journey through the Hinterlands, the group had encountered both the Templars and the leader of the Rebel Mages. Both groups seemed like viable options for partnerships, yet each came with its own challenges and concerns. Ellana clearly leaned towards the Mages, yet had promised Cassandra she would discuss the two options with her advisors before making a final decision. 

It was a bloodbath around the War Table that evening. Ellana announced her preference for the Mages. Cullen was clearly siding with the Templars and did not hold back as he furiously listed off the various reasons on why the Mages could not be trusted. Ellana accused him of blindly supporting the Templars because of his prejudice towards Mages and background as a Templar; he accused her of the same.

Cassandra preferred the Templar route, however she was less opposed to the Mages than Cullen and cared most of finding a route forward. Leliana raised arguments for both sides – Ellana couldn’t determine which route the Spy-Master preferred. Every time she thought she had Leliana figured out, she appeared to switch sides. Josephine was certainly not as pro-Mage as Ellana, but she thought it would be best to avoid the Templars. 

Hours passed and the argument had settled down, with the exception of Ellana and Cullen. The other three landed on accepting Ellana’s decision to proceed with the Mages. Cullen would not back down. 

“We do not have to make this decision tonight,” Josephine cut in, “the Inquisition does not yet have the influence to approach either group at the moment – we would appear weak and not in a position to negotiate a true alliance. Let us take some time to consider what has been said.”

Everyone nodded and began to exit the War Room. Ellana stepped in front of Cullen and blocked his path, “May I speak with you, Commander?” she asked. 

He nodded and followed her as she walked out into the cold evening and led him to a bench on the outskirts of the Camp.

“I do not wish to argue with you,” she looked at him gently, “so, may I explain to you why I feel unable to work with the Templars?”

He nodded.

She was quiet for a while and began fiddling with her fingers. Finally, she spoke: “So, I had three reasons for why I feel proceeding with the Mages is my preferred course of action, but circumstances have changed and now I only have two. The last reason is still relevant however, and so I would like to share all of them with you.”

He took a deep breath and prepared to hear her out, earnestly listen to her arguments.

“When I was younger, I snuck out of my Clan’s camp one evening and crept into a nearby village with some of the other children…” she recounted the story of the two parents sitting on the bench, crying over their lost daughter. 

“Our Clan’s Keeper had noticed our absence and caught us sneaking back into the Camp. She was furious with us and I couldn’t understand why it was such a horrible thing for us to have spied on the Shemlen. She later explained to me that it was out of worry that she had scolded us so harshly. We were young and had not received our Vallaslin at this point. Our Keeper explained to me that Templars were known to frequently visit that village; had they caught us that evening, without our Vallaslin, they would not have known us to be Dalish. We could have been confused for Apostate Circle Mages and… she told me of the horrors in which we would have faced – in great detail, to scare us from ever wondering near a Shemlen village again.”

She paused for a few moments, as if reliving the memory. “I couldn’t stop thinking about that young Shemlen girl – the one whom her parents cried on that bench. My Keeper’s words had given imagines to my mind of what had happened to her – what the Templar’s did to her. It sent chills down my entire body and I have never forgotten that moment. Or, that it could have been me.”

Cullen lowered his head. He had nothing to say; that part of being a Templar, he hated it. It was wrong. He hated how much he had participated in that before. He felt sick picturing Ellana as young girl, being surrounded by Templars, and stuck down by their blades… he shook his head - he couldn’t think of that. 

“My second reason has developed since meeting… you.” He looked up at her with surprise. She slightly smiled, “I’ve heard small parts of what you’ve been through, caught glimpses of the pain you endure. I look into your eyes and can see the sleepless nights where terror wraps around you, pulling you into the past and keeping you from your future.” She placed a small hand onto his, “I can see the guilt you carry… when I tell you stories like that of the young girl. I think it is despicable what they do to men – what they did to you. I cannot side with a group who treats its people with such cruelness, with such disregard of life.”

She removed her hand, quickly, as if she hadn’t realized it was ever placed onto his. “And so this brings me to reason three… I would have said that the Mages need our help: they are being held against their will, bargained with under false pretenses and need our assistance to free them. We cannot refuse to help those who are hurting and in pain. However… all that I just described on how I see you and what being a Templar has done to you… well, I now see the Templars in a similar situation, I suppose. I see them as being held against their will… in a sense… and they too need our assistance for freedom. So that is why my final argument has been cancelled out.” 

Cullen was amazed; amazed that someone with such a right to have pure hatred for a group – a group that has caused immense pain to her kind – could… still have compassion for them, still want to help them. Would he be able to feel the same?

She looked at him, blue eyes wide with sorrow and pain: “I want to help them both, I truly do. But, I cannot. It’s not an option for us right now. I do not like it – it sickens me, actually – but I have to choose. And so, can you really ask me to turn my back on the Mages, to leave them stuck under that horrible man, and to choose the Templars? The men who… would have ripped me apart as a young girl with their blades – the men who still may?”

Cullen sighed. No, he could not ask that of her. 

He didn’t know what to say, but he knew that the Templars were no longer an option – and they should never have been an option. He did not like the idea of working with the Mages, but she was right: they couldn’t choose both. He should never have asked that of her… 

“Well,” he quietly whispered, “all the more reason you’ll need to learn to fight against men with shields and armor.” 

Ellana saw a slight smile spread across the Commander’s lips and she felt immense relief; he understood.

“Thank you, Cullen.” It was the first time she used just his name when addressing him. 

“Thank you, Ellana.” He responded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I have a fun little scene planned for the next chapter :) it will be up on Friday!


	8. Ellana's Sacrifice

Over the next two months, the Inquisition continued to expand their power: travelling to the Storm Coast and assisting with an increase of Darkspawn, closing rifts in Crestwood and revisiting the Hinterlands to lend more assistance to the refugees. The Inquisition was becoming well known and respected across Thedas. 

They decided it was time to approach the Mages.

Ellana travelled to Redcliffe with Dorian, Cassandra, Bull and Blackwall. She returned a few weeks later and the Advisors could instantly tell she had brought back more than just the Mages from that castle. Leliana, Cullen and Josephine could see the Elf carried newfound horrors, which slithered after her and haunted her dreams at night. Cullen recognized her empty gaze and the blackened bags on display during their War Room meetings the following weeks. 

Dorian shared a little information on what had happened in the time rift, however he was also in deep shock and found it difficult to discuss in great detail. The Advisors let it be, and trusted they would both recover in due time. 

Weeks later, the Harold had began showing improvements, yet she was still hurting and acting unlike herself – which is why all of the Advisors were worried when she came to them one evening and informed them of a nearby Dalish Clan who was camping for a while close to Haven. She wished to leave for a few days and visit their Camp: to be surrounded by familiarity and comfort. 

Leliana brought up her concern over the Harold running, yet Cassandra and Cullen strongly disagreed; they knew Ellana would not run. 

They were all a little tense and nervous when two weeks passed and Ellana had not yet returned. Cullen said he would go find the Dalish Camp and check in with Ellana to see how she was doing – simultaneously completing a “Harold-check-in” for Leliana. 

He set out one evening, fully expecting for the Elves to hear his approach with his loud armor. As he got closer to the Camp location, he heard sounds of music coming from the dense forest trees. He climbed up a small hill and upon reaching the top, could see the Dalish Clan below in an opening among the evergreens. 

Ellana was sitting with the rest of the Elves, surrounding a giant fire. Many of the Elves beat drums in unison; some had string instruments, which – when stroked – produced a lovely high sound. Cullen had never heard something like this before. 

He didn’t want to intrude and meant to turn away quickly, however there was something about this moment that held him firmly planted there and unable to leave. One of the Elves spotted him and tensed – Ellana noticed the Elf’s change in posture and turned to look in the same direction. She spotted Cullen and lightly smiled, before toughing the Elf’s arm and whispering something. The Elf relaxed and went back to staring at the fire. 

Ellana stood up and walked towards the center of the circle. She was swaying slightly with the music and her eyes were closed. 

All of a sudden, she began to sing in Elvish; her voice powerfully flowing along with the drumming and rising in her notes to a match the sound of a clear bell. She moved her hands within the air along to the melody and kept her eyes closed while she focused on the sounds. Cullen’s mind was pulled back to that evening in the tavern when he found her singing and swaying in a similar manner. 

The music was picking up and the hair on Cullen’s neck stood straight up. Ellana let out a long note, quiet at first and building its strength with the sound of the drumming, while she began to lift her hands towards the dark night sky and its stars. 

Cullen took in a sharp breath as her Vallaslin began to radiate light: slowly starting at her ankles and quickly rising up towards her fingertips as she hit the end of her note. He watched as the intricate lines of branches lit up over her entire being, creating a faint glow to emit from her body. 

She continued to sing, slowly walking around the circle of Elves – some of whom were bending forward on the ground as if to honor her. The light from her Vallaslin created a strong glow under her light tunic and Cullen could make out the entire form of her body. He suddenly regained control of his legs and turned around to leave, feeling as though he had intruded upon something very private and meant exclusively for the circle of Elves. 

He walked briskly back to Haven and directed a messenger to send word to Leliana: he had found the Harold and she was fine. Sitting in his tent, he couldn’t stop thinking about what he had watched at the Dalish Camp. He could tell the Harold wasn’t in danger but… what was that? 

Cullen grumbled as he found himself walking towards Solas’ tent. He wasn’t very fond of the Elf, but he was likely the only one who may have some sort of understanding about the night’s events. Cullen explained to Solas what he had witnessed and caught a look of surprise upon the Elf’s face before he quickly regained his usual look of composure. 

Solas explained that it was currently the season of Mythal – the Elven God of love, the Protector, the All-Mother. Ellana had chosen Mythal as the God to worship through her Vallaslin – which Cullen knew. 

“During the period of this – so-called – Elven God’s birth month,” Solas explained, “there are some Elves who claim to feel an increase of power or spiritual connection.” Cullen had witnessed an honorary ritual to Mythal and, much to the surprise of Solas, the acceptance of Ellana’s worship when Mythal’s power flew through her Vallaslin. It was exceptionally rare for this to happen and for a moment, Cullen caught Solas with a look of jealously upon his face. 

The next morning, Ellana returned to Haven. She thanked them all for allowing her some time with her people and appeared to be rejuvenated and restored to her old self. Cullen and Ellana never spoke of what happened the night before. 

**********************************************************************

A few weeks later, the Inquisition had gathered enough resources and information to have a solid plan of attack for their next move. Their soldiers were prepped and ready for battle. The Mages were ready. Ellana was rested and prepared for the challenge ahead – as were her companions. 

It was time. 

They were ready to seal with Breach. 

Walking towards the emerald green light plunging out from the sky, Ellana felt tiny trembles begin to take over her legs. 

‘What if I can’t do this? What happens to us if I fail?’ 

She looked around to the familiar faces surrounding her in that moment: Cassandra, Varric, Dorian, Bull, Blackwall, Cullen and the hundreds of soldiers he had recruited – even Solas and Sera had carved out a special place in Ellana’s heart these past months. 

The Mages – who had no reason to be standing at her side – were now risking their lives to protect a system that had only ever showed them cruelty and cast them down as less than equals. Now they stood: strong and ready beside Ellana, ready to close the Breach. 

Ellana cared so greatly for all of them. It was terrifying to imagine what would happen to them all… when her biggest fears came into reality: once they realized she wasn’t enough, realized that she couldn’t do this. 

The trembles began to rise from her legs and slowly took hold of her entire body. Slowly sinking into the ground, she could feel her shoulders cave in and suddenly breathing was a much more laborious task. 

She felt a hand slip into hers and looked up to see Dorian standing there, sensing her need for some encouragement in this moment. She smiled lightly at him before looking past his shoulder to see Cullen and his recruits standing on the other side of the light. 

Cullen stood there staring into her eyes, with a concerned look consuming his face. His left leg was placed in front of him and Ellana thought it looked as though he had been getting ready to run to her. She gave him a tiny smile, letting him know that she would be okay –relief washed over his face and he nodded back. 

She had to do this – failure wasn’t an option. She would not let all of these beautiful souls die. 

**********************************************************************

Back at Haven, cheers and cries of relief echoed throughout the Camp – it was over, they had done it.

Ellana looked across the campfire and saw Cullen standing against some crates, congratulating his soldiers and telling them to go enjoy their evening with a giant smile plastered on his face. 

‘Creators, he looks good.’ She thought to herself, while continuing to watch him. How was it possible for someone to be so attractive? He was everything that Elven men were not – everything that she would never have thought to be attractive: broad shoulders with toned, muscular arms, those beautiful eyes, which spilt secrets of his dark past, and his strength… Ellana sighed.

Why was she so drawn to him? Why was it that Elven men in the camp no longer held her interest? Or any other man, for that matter… Why was it that she couldn’t stop thinking about him; about straddling him – like that day on the battlefield – and feeling his strong hands firmly grab her hips while she bent down to lick that scar…

“We’re under attack!” 

Men screaming. Celebratory drinks cast aside. Panic. Fear. Blood spilt in the very spot where friends had been toasting their now slain comrades. 

“The Elder One is coming!” A young boy had showed up at the gates of Haven, warning of horror and hatred. “You took his Mages. He’s very angry that you took his Mages.”

Cullen was standing in the Chapel, helping the injured and elderly crowd into one of the back rooms. He wanted to get back out to the action but knew someone had to stay and bring order to the townsfolk crowded in the Chapel. He was desperately searching for someone to offload this task to and rejoin his allies outside who were fighting off the darkspawn and demons that now plagued Haven. 

He caught a glimpse of blonde hair rushing towards him – perfect, she would be safe in here and the people would listen to her. 

“Ellana!” he waved to get her attention.

She ran to him with a look in her eyes, which Cullen had seen only once before in his life. 

When he was a young boy, his uncle had taken him along for a hunt one afternoon and they encountered a wounded black wolf. Blood dripped from its matted fur; Cullen could tell it had just escaped from a prior battle and its wounds were too severe: the wolf was going to die. The creature dug it’s claws into the dirt and prepared itself for battle. Cullen could see in the wolf’s eyes, it knew it was going to die. It knew that it wasn’t going to survive this fight, but it readied itself regardless. It was to go down fighting. Cullen’s uncle told him that was to be respected, and they would give the creature a quick and painless death. 

Ellana had the look of the wounded wolf in her eyes. 

Cullen wanted to reach out and grab her, hold her tight and tell her to abandon whatever foolish thing she was preparing to do. She ran up to him and placed her hands on either side of his face. She lifted her head and gave him a lingering kiss on his cheek before whispering into his ear, “Stay strong with the lyrium. I know you can do this.” 

A soldier, who had taken an arrow to the chest, collapsed behind Cullen and screamed out in pain. By the time Cullen looked forward again, Ellana was gone. He saw glimpses of blonde hair sweeping around the corner and she disappeared into the night. He went to run after her when Cassandra yelled out his name for aid – she had been hit with a sword and a large gash was present on her shoulder. 

By the time Cullen finally learnt of Ellana’s plan to distract the Elder One and sacrifice herself, it was too late. They had already barred up the doors to the Chapel – Varric had lied to him, as per Ellana’s request, and told Cullen that she was already safe inside. When he demanded to be let outside and that he was going to save her, Bull had to practically pick him up and push him along the secret pathway that Roderick had shown them. He fought the entire way – pushing against Bull, trying to get back to Ellana, until he heard the sound of the trebuchet. 

He knew it was over. 

Ellana was gone. 

Cullen sunk down to the ground. Her death wasn’t quick. It wasn’t painless. She had sacrificed herself for all of them. 

In that moment, Cullen hated himself for failing her. She was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like (or at least don’t dislike!) the singing scene. I like the idea of Elven Gods having various months associated with them/their power and I also like the idea of the Dalish holding music and song close to their hearts. 
> 
> If you’re curious, there was a particular song that I had in mind for this scene and led to its inspiration. If you’re unfamiliar with Attack on Titan, its title will sound very odd. It’s YouSeeBIGGIRL by Hiroyuki Sawano. It fits perfectly with how I picture that scene playing out. Also… Attack on Titan is just an amazing show and its music is equally incredible :D I highly recommend it!


	9. You Saved Me

For the second time since leaving her Clan, Ellana woke up to find herself laying on her back in an unknown location – sore, stiff and confused. For the hundredth time since meeting the Inquisition members, she found herself surprised to still be alive. 

Ellana slowly lifted herself to a seated position. She remembered stalling the Elder One and managing to pull the final trebuchet. She had vague memories of falling down something – an empty well possibly? She couldn’t be sure. But, here she was: still alive. 

“Where exactly is here?” She spoke to herself, while glancing around her surroundings. It was some sort of ice cave and – Creators, it was cold. 

Ellana lifted herself up and began to walk towards the exit of the cave. Any hope that still remained within her heart was quickly demolished as she broke the cave’s exit and viewed the snowy, empty landscape that stood before her. She was so far away from where the others must have arrived. This wasn’t looking very promising… 

For hours, Ellana pulled herself through the ever-growing pile of snow. It rose to her hips at various dips within of the landscape, and required Ellana to use all of her strength to walk mere footsteps. Her fingers and toes were frozen; lips cracked and dry; frozen tears had dried on their fall down her face. 

Just as Ellana felt she had no more to give, a loud howl from her left put the fear of Fen'Harel in her heart. She looked over and began to laugh out loud to her Creators – surely they were playing a trick on her, for how could they be this cruel? A small pack of wolves stood staring at her: mouths salivating at their good fortune of finding fresh meat in this cold, empty wasteland. 

‘So this is the end. It was more than I expected…. I had more than I expected…’

Ellana used the last of her strength to summon a fire spell and sent it hurling towards the pack of wolves. It wasn’t likely to be enough for the entire pack, but it was all she had left. Before the spell reached the wild animals, Ellana’s eyes closed and she fell forward into the snow. 

*************************************************************************

Cullen sat around the fire with the others as the warm embers slowly began to thaw his frozen limps; inside, he remained numb. They were camped out a few hours away from Haven and would set out first thing tomorrow morning. Solas had shared the location of a new place where the Inquisition could settle and rebuild: Skyhold, he had called it. 

Cullen looked up at the rubble in the distance where they had been celebrating only a few mere hours ago and felt his stomach clench. She was in there, somewhere in the mess… her body… and they couldn’t get to her. Cullen felt completely useless. ‘What good is a Commander who cannot even protect his…’ 

Solas and Dorian lurched their heads up at the exact same moment and gave each other a startled look. 

“Her magic!” Dorian whispered and Solas nodded. “That was her magic!” Dorian jumped up from his seat. 

Moments later, Cullen was running through the field of snow with Dorian and Cassandra at his side towards the location where Ellana’s magic had been felt. 

Right before their departure, Solas had told Cullen that he could no longer detect Ellana’s presence. Her burst of magic had felt desperate and weak… it was not likely they would find her alive. Cullen did not care – she wasn’t buried under the rumble at Haven and that was enough for him: he was going to find her. 

Hours later, they noticed a dark smolder ahead in the snow, which looked like it could have been caused from magic. They ran up to find a group of deceased wolves, burnt to a crisp. 

“This was her!” Dorian confirmed. 

The snowfall here appeared to be continuous and the wolves were almost covered in a full layer of snow. If not for the remnant of Ellana’s fire spell, they would have been entirely engulfed by the snow at this point. Which meant… 

They all dropped to their knees and began frantically sorting through the snow. Moments later, Cullen’s gloves brushed away a batch of snow and found his fingers tangled with long, blonde strands of hair. 

They had found her. She was barely alive, but Dorian could feel light traces of her mana buried deep within. Cullen wrapped the small Elf in his furs and scooped her into his arms. He pulled her close and they began their run back to the Camp; he prayed that she would survive until the Healers could begin their work to save her. 

*************************************************************************

Ellana placed her second dagger into the strap on her back and slightly winced at the pain from her ribcage. They had been at Slyhold for two weeks now and she had spent the majority of time resting in bed. Today, she was determined to walk around the grounds and finally see what Skyhold looked like. The journey to the Castle had been a blur; Ellana blushed, recalling that Cullen had carried her for the majority of the trip. 

She slowly made her way around the site, visiting each of her companions and speaking with many of the refugees who had followed. The Inquisition’s numbers appeared to increase almost daily! More refugees and soldiers would show up at the gates and ask to join the Inquisition: it was incredibly heartwarming. 

On their second night in Skyhold, her advisors had gathered in her chambers to tell Ellana they had decided she would officially lead the Inquisition moving forward and the townsfolk had begun calling her the Inquisitor. Ellana told them all they were lucky she had several bruised ribs, or she would have stood up to kick their asses for that one. Weeks later, she realized it was useless… much like the last name, this one had stuck. There was no getting out of it now. 

Ellana saw Cullen down in the courtyard, reviewing paperwork, and she slowly made her way down the stairs to greet him. They spoke for a few moments about her healing progress, current supplies, how the soldiers were doing… all very formal. Ellana turned to leave and the Commander’s hand reached out to grab her. He was looking at her with such sadness and sincerity. 

“You stayed behind. You could have – I will not allow the events at Haven to happen again. You have my word.” 

Ellana felt Cullen’s fingers lightly squeeze her hand twice before he let go and walked back to his troops, returning to his mountain of paperwork. She glanced down at her hand and smiled. Had anyone ever conveyed so much without actually using words? He was an interesting man, the Commander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: When I was writing the scene with the wolves and they notice Ellana in the snow… I couldn’t help but picture them as the Uruk-hai going: “looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!” LMAOOO 
> 
> Short chapter, but I will have another one posted tomorrow! It’s my own scene and super cute: full of fun party banter and fluff :D


	10. A Drunken Night at the Tavern

Weeks later, Ellana was fully healed and preparing to depart the following morning for the Western Approach. It was a lengthy journey and she would be there for weeks, so she had decided it would be nice for the entire group to spend an evening together at the Tavern; drinking and enjoying each other’s company – something they had the opportunity to do so rarely. Even her Advisors agreed to join! Ellana was far too excited to see Josephine after a few drinks. 

She sat down at the end of the long table and glanced around at all of her dear friends: what a ridiculous group of individuals they all made, and a true force to reckon with. 

After more than a few shots, Dorian and Josephine were wasted and giggling together at the end of the table – their words quite incomprehensible at this point. Cole was sitting on the table, attempting to sort through the senseless chatter that filled their intoxicated minds. “I can’t understand,” he baffled and declared that he did not like the mysterious substance, which filled their cups. 

Solas was sitting at the end of the table and Ellana swore she could make out a tiny smile on his lips. He was, of course, the first to leave – but he had enjoyed a quarter of his pint before his departure. The others were amazed. 

Bull, Varric, Backwall and Sera were preparing for a drinking contest to see who could handle the most ale. Most around the table had placed bets on Bull pulling off the victory, which only led to a more determined Sera. 

Cassandra and Leliana were gathering mugs and more ale from the kitchen for the silly competition. 

Ellana was quite drunk herself – she hadn’t been drinking very often the last few months and her tolerance was quite low. A small hiccup escaped her lips and she started to giggle. 

She looked across the table to see the Commander kneading his neck with a look of pain on his face. ‘He’s always doing that,’ she thought to herself, ‘How much stress and tension he must hold...’ Ellana stood up and walked over to Cullen. His eyes followed her as she walked behind him and he raised an eyebrow to try and determine what it was that she had planned. Suddenly her fingers reached out and began to lightly massage the back of his neck. 

‘Maker’s Breath, that feels nice.’ Cullen was also a little drunk and closed his eyes – not really caring how it must have looked to the rest of their companions. It felt too nice. A large pop came from his neck and instant relief flooded him. She pulled her hands away from him and he felt crushed that it was over.

“There you go.” She patted his shoulder and sat down in Cassandra’s empty chair beside him. “You looked tense. Better?” she smiled at him.

“Commander! You in?” Bull pointed a large finger towards Cullen and then shifted it towards the bottles of liquor placed on the table. 

Sera burst out laughing, “Yeah right! Captain Fancy-pants isn’t gonna join us in this!” 

Ellana shoved her empty mug towards the table, “I’ll join!” she slurred, “fill me up.” 

Bull laughed, “Boss, sit this one out.”

Ellana crossed her arms, pouted and stuck her tongue out at them – which probably only proved Bull right: she was already wasted. 

“Not tonight.” Cullen smiled as he declined Bull’s offer. Sera triumphantly laughed while Varric and Bull held up their hands in disbelief. 

“Come on, Curly. Have some fun for once.” Varric insisted. 

“I’ll bet if the Boss keeps giving him a rubdown he’d do it.” Bull winked at Ellana. 

Ellana wanted to see the Commander let loose… “Oooooh, I’ll do that!” she jumped up and placed her hands on his shoulders. “You have to beat those smug little looks of their faces!” she pointed a finger at Sera and laughed as the feisty Elf pretended to snap down on it.

Cullen sighed and begrudgingly pushed his mug forward.

It was the perfect night, which all of them had truly needed. They sat around the table for the next few hours, drinking and taking turns telling ridiculous stories. Varric was the first to tap out, followed shortly by Blackwall. Sera was completely beyond recognition and had stopped using actual words a while ago, however she kept up with Bull and Cullen. It was impressive and terrifying. 

Ellana had been standing behind Cullen, massaging his neck and leaning over his shoulder a few times to shout at Dorian from across the table. Cullen was completely taken by the scent of her being so close. She smelt of fresh water lilies, jasmine and spindleweed; it left him feeling more intoxicated than the ale. 

After a while, she sat down in the chair beside him and scooted close, grabbing his arm and shouting words of encouragement – along with trash talking Bull and Sera. Hanging off him with one arm, she clumsily propped herself up on the table with the other and looked up at him with a goofy smile. 

“Are you secretly participating in this? Looking for a refill?” Cullen laughed and mentally calculated how much the tiny Elf had consumed over the night. 

She cocked her head to one side and continued staring at him with a grin on her face and glazed eyes. “…fill something other than my cup....” she giggled, “…why is your face so beautiful?” She pointed a finger at his nose. 

Cullen choked on his ale as the words left her mouth. He looked at her – fully knowing his face was likely the color of a beet. She was still staring at him, acting as though she had never said anything. ‘Maker help me… I – don’t think she’s realized she said that out loud.’ 

She gave his arm a slight tap with her hand before leaning in to say, “I should… go to bed. If I keep drinking, Commander, I’m –” a small hiccup, “definitely going to try and sleep with you tonight and –” she wobbled while starting to stand up, “although I very much enjoy the thought of that – ” another hiccup, “I probably shouldn’t.” She pouted and gave him a frown. 

“Seems how I’m to focus on saving the world and blah blah blah!” She stumbled towards the exit of the tavern and disappeared. 

Cullen withdrew himself from the drinking competition a few moments after Ellana left. He didn’t want to forget the events of tonight. Already, he found himself in slight disbelief that it had happened at all. 

*************************************************************************

The next morning, Cullen stood at the gates of Skyhold and watched as the Inquisitor and a few companions rode away towards the Western Approach. From her greeting that morning, he could tell she did not remember saying anything to him in the Tavern.

Cullen gulped a lump that had been forming in this throat. She was to be gone for several weeks. How had they left things like this? How was he to go almost two months before seeing her again and… replaying her words over and over in his mind. Did she really feel that way? Was it the ale? Is that something she wanted? 

Cullen hadn’t realized how badly he wanted it… until her words last night. Now, he couldn’t get the idea out of his head. 

Two months. 

Cullen shook his head. ‘Andraste, help me.’ It was to be a long two months.


	11. Indecent Proposal at the Ball

Ellana had barely entered the gates of Skyhold when one of Leliana’s agents sent word for an immediate meeting in the War Room. They had been traveling in the Western Approach for several weeks – Ellana was exhausted and was hoping for a soak in the tub before anything else. 

Not wanting to upset the Spy-Master, Ellana dismounted her horse and walked up the stairs towards the War Room. Her hair was disheveled, she had dried sand plastered to the side of her face, she spelt… well, she could only imagine how awful she smelt. Ellana stopped walking. Suddenly she was horrified that this would be the first time she saw the Commander in almost two months. Or rather, this was the first time he would be seeing her – like this. Smelling her… Fenedhis! 

All of her advisors were standing around the table when she finally opened the War Room door. She was typically positioned directly beside the Commander however, she really didn’t want him to smell her like this. Instead, she took a spot beside Cassandra – opposite the Commander. His brows furrowed and he gave her a confused look. She gave him a smile, hoping that he wouldn’t take offense to her new location.

Leave it to Cassandra – she scrunched her nose up before turning to Ellana, “Maker’s Breath! Inquisitor, you smell awful.” 

Ellana narrowed her eyes at the Seeker, “Thank you, Cassandra. I hadn’t noticed. I’ve only been walking around in the scorching hot sun for the last two months. Can’t imagine why I wouldn’t smell fresh as an embrium. Perhaps I had planned on a bath but apparently my presence was needed immediately and so, here I am.” 

Cassandra moved away from Ellana and closer to Josephine. Ellana hoped her sunburn was masking the embarrassment on her face. She refused to meet the Commander’s eyes. Creators – how she wished a Rift would open here in the War Room and suck her out of this moment. 

“Alright – let’s discuss the issue at hand.” Leliana placed a piece of paper on the table. “We have received an invitation from Lady Vivienne on behalf of Emperor Gaspard de Chalons. It seems the Winter Palace is throwing a ball and wishes to have the Inquisitor in attendance.” 

“A ball?” Ellana scoffed, “no thank you.” 

“Ah, Inquisitor – ” Josephine cut in, “this invite is a great honor. For the Inquisition to be recognized by the High Court so early, it is most important that we accept. We cannot humiliate the Emperor by turning down his invitation. It would place great… challenges in our future negations.” 

Ellana sighed. ‘Creators, a ball…’ A sickened noise escaped her lips but she turned to Josie and bowed her head in defeat. 

“Thank you, Inquisitor.” Josephine smiled, “you may find more enjoyment from this event than you anticipate. The Orlesian nobility are known for putting on quite the party.” 

“I said I’ll go Josephine, please do not act as though I will enjoy it.” Ellana began to leave and head towards that bath she had been wanting, “Or actually… should I go smelling like this?” 

Josephine looked mortified before realizing the Inquisitor was making a joke. 

As Ellana exited through the War Room doors she heard Josephine yell after her, “I have a dress on its way for you, it should be here in a few days!” Ellana cringed. ‘A dress?? Creators, where are those Rifts when you need one…’ 

A few weeks later, Ellana was stepping into the dress that Josephine had ordered for her. A serving girl had been helping Ellana with the lacing of the straps on her back, which held the dress up. She stepped in front of the mirror and looked at herself with a bit of a gasp – she looked very different and almost didn’t recognize herself. 

The dress was entirely black, strapless and had an open back with cross-stitching of black laces that sucked her in and left her with slightly difficult time in breathing. “All in the name of style!” Josephine had told her when she informed that it was too tight. It was essentially a corset on the top. Long, flowing layers of black chiffon flowed out from the waistline to produce an A-line gown. The dress was incredibly soft – it felt like silk on Ellana’s body. 

She wore her hair in a half up-do, with her long locks flowing down her back. Black jewels had been tucked into her hair – a ridiculous touch, Ellana thought. Josephine had done her make-up and put several layers of black kohl liner around her eyes. They emphasized the bright blue and, even Ellana would admit, it looked stunning. Josephine had done a very good job with the dress and the make-up.

Ellana picked up the last piece of her ‘armor’ for this evening – a mask. Why everyone at Orlais wore one of these, Ellana had no idea. It was “mandatory” Josephine had said. Ellana’s mask was black – to match her dress – decorated with tiny black jewels and feathers around the corners. She took a deep breath in and steadied herself: time for the Ball. 

Ellana stepped out of the inn and saw her advisors standing in the hallway, waiting for her arrival. Josephine and Leliana were in beautiful dresses; Cassandra was in a deep blue formal suit; and then Ellana saw Cullen. 

Ellana felt her heart skip a beat when she first laid eyes on him. He wore a red suit with gold embellishments and a blue sash across the front. Upon further inspection, the buttons on his suit were tiny gold lion heads – an homage to his crest. And Creators, was Ellana ever inspecting him; she couldn’t take her eyes off him. It looked as though he was experiencing something similar, as his mouth had slightly parted at the sight of Ellana and he too stood there frozen, continuing to stare.

Leliana’s voice disrupted Ellana’s train of thought, “Let’s move, shall we?”

Ellana was fully prepared to dislike the atmosphere at the Winter Palace and feel incredibly out of place, and yet she felt somewhat taken back by just how strongly she disliked the Winter Palace and felt out of place. Every step she took garnered a new whisper of “there’s the Elf!” to “Why did Gaspard invite her?” Ellana swore she heard a lady whisper about knife-ears and that she should be with the rest of the serving Elves downstairs. It was infuriating. She was regretting showing up here – alliances be damned, why would the Inquisition want to work with people like this?

Cassandra’s hand rested on Ellana’s shoulder and she gave her a sympathetic smile, “I too dislike any second that I spend in a place like this. Let’s get this over with.”

The four of them walked into the main ballroom and a servant called out their names upon entrance. Everyone in the room had already noticed the Inquisitor’s presence and yet they still made little gasps when her name was called. ‘Is everything for show here?’ Ellana wondered. 

Lady Vivienne approached them shortly upon their arrival and thanked them for coming to the Winter Palace. She mentioned an interesting proposition that the Emperor had for the Inquisition and that she would visit them in the morning before their departure, “for now is not the time to talk business, my dear.” She had declared before walking away.

“What could she want?” Ellana turned to her advisors.

“Lady Vivienne is most close to Emperor Gaspard. She is… she is his…” Leliana searched for the correct words.

“His mistress.” Cassandra finished.

Ellana’s eyes grew a little wider, “So she’s to be the future Empress, then?”

Cullen laughed and shook his head. “No. She’s to remain what she is. Gaspard uses people – that’s what he does. In marriage, he cares far too much about public opinion.”

Josephine cut in and lowered her voice – they were all speaking a little too loudly for her liking, “Gaspard is certainly more flamboyant that previous Emperors and there is a chance he would look past Lady Vivienne being a Mage however, she does not bring enough power for him to entertain the idea of marriage. Let’s spread around and try to enjoy ourselves… I am very interested to see what Lady Vivienne will be sharing tomorrow.”

Ellana walked around the ballroom and looked around at all of the people here. They all looked like they were enjoying themselves, yet Ellana could feel that no one was really enjoying themselves. This place was horrible; it was stuffy and much too formal for her liking. She didn’t seem to fit in anywhere here. The serving Elves were terrified of her and had been avoiding her all evening to the point of having difficultly in obtaining a drink! The guests found it insulting that a Dalish Elf – or a Mage, Creators knows which they found more offensive – was invited here. 

She stood there and watched as a young man walked up to Josephine and asked her to dance – she accepted. Another young man asked Leliana to dance – she too, accepted. Glancing around for Cassandra, she noticed the Seeker was nowhere to be seen. Ellana jealously realized she must have escaped and stepped outside for some air. 

Ellana didn’t want to dance – she especially didn’t want to dance with any of these men… but it did hurt a little as she watched all of the Shemlen women be whisked off their feet by a constant flow of suitors. No one was asking Ellana to dance. No one wanted to dance with a knife-eared Mage. 

‘Why am I here?’

*****************************************************************************

Cullen stood at the edge of the room and watched Ellana, as she watched Josephine and Leliana head off to the dance floor. He felt for her – she was completely out of her comfort zone and did not fit in here. Cullen had dreaded their arrival at Winter Palace. He knew Gaspard had invited the Inquisition for some self-serving, twisted purpose. Cullen feared this was the Court’s attempt to delegitimize the Inquisition, to embarrass the Inquisitor: what did Gaspard think would happen when she came here? A row of nobles lining up to shake her hand and chat? He hated seeing her like this, cast aside and ignored. It was ridiculous – she was the most beautiful creature in this room. 

Cullen slightly cringed at the thought of what he should do… Maker’s Breath he hated dancing. Another look at the tiny Elf and his heartstrings had him walking towards her, even though his legs wanted to remain planted.

“Inquisitor,” he held out a hand in her direction, “May I have this dance?”

A small smile formed on Ellana’s lips and she lightly laughed, “Commander, I know what you are doing – and it is very kind – but unnecessary. I do not mind that no one asks me to dance, it is what I expected.” 

Her words weren’t fooling him and he remained standing there with his hand extended. She rolled her eyes at him, smiled once more and finally reached out to grab his hand, allowing him to lead her to the dance floor. 

When they found a place among the many nobles, they settled into the position. Cullen hesitated on placing his hand on her waist and Ellana looked up at him with a smile in her eyes, “Having second thoughts?” She winked. 

While blushing, he placed his hand down and she moved closer towards him. Cullen could feel the warmth from her body on his own and he began to lose himself once more in her scent. They began dancing. 

Cullen had been terrified of making an absolute fool of them both, yet he was surprised at how easy it was to lead Ellana around the dance floor. She was so graceful – her heels glid across the floor and she followed his lead as they danced around the chamber. The music began to pick up and he took a chance by twirling the Inquisitor outward before pulling her back in and leaning into a dip. Her long hair whirled around her body as she spun and almost graced the floor, as he held her dipped. She smiled at him and they heard a few claps among the room. He brought her back up and replaced his hand on her lower back this time; their eyes were locked and she had placed her arm around his neck. 

‘Maker’s Breath.’ For a moment, Cullen felt like he was falling in love with her dreamlike gaze and heavenly smile placed before him. How overwhelming her presence was to all those she encountered. Cullen had watched as the townsfolk, their companions – and truly, everyone – that Ellana encountered, fell in love with her. She was warm, charming, genuine, caring; she was perfect. 

He found her to be perfect. 

A tap on Cullen’s shoulder pulled him from his trance and reminded him of where they were. Ellana’s face looked startled. He turned to see who had tapped his shoulder and froze: it was the Emperor himself, Gaspard. 

“My dear Inquisitor, may I have this next dance?” He directed towards Ellana. She glanced at Cullen with nervous energy spilling from her eyes, asking him for direction on how to proceed. 

Cullen didn’t know how to proceed. He felt Ellana break away from his hold and watched as Gaspard replaced him as her partner. She flashed him a concerned look as he began to retreat from the dance floor.

While walking back up the stairs towards the awning, Josephine grabbed his arm and whispered, “What in Andraste’s name is going on! Why is the Inquisitor dancing with the Emperor? What did he say?!” 

Cullen shrugged his shoulders, “He asked her to dance.”

“That is all?” Josephine pressed on, “He didn’t say anything else?”

“No.” Cullen watched as the Emperor and Inquisitor began dancing. They had the attention of the entire room. Cullen felt uneasy – why was Gaspard doing this? 

Why did he have to interrupt them… 

Cullen remained tense until he watched Gaspard pull back and bow to Ellana at the end of their dance. She quickly turned and began walking towards her advisors.

“Inquisitor, details!” Josephine whispered as soon as Ellana reached them.

Her face was pale and Cullen could tell her brow was wrinkled under her mask. “He… I don’t know, that was very odd. Can we talk in private?”

The four of them left the ballroom and found a private balcony that could shield them from preying eyes and ears of the court for a few moments.

Ellana let out a held breath before taking off her mask, “Creators, I dislike this place. I don’t know where to begin.”

“Inquisitor?” Leliana pressed.

“He – well, we started dancing. So many compliments were coming my way, I was preparing for him to lay out the favor in which I assumed was the true reason we were called here in the first place. Near the end of the dance, he began discussing the Inquisition’s progress and how… admirable our short rise to notability has been.”

Cullen tensed; he didn’t like the sound of this.

“He… began discussing how Orlais could benefit from such an ally. How traitors were always plotting to grasp the Court from him… how having the Inquisitor at his side would, discourage those who wished to oppose him.” She scrunched up her nose. “I don’t know how serious he was in this however… he suggested that we… marry… to join forces and align our armies.” 

All mouths dropped open at her words. Cullen’s hand involuntarily tightened to fists, “The nerve of this man!” 

Ellana turned to him, “I don’t know if he was serious. It was almost thrown at me as a joke?” She shivered, “It was awful. I want to leave – can we please go back to the inn?” 

Before Josephine could argue, Cullen reached out to place his hand on Ellana’s back and began walking her towards the entrance. This was ridiculous of Gaspard. 

‘Marriage! What a foolish… he does not deserve…’ Cullen’s heart raced with anger towards Gaspard. He would have liked nothing more than to walk over to the smug man’s face and send his fist hurling towards it. 

Later that evening, he had watched Ellana retreat to her room and began heading back to his own. Gaspard was a foolish man to think the Inquisitor would be interested in his proposition. Is this what his Mistress wanted to discuss? ‘Ridiculous,” he scowled. As he sat upon his bed, removing his gloves and preparing for rest, he found himself wondering the cause for such anger. Was he angry with Gaspard for throwing such an appalling request on his leader - the Inquisitor? 

Or, was he angry with the fact that another man had… pictured that life with Ellana – his Ellana. Cullen grimaced; she wasn’t his Ellana. He did however, feel satisfaction over knowing that she wouldn’t be Gaspard’s either. 

The next morning, as promised, Lady Vivienne visited the Inquisition members at the inn. When Ellana told her she had already received the Emperor’s proposal and she was certainly not interested in hearing anymore, Cullen noticed a quick tinge of shock and sadness on the Mage’s face – she had not known of Gaspard’s discussion with Ellana. 

Vivienne quickly recovered and told them Gaspard wished for her to join the Inquisition at Skyhold and provide assistance to their cause: as an olive branch from Orlais and to show good faith in any future partnerships. 

Ellana wanted to refuse the offer, however Josephine – once again – talked her into accepting. They would keep a close eye on Lady Vivienne… until they felt more comfortable placing trust in her. 

Ellana, Cullen, Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine began the journey back to Skyhold – exhausted, bewildered at last evening’s events, and anxious to return home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the purpose of this story, Gaspard was always the Emperor. Celine is still alive and will come into play much later... I also thought it would be fun to introduce Vivienne in this way and I have a plan, which ties it all together...
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	12. The First Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically all fluff and minor smut :D

The morning after their return to Skyhold, Ellana was walking through the castle halls as she heard the Commander call her name from behind. 

“Good Morning, Commander.” She smiled, recalling his reaction to Gaspard. If Ellana didn’t know better, it looked like jealousy had spread across his face the prior evening. 

“Inquisitor, I wanted to discuss your training. It’s been a while since we’ve had a session; the weather is perfect today, are you up for it?”

Cullen had been training Ellana over the last few months on how to spar with armored soldiers. It was exhausting work, although Ellana greatly appreciated his advice and could tell it was paying off when she encountered Red Templars in the field. On their first session, Cullen had stated his one rule: no magic. She was to learn to fight the Red Templars on strength, alone. Ellana agreed.

She went to retrieve her daggers and met Cullen in the back of the castle on the open field that had been functioning as their training zone. Cullen was already in his armor and initiated the fight as soon as she arrived. ‘All business today, I see.’ 

She dodged his sword as it nearly caught a portion of her hair and paused to give him an angry glare. “Watch the hair, Cullen.” 

“Not going to work on a Red Templar, Ellana.” He swung at her again with his sword, barely missing the end of her long braid. 

What was going on with him today? He seemed angry. “Have I done something to upset you?” 

He paused and gave her a confused look. “What?”

“You’re acting angry. Have I done something?”

He dropped his shield and placed his sword back in its sheath. “Maker, no.” He walked closer to her and placed his hands on her arms. “I…worry about you, out there with them – the Red Templars. You’ve come far and have made great progress but – I still worry. I just want to prepare you.”

Ellana placed her hand on his arm and dropped her head slightly. ‘Okay, I understand.’ He was right – she had been putting off training and still feared their encounters with the Red Templars. Their silencing ability terrified her – she was thankful to never have experienced it, yet. 

“Well…” Ellana secretly grabbed her blade with her other hand and quickly drew it towards the Commander while saying to him, “I thought my tactics wouldn’t work on a Red Templar.” She winked.

It didn’t work; Cullen blocked it. He looked amused – proud, even – and grabbed his sword. They went right back to it. 

Several minutes later, Ellana was exhausted. Cullen wasn’t taking it easy on her – he was coming at her with all of his strength. Dodging his attacks was taking a drain on her energy and she knew that she wouldn’t last much longer. He was right – she needed to be taking this more seriously. But, she also really didn’t feel like losing today. 

“Cullen,” she called out, “I’m too tired. I can’t do any more today – can we pick this up again tomorrow?”

He shook his head at her as he placed his sword back in its sheath, “You do realize in battle you’re not going to be able to – ”

He was distracted and hadn’t noticed her running towards him with a devious grin on her face. She used her left foot to loop around and hook behind his right ankle. She kicked his leg forward and he went falling down onto his back. She threw herself on top of him and pulled a small knife from her glove before holding it to his neck. She grinned at him, “Well well, this feels familiar.”

“Ellana! You have to stop… doing that.” His face reddened. That seemed to be his reaction to a lot of things she did – especially when she was sitting on top of him like this. 

Ellana dropped the knife and placed it on the ground beside him. She went to move and begin lifting herself up when his hands reached out and grabbed onto her hips; it sent chills from her lower back to the top of her spine. She looked back at him and saw him staring at her, eyes foggy and lips slightly parted. His hands held her firmly, stopping her from moving. 

Ellana’s hands were planted on the ground around both sides of his head. She slowly lowered herself to her forearms and tried to quiet her heart as her face moved mere inches apart from his. She was too scared to move – unsure if he wanted her to continue getting closer or if she should pull away. He was just staring at her. 

“Cul – ”

He cut her off by lifting his lips to hers and suddenly, he was kissing her. 

And creators, it was a kiss. The kiss. Ellana had never had one like this before. Instantly, it was a kiss full of hot passion: their mouths devouring each other. She grabbed the side of his neck and pulled him closer. She could feel his fingers starting to knead at her hips, his grip tightening around her waist as he pulled her farther down onto him. She felt movement in his groin and moaned into his mouth without breaking their lips. 

After pulling back for a quick breath of air, she leaned back in and bit the bottom of his lip while lightly tracing her tongue over it. She felt his fingers flinch on her hips – he hadn’t been expecting that. He caught her in another kiss, bringing her face level to his again. She ran her fingers through his hair and began slightly moving her hips up and back on him. He groaned and threw his head back, eyes closed. Creators, she wanted him. Wanted him like this but without these layers of clothing… wanted to place her lips over his body, to feel his hot breaths all over hers. 

A loud firetrap blazed and shot off in the distance – a practice run of the Skyhold Mage recruits. It snapped Cullen back into the present moment and he quickly shifted her off of him and stood up, rubbing his eyes with his hands. 

“Inquisitor, I’m – ” he looked mortified, “I apologize. That was, that was foolish of me. I should never have – ”

“Cullen.” She reached towards him but he backed away. She was hurt and it showed in her face. 

He walked towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders, “I just – here, where I should be training you and instead I’m – ” Ellana watched as he dropped the Commander mask and slipped back into just being Cullen. He smiled at her, “You’ve no idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.”

She leaned in towards him, “Did we kiss? I can’t remember. Maybe we should try it again…”

He chuckled and pulled her close before placing another kiss upon her lips: a sweeter one, this time. He tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear and stroked her cheek with his thumb before smiling and slowly walking away. 

Ellana looked back at the battleground where she had just been laying on top of him. ‘Did that really just happen?’ 

**************************************************************************

Later that afternoon, Cullen stood before a group of new recruits demonstrating the basics of sword fighting and proper stance. The amount of new soldiers and mages that showed up every week was incredible – also a bit alarming. They had developed a fairly sound approach in training: organizing the recruits into advancement levels and rotating instructors among the various groups. Fiona and some of her senior members had taken over training for the Mage recruits. It was organized but Maker, there were a lot of them. The Inquisition’s army was growing at quite an alarming rate. 

Many of the soldiers were ex-Templars who had decided to follow Cullen in his pursuit of walking away from the Templar life. Some of them remained on Lyruim, while others had begun the slow journey of getting off it. Cullen had been quite nervous of having Mages and ex-Templars training along side each other, but it had been surprisingly fine. It likely helped for the recruits to see Cullen working so closely with Fiona and Dorian. Also, him and Ellana…

Cullen’s mind slipped back to that morning’s training session with Ellana. In no way had he anticipated their session ending with – with that. Maker, he both regretted his actions and felt relief that something had finally broken the unbearable tension. It surprised him that he was the one to finally initiate something. He swallowed a lump in his throat; it was a little unnerving on how to act in her presence moving forward.

Cullen knew that his feelings for the Inquisitor were starting to go beyond pure desire and physical attraction. Yes – he wanted her, physically but… he cared for her, greatly. Every time he watched her ride off to a new location, with its unknown horrors and knowing that the Red Templars were out there searching for her, it made his heart falter. How he wished that he could join her on every outing; how he wished that he could protect her. 

He was however, quite confident that Ellana’s feelings for him stopped at the physical part – which hurt. He was sure that she did not return his feelings. She was attracted to him – he could tell that was true – but he was still a former Templar. The Inquisitor couldn’t feel anything past desire for a man like him, and thinking otherwise would be foolish. 

He glanced back at the recruits and noticed they had become very sloppy in their footing and some had ceased practice all together. ‘What in Maker’s name!?’ 

“Are we to save Thedas by standing around and relaxing?” he barked at the recruits. That was when he noticed a large portion of them had been staring off into the distance behind him. 

Cullen turned around and quickly realized what had been distracting his recruits. The Inquisitor. Ellana. 

She was on one of the higher levels of the castle doing – Cullen wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing. She was – stretching, possibly? She stood straight with her arms lifted towards the sky, eyes closed and bending slowly towards the left and then the right. She was dressed in light fabrics – “It’s for mobility!” Cullen could hear her voice in his head. She bent down at the waist, while her legs remained straight and placed her hands on the ground. Slowly, she moved one of her legs back until she reached the ground, her legs in a front split. 

Cullen’s mouth dropped open a little; he found himself surprised at just how flexible she was. Sweet Andraste how he was enjoying watching her like this. She shifted to open her legs to a front split and placed her forearms on the ground, moving her forehead close to the ground before it gently laid upon her fingers. Cullen’s fist tightened – he wanted to run up there and wrap her legs around him while he explored in what other areas she could surprise him with her reach. 

His heart was beating fast and nearly jumped out of his chest when one of the recruits dropped a sword on the ground, making a loud clang on the cobblestone. Cullen cringed as he realized that he was no better than the young recruits: drooling over the Inquisitor when he should be training them. He quickly pulled himself together and told the soldiers that the next one to appear distracted would be sent up to explain themselves to the Inquisitor, herself. That put the fear of Andraste in them and Cullen didn’t have any further issues with their focus and hard work. 

Cullen needed someone to make a similar threat to himself – maybe it would keep his mind from constantly drifting to thoughts of her.

**************************************************************************

Ellana stood up and looked down upon Cullen and the recruits. His presence wasn’t entirely the reason she chose this spot for her afternoon stretching… it did have a lovely breeze here and a beautiful view of the mountains. She had caught him staring at her a few times however, and it brought a smile to her lips every time. 

She began walking back to her chambers and gave Solas a small nod when passing through the room in which he frequently mulled over books and quietly sipped tea. They had developed an odd sort of friendship over the last few months – a quiet one. They rarely spoke, but he had given her some great advice over their journey. She placed a degree of trust in him, especially when matters of Elven wellbeing were at stake, such as her decision to side with the Mages and determine their level of training. She was quite surprised when he called out to her before she exited the room.

“Lavellan.” 

She turned around and walked over to one of plush chairs, sitting down. “Solas. How are you?” 

He continued the conversation in Elven, which was something that happened frequently. “The time you spend with him grows more and more. You carry his scent, Lavellan.”

Ellana furrowed her brow. She knew exactly of whom he spoke. This wasn’t any of his concern. “And you speak of this to me because…?”

“For your safety. You are fond of him; have become tethered to him – unseeing who he is. A Templar.” He leaned forward towards her. “He may not call himself that, but it is what he is. You lessen yourself for him.”

Ellana narrowed her eyes at Solas. “You know not of what you speak. And I reiterate, tis’ not a concern of yours.”

Solas leaned back and kept his gaze upon her strong. After a few moments, she prepared to leave when he finally spoke again. “Your training – does he allow you to use your magic?

“The entire point is to fight without the use of my magic, Solas.” She scoffed. “To fight against the Red Templars. You do recall their ability to silence, correct?”

“You did not correct me in my use of words: does he allow. The Lavellan of several months ago would have been furious in my suggestion of him allowing you to do anything.”

Ellana’s face reddened. “That’s a cheap blow, Solas. He does not allow or disallow me to do anything. You were speaking of my use of magic and that is how I answered you. Do not continue to press me on this, I do not like what you are suggesting.”

“Do you truly believe that? The reason for his claim of not using magic – is it solely to prepare you for the Red Templars? Yes – it is a magnificent cover, but do you believe it is his only reason? Does he trust you? Does he trust your magic? What would happen if you used it against him in battle? Would he remain your sweet, gentle Commander – or would you finally see Cullen the Templar stand before you?” 

Ellana was furious. She stood up and quickly walked away from Solas, charging into her room. The nerve of that Elf! Ellana sat down on her bed and released her fists, which had been clenched for the last several minutes. She was so upset with Solas. She was upset with herself, for being unable to say anything back to his last argument. She was also a little upset with Cullen; for she wasn’t entirely sure that Solas was incorrect in the last thing he said. Ellana had never considered using magic against Cullen in their training sessions. When she thought of how Cullen was likely to react… she was nervous. He didn’t seem comfortable being around magic. Ellana wasn’t sure that he did trust her enough for that to happen – which frustrated her, a lot. 

She was mostly upset with herself for not thinking about this beforehand. How had she not worried about Cullen’s thoughts regarding her being a Mage? He rarely saw her in battle, where she employed her magic. They spent most of their time training in combat skills. Would he still look at her the same when he watched her wield magic? 

Ellana cursed Solas; she cursed herself and she cursed Cullen. This was not how she wanted her afternoon to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ll be entering into the Second Arc for this story in the next chapter!! I have some really exciting things planned and will be updating the description as well. 
> 
> Ahh I can’t wait to share and I hope you’ll enjoy! Going very off script from Inquisition :) 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	13. Adamant Fortress Goes Wrong

Ellana had planned on speaking with Cullen the next morning, however she was pulled into an immediate War Room meeting following breakfast.

Varric had been meeting with various contacts to find information on where the remaining Grey Wardens had disappeared. He had finally found something: the Grey Wardens had gathered in Adamant Fortress. Warden-Commander Clarel was about to start a blood magic ritual in an ignorant attempt to end what they considered a new blight, and time was running out: if they wanted to reach Clarel and the Grey Wardens, the Inquisition would have to leave immediately. 

Nearly everyone dropped what they were doing and instantly departed for Adamant Fortress. Cullen led their large force of soldiers to assist with the entry to the Fortress and clear out the lower level of demons. Ellana rode in the front with the rest of her companions. 

***********************************************************************

Hours later, Ellana horrifically watched as Corypheus’ dragon swooped down and ate Clarel in one gulp. Ellana was trapped at the end of a ledge with Cassandra, Dorian, Solas, and Varric’s contact – Hawke; they were at a dead end, with nowhere to turn. The dragon inched forward, sending deep reverberations through the old stone fortress with every step. Cracks started to form and before Ellana could turn around to grab hold of her companions, they were falling down towards the rubble that lay miles below them on the ground. She panicked and held out her hand, which opened a rift; the five of them fell in.

Ellana woke up and felt incredibly dizzy. It felt as though her entire body was being pulled in a different direction; the fibers of her being wanted to stretch apart. She felt familiarity and discomfort at the same time. It was disorienting. 

“Where are we?” She looked around to make sure everyone else was all right – they were. 

Solas stated his belief that they were in the Fade and the second the words left his lips, Ellana knew it to be true – she could feel it. They were in the Fade: physically. It didn’t make any sense. 

“And how exactly are we to get out of the Fade?” Dorian turned towards Solas. 

They all felt their stomachs drop a little when Solas didn’t have an answer for them. Solas had an answer for everything; when he didn’t, it was terrifying. 

The group started to walk towards the open path before them and Ellana began to fear the worst. ‘What if we don’t get out of here? Have I killed us all by bringing us here?’ They would have died if they crashed to the ground with the rest of the tower’s ledge but she still felt awful that this is where she had brought them. This felt like it was all her fault. ‘And what if I don’t return from this?’ She cringed, remembering how she had left things with Cullen. 

At the entrance of Adamant, he had reached out to grab her hand before she ran off into the chaos and fighting. She was still upset over what Solas had said to her the previous evening, and so she pulled her hand back as he reached out for her. His eyes looked so sad, she could tell that he was confused and hurt over her reaction. She figured they would have time to talk after saving Clarel and the Grey Wardens, so she left it at that and turned around to leave. 

That was the last she saw of him before… this. ‘What if I never see him again? Creators, what a fool I am.’ She glared over at Solas before realizing that she shouldn’t be directing her anger towards him. Solas was wrong – and he was an idiot – but she knew he was well intended. She should have just spoken with Cullen; told him what was on her mind. She should have kissed him again, reached back for him, anything. Why hadn’t she? 

Ellana sighed. It was because she was scared. She was scared to speak with Cullen about this; scared to find out that maybe Solas was… correct. Did Cullen trust her? She hated the idea of Cullen as a Templar and often wondered what he was like back then. 

“What are those?” Cassandra’s voice pulled her from her thoughts. 

Large green bubbles were floating around just ahead of their current location. They released a hazy light and Ellana felt compelled to get a better peak, she found herself walking towards one of them. 

There was a strange energy coming from one of the bubbles, it felt like… how did it feel like him? Cullen…

“Yes – follow the light, girl.” Corypheus’ voice spoke to her from the green light. ‘This is a trap,’ she thought, and yet she could not stop walking towards the bubble. 

“Ellana, dear. Why are you getting so close to it?” Dorian called out.

She knew it was a trap and wouldn’t fall for whatever Corypheus was planning... she just wanted to get… a closer look… Forms and shadows in the bubble began to create images and Ellana’s eyes widened as she caught a glimpse of Cullen within the sphere. Except, it wasn’t Cullen, but it was… he was younger….

“Cullen, why are you…” Ellana leaned closer to the light. 

“I have a memory for you.” Corypheus’ voice whispered. “Look closer, girl. Fear prepared this one, just for you.”

“Fear…Cullen?” Ellana was in a complete trance. She moved her face closer to the sphere and suddenly the green light exploded and she felt herself being pulled in. She couldn’t tell where she was or any direction – was she spinning? Then she crashed onto the ground.

She looked around and found herself to be in an open field with a large castle-like tower in the nearby distance. ‘Where am I?’ She began to lift herself from the ground as loud voices called out and four Templars came running over to surround her.

“Identify yourself! Why are you outside the Tower? How did you get out here? Answer me! Now, Mage!”

Ellana gave the man a bewildered look. “W – what? Outside of the Tower? I don’t know what you’re talking abo – ”

The man in front of her lifted his hand towards Ellana and all of a sudden it felt like the air had been pushed out of Ellana’s lungs. ‘Wha – what is…’ She couldn’t breath. It lasted for a few moments before the air returned, however Ellana felt completely exhausted. Her legs wobbled and she fell to the ground. That was… silencing. She had never felt that before – it was horrible! Why in Creator’s name had this Templar used it on her?

The Templar laughed and turned to his friends, “You saw her – she was about to cast a spell… right?” He winked. Two of the other Templars laughed, while the one behind Ellana remained quiet. 

“I – I don’t know where I am, but I do not belong to the Circle. I am a Da – ” Ellana gasped for air, “a Dalish Mage. My Vallaslin – the markings on my face. I do not belong to your Circle.”

“Dalish Mage?” The Templar laughed, “I don’t see no markings.” 

“What?” Ellana glanced down at her arm and felt complete shock when she saw no trace of her Vallaslin. She grabbed at her face, knowing that it was likely to be gone from there as well. What was this place? What was going on? 

The Templar signaled to his colleagues and they began to walk towards Ellana, before grabbing onto her arms. 

“Wait! No – please, listen to me. I’m not part of the Circle! I don’t know where I am but I’m, I’m not – ” one of the Templars punched her in the face and laughed as she began to tremble. 

The Templar behind her gathered her wrists behind her back and wrapped them together with cloth material. When the job was finished, he walked into Ellana’s view and her heart stopped: it was Cullen. He was young, much younger… and he was in Templar armor. 

Ellana’s entire body went cold as she realized what memory she had fallen into and where she now stood.

She was at the Circle Tower at Kinlock Hold – back when Cullen was a young Templar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on getting the next chapter up quickly :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!


	14. Trapped in Kinloch Hold

Ellana woke up later that day in an unfamiliar bed. She looked around the room and found herself to be in a sort of communal bedroom – rows of single beds were placed along the room. 

“Ah – you are awake.” An older man walked towards Ellana, “My name is Irving and I am the First Enchanter here. You have caused quite the confusion this morning, for none of us can recall who you are. Tell me dear, what is your name?”

“My name is Ellana Lavellan and I am of the Lavellan Dalish Clan. I do not remember how I arrived here but I’ve been mistakenly brought in as a Circle Mage and I need to get out of here.” Ellana did indeed recall how she arrived, but thought it best not to speak of coming from the future and glowing green bubbles. 

Speaking of green… the Mark! Ellana quickly glanced down at her hand to notice the mark was gone. Fenedhis! 

Irving game her a smile and did not comment; he clearly didn’t believe her story, as the Templars had likely told him of her outlandish claims. 

Eventually, he spoke: “The Knight-Commander is deliberating on what to do with you. Until a decision has been made, you are to remain here in the Tower and are free to roam the first floor. I have asked one of our senior Mage, Wynne, to meet with you this morning and answer any questions you may have.” With that, he left.

Ellana sat on the end of the bed and stared at the empty cots that surrounded her. What an awful way to live. Crammed into a room, kept locked up in a tower with these Shem Templars and never learning to hunt. It was the complete opposite of Ellana’s upbringing. 

It wasn’t long before an older woman entered the room carrying a long robe and walked over to Ellana with a kind smile on her face. “Good Morning, Ellana. Irving told me that you have awoken and may be interested in hearing more about this floor and where you are allowed to travel?” She handed the robe to Ellana, “First, could you please go into the dressing room around the corner and get changed into your robe?”

Ellana grimaced; the robe was hideous. She didn’t want to start picking fights over clothing however, so she quickly grabbed the robe and went to get changed. When she was done, Wynne motioned for her to join her as she exited the bedroom. They stepped out into a long hallway with rows of doors on either side – still no other Mage, Ellana noticed. 

“Ah, you’re likely wondering where everyone else is?” 

Ellana nodded.

“Until Knight-Commander Greagoir has made a decision on what to do with you, he has isolated the other students here to the other side of this floor. Those doors have been locked, but you are free to roam this side of the floor. I hope you’ll understand – he just didn’t want to expose the other students to anything until we have more information on who you are and where you’ve come from.”

Again, Ellana nodded. While Wynne showed her around the various rooms and told her of the Circle’s history, Ellana was furiously scanning every room for information, an opening, any hint to how she would get out of this awful place. She couldn’t find anything that looked even slightly useful. She picked up that the door which led to the Tower’s entrance lay on the other side of this floor – meaning she would have to find a way to sneak into the other side, or she would need to wait for this Greagoir to make a decision and allow her access. How she’d break out of the actual entrance door… she had no idea. But her first challenge was just to get access to it. 

A tall man in a long brown cloak walked out of the room on their left and Wynne waved him over for introductions. Ellana could tell something was off with this man: the way he walked, the lack of expression in his face, his monotone voice – and then she saw the signal on his forehead. He was a tranquil. Ellana froze – she had never actually been around a tranquil before. 

“Owain, this is Ellana. She is new here. Could you please show her to the library? I’m sure she’ll enjoy spending time there over the next few days.”

“Uh – I, I don’t need to…” Ellana began to interject. 

“This way, please.” With a complete lack of any emotion, Owain began leading Ellana to the floor’s library. She listened to his dull explanation of the library’s resources and quickly ducked out of the room. Wynne noticed that Ellana had returned so quickly and came back over to her.

“That was quick!”

“Yeah… I uh, I don’t like being around… them.” 

Wynne looked saddened, “Oh, Ellana. There’s nothing to worry about. Owain requested to be made tranquil, long ago. There are a few Mage here who requested tranquility instead of their Harrowing. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

“Hmm… if you say so.” Ellana shifted uncomfortably. 

“Since you seem to have such a strong opinion on it, I do hope that is not what the Knight-Commander decides to do with you.”

Ellana’s eyes widened in horror, “Wha – what? That’s – that’s an option?”

Wynne placed her hand on Ellana’s arm, “An unlikely one, dear, but yes – it is. I imagine Greagoir has decided to delay his decision so that Irving can report on your behavior these next few days. I would highly recommend that you… behave.” She smiled and walked away.

‘Well, that was quite the ominous warning…’ Ellana sighed. She’d put off her escape for a few days – since, she really didn’t have a plan – and apparently she needed to be on her best behavior. 

Ellana spent the rest of the day quietly reading in her bed. She had grabbed the first few books that she laid eyes on in the library and darted back out before she made eye contact with Owain. They were all schoolbooks on magic and Ellana was rolling her eyes practically at every page; this was juvenile stuff! Such basic magic; no wonder the Templars controlled the Mages here, they didn’t even teach them the good stuff! She shuddered, and they had that silencing ability… 

Hours later, a small knock came on the door. That was new – Irving and Wynne had simply walked right in. 

“Um… come in?” She called out and heard a loud clatter outside as if something had been dropped. 

The door slowly opened and Ellana’s eye widened – it was Cullen. He was holding a tray with Ellana’s evening meal. She could tell his hands were mildly shaking as he walked closer to her and laid the tray down on a nearby table. He avoided eye contact and had kept his eyes peeled to the ground. Ellana fondly smiled when she noticed his face had a faint blush of red. ‘Ah, Cullen. Some things never change.’

He turned to leave but she was desperate for more interaction with him. “Um, wait!” He turned around, yet still refused to meet her eyes. 

“…Yes?” he quietly spoke.

“Well, you’re only the fourth person I’ve seen all day. I’m… a little bored. And I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’m having a difficult time remembering how I arrived here… could I ask you some questions – about this place?”

He appeared to consider her request for a short time in his head before nodding and sitting down in a nearby chair. 

“Um…” Ellana wasn’t actually sure what she should say to him, she was just desperate to keep him here; he made her feel comfortable. “I remember you, from earlier – outside. You were the one who tied my hands together. I um – you were gentle and didn’t tie them very tight. Thank you, that was kind.”

“Ah – well,” he blushed harder, “I don’t… agree with how some of the Templars treat the Mage around here. But – but I’m also new so, maybe I just don’t understand yet.” He quickly looked at her in the eyes, “I shouldn’t have said that. Please don’t mention it to anyone!”

Ellana smiled at him, “No, I won’t. Don’t worry.” He relaxed. “So, you said you’re new. How long have you been here?”

“Around six months.” Good, Ellana thought. She’d rather deal with a fresh Templar Cullen, who hopefully hadn’t taken on too much of the mentality yet, than a two-year-in hardened Cullen. 

“Any chance… you don’t recognize me at all, do you?” Ellana had to ask, even thought she knew what the answer would be.

He shook his head. 

“I’ve been told your Knight-Commander is trying to decide what to do with me. I’m pretty nervous about it. Wynne mentioned that being made a Tranquil is an option and – Creators, I really don’t want that. I’m terrified of it, actually. Do you have any idea of which direction he may be leaning? Or any advise on how I can… not be made Tranquil?”

“Uh – I probably shouldn’t say. I shouldn’t be commenting on the Knight-Commander’s decisions…” He looked deeply uncomfortable.

“Well…” Ellana got up and sat down in the chair beside Cullen. She turned to face him and looked deep into his eyes. They were the same warm colors of amber and honey; she found herself lost in them for a few moments. She noticed that his scar was missing – and then realized she never asked the Commander when he got it. 

Cullen was deeply blushing and kept having to look away, breaking their eye contact. Ellana gave him a warm smile and placed a hand on his arm, “I’m just scared. I don’t want to get you in trouble. I just want to know what’s to happen with me. If you know anything… please…” she widened her eyes and pouted her lips in the same way she would when she needed to get the Commander to give in to her. It always worked with him the future… and thankfully, it worked with younger Cullen as well. 

“Please don’t tell anyone that I’ve told you this. He’s decided to have you join the Circle here; you’re not to be made tranquil. If all goes well, in a few months – six, maybe – you’ll have your Harrowing. That’s only if you don’t cause any problems these next few days. The waiting, it’s all just a test. He wants to see if you’ll try to escape or if you’ll keep this Dalish story going. Just, relax and don’t cause problems. You’ll be okay.” He smiled. 

“Thank you, C – I just realized I don’t know your name.” Ellana caught herself at the last moment. 

“Cullen.”

“Well – thank you, Cullen. I’m Ellana.”

That evening, Ellana lay in bed unable to fall asleep. She had began to formulate a plan on how to get out of here... 

First, she needed to find a way back into the Fade. She had been assuming this would be in the same place where she fell out of the memory bubble – but that was just a guess. Cullen had told her that if she played nice, she would undergo her Harrowing in a few months – and Ellana knew that Harrowings included sending a Mage into the Fade. Would it be the same Fade that she fell out of? Who knows… but, it was definitely the best lead she had. 

Unfortunately, she didn’t have months to wait before retuning to the Fade. She wasn’t sure if time passing here was the same as time passing in the Fade or time passing back in Ellana’s timeline – the future, or her present, Creators this was confusing! Regardless, she couldn’t wait months. She needed to make this happen as soon as possible. Also, what if the Harrowing Fade didn’t put her back into the Fade with Dorian, Cassandra and the others? What if it was just a real Harrowing and she came back here, in this place afterwards? Then she’d move onto Plan B: escape the Tower and return to the spot where she originally fell. For that… she’d definitely need some help… 

That meant she would need a friend. A close friend, someone she could trust and who had power from the inside… she needed to befriend Cullen. Maybe he could encourage her Harrowing to be expedited? And if it failed, maybe he would help her escape? 

Ellana and Cullen had minimally discussed his past days as a Templar before and he had sadly mentioned that he didn’t think he could have cared for Ellana if they met back then – that’s how brainwashed he had become. Ellana wasn’t sure if maybe she had just lucked out and met Templar Cullen before he got to that point, or maybe Cullen just underestimated how kind of a person he remained – or, how much he liked her… Ellana smirked. But this evening, when younger Cullen sat in the chair and spoke with her, she could tell that he felt something towards her. She could work with this – with him. 

Ellana sighed. This was to be a long few weeks. She fell asleep, praying to the Creators that one of her plans would work – preferably the first one, and preferably it wouldn’t take six months.


	15. Falling in Lust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)

Cullen had been correct. Ellana kept her head down, didn’t cause any trouble, and stopped talking about being a lost Dalish Mage. In a few days, Irving informed her that the Knight-Commander had made a decision for her to remain in the Circle and join the rest of the Mages in their studies. 

Ellana was relieved to know that silencing was no longer on the table, however she now found herself surrounded by other students during her days and nights – she shared the common night room with several Mage. The first few days were uncomfortable; everyone did their best to avoid her. She was an unknown and they appeared unwilling to be associated with her, in case she caused the Templars any problems. After a week of causing no issues, they slowly began to engage her in small conversations. 

Ellana continued to play the story of an unknown Mage who could only recall her name and didn’t remember how she arrived outside the Tower, or where she lived beforehand. She met Greagoir the first evening after his decision to keep her in the Circle Tower, and nervously told him that she couldn’t recall further details. He didn’t like it; he didn’t like her, but he seemed to believe her – thankfully. 

The next few days were agonizing for Ellana. She woke up in the early morning, had breakfast with the rest of the Mages, quietly studied until Noon – all useless material, which Ellana had learnt in her early adolescence – ate lunch, studied some more, ate dinner, more studying, and went to bed. It was such a dull life here in the Circle; Ellana couldn’t believe how happy the other Mages appeared to be. It had to be a rouse… they must have been too scared to speak of unhappiness out loud. Ellana would have liked to talk more with some of them and try to find out how they truly felt, but she was determined to find a way out of here. She refused to risk her chances for anyone or anything. So, she kept quiet and made no friends with the other Mages. 

She did however, take every opportunity she could get to speak more with Cullen. He appeared permanently assigned to the first floor, so Ellana was able to interact with him a few times through the day. The first time she saw him after the night he brought her dinner, he was standing guard in the hallway as she walked by on her way to the library. She gave him a warm smile and a nod, which he completely ignored. Ellana noticed that some of the senior Templars were standing down the hall and figured Cullen was open to talking with her – just not in front of the other guards. ‘Noted.’ She would have to be strategic when she initiated conversation with him; she wanted him to feel as though he could trust her and that she wouldn’t get him in trouble with the other Templars. 

She chose her moments more carefully over the next few days, chatting with him in the hallway when no other guards were present, winking at him as she walked by in the hallway and none of the other Templars could see. He furiously blushed the first time, but Ellana could see a slight smile form on his lips – he liked her. 

Thanks the Creators! She was so worried that he would be the harsh cruel man that Commander Cullen had warned her about. ‘When did that happen to him?’ she wondered. He seemed so… sweet and caring right now. It was hard to imagine how he could change into something that she would be scared of. She sat that evening, racking her brain on when Cullen could have made the switch, and her stomach dropped when she remembered the mess with Uldred that happened here. 

Ellana sighed, ‘Thank Mythal I arrived here before that whole thing.’ Cullen hadn’t really talked about it with her – she could tell it brought him a great deal of pain to recall those memories. She wished that he had given her some details so that she could recognize if certain events started to happen which may indicate how close she had fallen to that timeline. Ellana shivered and prayed that she was far, far away from that. She could only handle so much right now and escaping was the only thing on her mind. 

Well, that was partly true. Ellana spent the next few weeks slowly building her relationship with Cullen. At first, it was entirely a calculated move to gain his trust and use him in her escape. She had mentioned her hopes that he could expedite her Harrowing and unfortunately he told her that he couldn’t do that – he had no power in influencing those sorts of things. Ellana felt defeated in thinking that she would have to spend possibly six months in this place, but at least she would still have Cullen’s trust if her first plan failed and she needed to move onto Plan B: escape the tower – Cullen would likely come in handy for that. 

Ellana wasn’t quite sure why, but she could tell that Cullen would help her. He cared for her – greatly. She could tell he had a massive crush on her; and if she was being honest… she had started to develop feelings for him. To be around someone who reminded her of the Commander Cullen because – well, he was him… just, not yet. She had memories of older Cullen mixing in her head with younger Cullen, who was being so sweet to her. It was too much and she felt herself being drawn to him. She was still determined to escape, but she had not kept herself emotionally detached from Templar Cullen, as she had planned – not at all. 

One evening, there was a seminar being put on the second level for first level Mages to attend – apparently it was a big deal, as they were never allowed up on the second floor. Everyone had been interested in attending, except for Ellana – she couldn’t have cared less. She was however, interested in going up in order to survey the landscape of the second floor and look for anything that might be useful in her escape, but then she learnt that Cullen would be the only Templar on guard that evening on the first floor: so she stayed. She should have gone upstairs to gain information and yet she stayed behind – that was when she realized just how much she had grown to care for the younger Cullen. 

She found him on one of the balconies, looking out at the lake view from afar. 

“Have you seen much of it?” she joined him, “Thedas – that is. Have you travelled much?”

He was a little startled at her presence. “No… I haven’t.”

“Well, hopefully you’ll get out of here at some point and have a chance to get out and see the world, a bit. It’s beautiful.” She joined him in leaning over the balcony and stood close to his side.

“Yes, ah – I do expect to be posted to another Circle at some point. I’ll have to put in more time here, of course…”

She looked at him, “No Cullen, that’s not what I meant. Cullen – is this truly what you want?”

He looked at her with a confused look on his face.

“The Templars – being one. Is this you? It – it doesn’t feel like it.” She placed a hand on his arm. “I just – you feel so much better than all of this; kinder. Do you really want this life? Now that you know of what it entails.”

She was a little nervous that maybe she had pressed him too hard when he didn’t answer… but then she saw his eyes and knew he was considering her words. She had gotten through to him. Creators, he looked so miserable. Ellana remembered how much Cullen had said this place broke his spirit and her heart ached for him. To see it in person, it was devastating. 

She hadn’t really planned on taking it this far with him – and if she had considered it more, she probably would have decided it was too risky – but suddenly she found herself moving close to him and reaching out to touch his face with her hand. He looked at her with guilt and surprise on his face, but he didn’t move away. She leaned in and kissed him. He kissed her back. She was a little put off by the overwhelming taste of lyrium, but she went in again for more. 

The next few weeks were very unlike the first month, as they flew by in a whirlwind for Ellana. Every night, she found a few moments to sneak away with Cullen and they would steal kisses from each other in hidden crevasses of the library, empty closets – all over the first floor, really. Ellana felt horrible about it at night; it was such a compromise to her plan – if they were caught by anyone… that would be the end of her Harrowing. She had decided one night that she’d put an end to it, and yet she found herself wrapped in his arms a mere few hours later. She couldn’t end it.

Also, she felt guilty for… doing this with Cullen. She had to remind herself that this was a memory and probably wasn’t the real Cullen but still – she felt strange. She’d kissed the Commander only once. This Cullen… Creators, she had lost count. She wondered how Commander Cullen would feel about this. Her face reddened, ‘Probably won’t tell him about it….’ 

She felt intoxicated when she was with him. It was maddening, feeling as though this was the Commander… yet wasn’t… yet also was…. She honestly felt as if her brain had given up. She pictured him sometimes when they kissed: the Commander. Which made her feel guilty for the Cullen in front of her. Other times, when she didn’t picture the Commander, she felt guilt for that as well. She knew it should be stopped – but she didn’t have the willpower. 

One evening, they were hidden in the back storage room of the library – everyone else had gone to bed hours ago. It was quiet and Cullen had propped something against the door to give them a few moments notice if anyone did try to enter. He kissed her and Ellana felt a difference in this kiss: it was more passionate than the others, more vigorous. He grabbed her by the waist, hoisting her up onto a table behind them and began to kiss her neck.

“Mmm, Cullen – ” she could tell where this was going. Ah, she’d have to stop him… “we can’t – do this…”

“Why not?” He went back to kiss her lips. 

“Because…we – I can’t do this to you. It’s – it’s not right.” 

He had begun grabbing and kneading at her hips, which reminded her of that day on the training field with him where he did the same motions. How badly she had wanted him then; how badly she wanted him now. 

“I’m not a child, Ellana…” he pulled her closer to him and she could feel the heat from within his pants. Creators, this was difficult.

Ellana took a deep breath in and continued, “Cullen, I know that and I do not mean to insult you. You have – no idea how much I would like to do this.” She grabbed his face, “Please trust me, Cullen. We can’t do this now.”

He backed up with a look of embarrassment and shame on his face. Ellana feared she had just erased months of work with him… but mostly she felt awful that she had hurt his feelings. She stood up and grabbed him around his neck, placing a kiss on his cheek. 

“Cullen, just not here – not like this, okay? I don’t want it to happen while I’m a student here and you’re my guard.” She laughed and gave him a sultry look, “How about when I’m a full Mage and I’ve left this place. When we are more equal?”

He smiled and gave her a kiss. She didn’t plan on remaining here that long but he believed her – thankfully. 

Ellana left and quietly slipped back into her bed. She was relieved to have put an end to doing that with him, at least. She felt plenty of guilt around all of the kisses… to have done that with him for the first time – like this – would have been... Ellana just knew it would have been wrong. She fell asleep shortly afterwards, dreaming of the Commander and their day on the training field. Creators, she missed him. 

A few hours later, she was pulled from her alluring dream by screams echoing throughout the hallway. Ellana felt hands grab hold and shake her from her sleep – it was one of the other Mage. “They sealed us in!” He screamed at her. 

Ellana cursed her luck and timing. This was it. 

Uldred.


	16. Uldred

Ellana threw her covers off and jumped out of the bed. How was this happening right now? This was going to mess up all of her plans! She felt her throat closing up and her vision began to go blurry. This was it; she was never getting out of here. Never getting back to her real life, to her friends, to Skyhold. What would happen with Corypheus?? She couldn’t breath and fell down to the ground, panic-struck and unable to move. 

“Why have they sealed us in?” One of the Mage screamed out from across the room. Ellana looked up at her and realized that this woman was unfamiliar to her; she had never seen her before… which meant, she must have been a second floor student. Ellana jumped up; this meant that the doors were unlocked! 

If she could gain access to the second floor, maybe she could find a way up to the third floor Harrowing Chamber and find a way to throw herself into the Fade. It was risky and if it wasn’t the right way she needed to enter, Ellana wasn’t sure that she’d be able to come back from the Fade… but escaping the Tower wasn’t an option right now. The Templars wouldn’t let her through. With her mind made up, she started to run towards the entrance of the second level. 

As she got closer to the entrance, she noticed Wynne standing by the door – staff raised and generating a barrier of sorts, blocking the entrance.

“Wynne, I need to get through!” Ellana yelled.

“Nonsense! There are unimaginable horrors behind this door. Uldred has seized this part of the Tower and has unleashed demons and turned Blood Mages up there! I can hold them off for a little while, you are safe down here.”

“I don’t need to be safe!” Ellana screamed. “I need to get through that door!”

“Go hide in the library with your fellow students, Ellana!”

Creators, she wasn’t listening! Ellana didn’t know what to do. She NEEDED to get through that door. This was her only time to get out of here and she wasn’t about to let anyone get in her way. She had hoped it wouldn’t come to this…

“Wynne, I need you to open that door for me. After I leave, you can seal it again and I do not expect to be let out. I really do not want to do this but if you refuse, I will gain entrance to that door – by force, if necessary.” Ellana summoned the beginning of a powerful fire spell in her hand and looked Wynne in the eyes to convey her seriousness in this action. 

Wynne gave Ellana a bewildered and saddened look. “Ellana, why are you…” she broke the barrier spell and pointed a hand towards the door. “I do not understand, but my main concern is keeping this barrier here to save the students. Go, if you must.” 

Thank the Creators! She had been prepared to strike the kind woman down, but was incredibly relieved to see it wouldn’t come to that. Enough blood would be shed here, tonight. 

Ellana ran through the door and quickly surveyed the hallway. Dozens of bodies lay on the floor: demons, blood mages and students all mixed together. It was a horrific sight. The door to Ellana’s left was closed but she could hear screams coming from inside mixed with evil moans and laughter – there were blood mages in there. She needed to move, now. Ellana started to run towards the other end of the hallway, which led to the third level.

She was running past open doors and paying only enough attention to make sure that no one had noticed her. When she ran past the third door on the right, Ellana saw something that made her stop running and turn back. 

Cullen. 

He was trapped within a force field barrier with a blood mage demon standing in front of him. 

“No!” Cullen cried, “You’re not real. Get out of my head!”

Ellana froze. She heard the sounds of more demons coming from around the corner and knew she shouldn’t delay – she needed to get to the third floor immediately. This wasn’t the real Cullen, this was a memory. She needed to leave him and run to the Chamber, where she could get back to the real Cullen. None of this was real – and yet, she found herself unable to walk away.

Ellana sent an ice spell hurling towards the demon, which broke its concentration on Cullen.

“E – Ellana?” Cullen called out. “Ellana, run! Leave me, save yourself!” 

The demon began to cast a fire spell back at Ellana, which thankfully she blasted away with one of her spells. She battled with the demon for a few moments before landing a decisive blow and watched as the demon dissolved into black sludge.

“Cullen!” She ran over to the barrier. “I’ll get you out of here – stand back!” She used all of her concentration to hurl magic at the barrier and the shiny barricade broke into hundreds of pieces. She ran over to hug him, “Cullen are you okay?”

“Maker’s Breath, Ellana. How did you do that? Those spells…”

“I can’t explain right now. I’m not really….” 

She heard the sound of footsteps in the hallway and grabbed Cullen to hide behind a curtain in the room. Fenedhis! There were so many more of them out there now! Why had she turned back for him? 

Ellana felt Cullen’s hand slip into her own, “Ellana, I’ll distract them and you run to the first floor door. I think Wynne has a barrier blocking this level off but if you tell her it’s you, she’ll let you out. I’ll do everything I can to keep you safe.”

She looked into the young Templars eyes and sighed. This is why she turned back: because it was Cullen. Templar or not, real or memory, she wouldn’t have been able to walk away from him while he was tortured. The Commander had told her minor details about his capture in the tower and how much it messed with his mind, for years. Ellana may have just saved him from that – this Cullen. Maybe it was foolish, but she would have done the same thing again, if given the chance. 

“I’m not trying to get to the first floor, I came from there. I need to get to the third floor. I need to get to the Harrowing Chamber.”

“Wh – what? Why in Maker’s Name…”

She turned to face him and gave him a light kiss. “Cullen, do you trust me?” He nodded. “Then, I don’t have time to explain why, but I promise you that my life depends on it. I need to get to the Harrowing Chamber.” She held her breath, waiting for his answer. This was it: the moment where he would either help her, or she’d find out how much of a fool she had been the last few months. 

“Some of these rooms connect, we can use the door over there to avoid the hallway for a while. We’ll have to run into the hallway eventually, but this gives us the best chance at getting you to the third floor.”

Ellana felt as though she could cry. ‘Cullen, you wonderful man.’ She would owe him if she ever got back to Skyhold – big time. 

They ran through the next few rooms without any trouble and braced themselves for entry to the hallway. 

“Are there any other Templars up here?” Ellana asked.

“A few, but I haven’t seen then in a while. They may no longer be alive...”

“Okay. I’ll try and hold up a barrier spell on us as long as I can. Make sure you don’t get too far from me. If you see any Templars, make sure they don’t mistake for me for a blood mage. I really don’t want to be silenced again….”

Cullen reached out and grabbed Ellana’s hand. “Ellana, I – I just want to say, in case we don’t make it out of here – ”

“Don’t.” Ellana placed a finger to his mouth, “Don’t speak like that, Cullen.”

He grabbed her hand and pulled it down, “Well, can I at least tell you how much I’m come to care for you these past months? I still don’t understand where you’ve come from, and it’s clear there are some things you haven’t told me, but… I’ve fallen in love with you, Ellana. I have no idea how, it’s not meant to be something that happens here between a Templar and a Mage but – I have.”

Ellana’s stomach dropped and she felt as though something had stabbed her through the heart. She felt like such a horrible person right now. Was this fair – what she’d done to him? She didn’t know what to say, so she wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered into his ear, “Cullen – I don’t deserve you.” 

They remained in each other’s embrace for a few moments before peaking out into the hallway and finding it to be clear. They dashed out into the hallway and made a run for the door. Ellana should have known it was too good to be true. A clear path to the door, when they were on an entire floor of mage demons? Why had she been so foolish… 

Ellana reached the door and went to turn the handle: it was locked. “I can break the lock, but I’ll have to stop our barrier for a few moments.” She told Cullen, he nodded. 

Shifting her focus to the locked the door, she turned her back to the hallway and trusted Cullen to alert her if something changed. Just as she heard the clink of the lock and opened the door, she felt something cold and wicked behind her. She spun around and her mind took in the next few moments in slow motion. 

Two blood mage demons standing in the hallway. 

Cullen looking into her eyes, with a sad smile on his lips. 

Cullen pushing her backwards in through the door. Grabbing the door handle, he swings the door shut. 

A blood demon’s hand ripping through his chest and Cullen’s blood spilling out onto the floor. 

The door shuts. 

It’s Ellana’s last view, before finding herself alone and in darkness, on the third floor of the Tower. 

Cullen is dead.


	17. The Harrowing Chamber

Ellana threw out her hand and cast a binding spell on the door to keep the blood demons on the other side unable to reach her. It wouldn’t last forever, but it should give her enough time to find the Harrowing Chamber. 

She stood up and began running up the stairs. At the very last step, her foot caught the ledge and she tripped, falling down onto her hands and knees. She wanted to stand up and keeping running but she couldn’t. Tears began falling from her eyes and she laid her head down onto the top of her hands. 

‘Cullen.’ The image of his chest being ripped open by the demon played over in her mind, suddenly she was getting sick and hyperventilating. Ellana grabbed her stomach and tried to slow her breathing down. She turned back to look at the door: he was there, just on the other side. She closed her eyes and began shaking furiously while tears flowed down her face. 

She slowly began to lift herself back up. Regardless of how badly she wanted to lie down and allow grief to wash over her, she didn’t have the time. Ellana began to walk down the end of the hall, using the wall as support and carefully peaking into each room to look for demons or blood mages. So far, it was clear. 

Ellana wasn’t entirely sure where the Harrowing Chamber was, for she had never been in it before. She was hoping that Cullen could show – her stomach clenched as she thought his name and the image of his death flashed before her eyes once again. Ellana fell down to her knees and looked back at the door. 

“I can’t do this.” She cried. “I can’t – ” All she wanted was to lie down and sob. She had tried to save him; she thought she had rescued him from the barrier and the torture. Every time she went to sleep feeling guilty about the fact that he was falling for her – here, like this – she would reconcile it with the fact that maybe she was saving him from hardening here; maybe she was helping him remain a good person. How foolish she had been. None of those things had happened; she hadn’t helped him, at all. She had killed him. In this timeline, he didn’t survive and it was because of her. 

Ellana lowered herself to the ground and wept. She didn’t care if the binding spell broke and demons poured in; maybe she deserved to die here like the rest of them. She opened her eyes, head lying towards the right, and she saw it – the Harrowing Chamber. Her heart sprung back into action. She lifted herself back up and ran into the room.

There was a pedestal placed in the middle of the room, which emitted a light glow. Ellana wasn’t entirely sure how this worked. She knew that the process involved lyrium, which was already present within the pedestal – Ellana could tell from the smell of it, there were huge amounts of it flowing within the plinth. She held her breath and reached out to touch the lyrium with her right hand. Nothing.

‘It’s not working. Why is it not working?’ Ellana furiously looked around the room, hoping to find some clue as to what she was missing. She couldn’t see anything. Did they need other Mages here? Templars? She didn’t know what to do. 

A sudden sharp pain shot through Ellana’s left hand. She looked down and there it was – the mark! It was faintly showing, slowly creeping back through her skin breaking the surface. Creators, she never thought she’d be happy to see it again! Ellana closed her eyes and sent out a prayer to anyone who was listening – the Creators, the Maker, Andraste herself! Anyone! 

She lifted her left hand and slowly brought the mark closer to the lyrium. An intense burning occurred and if the stakes were any less high, she would have been tempted to pull back her hand. How it burned! She pushed through and felt excruciating pain consume her entire body as the mark made contact with the lyrium. A flash of emerald green light blinded her version and she felt the world begin to spin. 

“Ellana, dear. Please don’t get too close to it.” Dorian’s voice spoke to her. 

She turned around and saw all of them: Cassandra, Dorian, Solas and Hawke. Tears fell down her face and she ran over to give Dorian a hug.

“What are – what’s wrong?” he asked her with an amused look on his face.

“What’s wrong?!” Ellana yelled. “I’ve been gone for, months! I fell into that bubble. I – how long have I been standing there?”

“What are you talking about?” Cassandra walked over to Ellana, “You were standing there for a few seconds.”

Ellana looked at them all with a dumbfounded look on her face. She didn’t even know where to begin. 

**************************************************************************

They were still stuck in the Fade, without any clues on how to return back to Adamant Fortress. They needed to hurry up and find a way to get home, so Ellana spent only a few moments giving the main highlights of what happened to her in the memory bubble. She did share that Cullen was there, that he helped her escape and that she had to watch him die at the end, however she left out the parts of their… relationship. 

Dorian gave Ellana another hug. “I am keeping you here, at my side, for the rest of this horrible Fade experience!” Ellana was quite alright with that idea. 

The companions switched their focus back to the Fade and began slowly walking down the twisted and warped pathway. It was no surprise when fear demons began to drop from the sky, showering them in massive spiders, demons and skeletons of the dead. They quickly defeated the enemies and noticed a glowing figure lay ahead…

An hour later, they had pushed through various obstacles that Corypheus had set out for them and made it to the end of the Fade, accompanied by the spirit that had been claiming to be a representation of the Divine. Solas believed that this entire pathway had been established as a sort of test for the Inquisition members and believed that if they made it to the end, they could return back to the Fortress. In a few moments, they would find out if he was correct in this assumption. 

“I can see it!” Cassandra shouted as they peaked the final hill and looked down upon a glowing green light: it was an opening to the Fade.

They all began running towards the light when a large hole opened in the ground and a massive demon slowly climbed out. It was entirely blocking their pathway to the Rift and was huge in size – Ellana was grasping for some plan on how they could possibly defeat something so large. 

Before anyone could object, Hawke took off towards the demon and shouted for the rest of the members to run towards the Rift while he created a distraction. They all froze for a few moments, unsure of how to leave one of them behind here in this hellhole. Eventually, they all came to the sad realization that it was the only way for any of them to escape. With tears streaming down her face, Ellana ran towards the Fade Rift with her friends. 

“Open the Rift!” Solas called to her.

Ellana froze. This was the first time she would be using the Mark to open a Rift since… since using it to return to here – the Fade. Solas had been saying that the Rift at the end of the Fade should be a link back to Thedas, and he was likely correct. Even so – Ellana couldn’t help but worry a little about the Rift taking her back to Kinlock. A world in which… Cullen was now dead. She stood, frozen in panic, trying to will herself to move.

“Ellana?” Cassandra called out. She looked up and saw the three of them standing there: Cassandra, Dorian and Solas. They were beaten and exhausted, with dried blood on their faces and barely holding themselves up. They were her friends; she cared so much for them all. Even if this took her back to the Circle Tower, she needed to do everything in her power to save them. She held her breath, raised her arm and began to open the Rift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possibly a super cute reunion coming next chapter :D <333
> 
> This was on the short side, so I will hopefully have the next one posted over the weekend.


	18. Courtyard Reunions

Ellana stumbled out of the Rift and crashed onto the cobblestone floor. She had braced her fall by holding out her hands and upon landing, took a moment to enjoy the cold, solid texture of the stone. She knew where they were: Adamant Fortress. They had made it back. 

An Inquisition scout ran over to them from the other side of the room. “You’re back!” He cried with delight. “We’ve been searching the grounds for the last fortnight!”

“We need to return to Skyhold, immediately.” Cassandra ordered.

“Yes, Lady Seeker. Almost all of the Inquisition forces are here, the Commander – oh!” The Scout’s eyes widened, “excuse me, Lady Seeker – I was to inform the Commander at once if we found new information. He will be most relieved that we’ve found much more! Please, follow me to the Courtyard.”

Ellana’s head shot up towards the scout. Cullen. “Is the Commander here?”

“Yes, Lady Inquisitor. He has been camped here since your disappearance. The Commander has been ordering – ”

Ellana didn’t wait for the Scout to finish his next sentence. She began to run furiously towards the Courtyard. Cullen. She needed to see him; needed to see that he was still alive. 

Her heart was pounding so heavily that she could feel it’s pummeling in her ears; her tiny frame felt as though it was about to burst from the rapid movement within her chest. Ellana’s breathing quickened as she reached the end of the corridor. The anticipation of seeing him was causing her to feel light-headed. Almost there – she could see light from the Courtyard peaking around the corner and heard distant mumbles from Inquisition scouts become increasingly louder. She flung herself around the last turn of the Fortress and found herself in an open field. Her eyes instantly sought him out among the crowd, finding him in the middle of a small group of soldiers on the other side of the courtyard. Even from her distance, Ellana could see how badly he had been impacted by their absence. He looked exhausted, sleep deprived, tense – yet, beautiful and very much alive. Head buried in reports, he hadn’t noticed Ellana’s presence. She took a moment to watch him, recognizing how monumental this moment felt; how greatly she now cared for this man. 

He quickly glanced up in her direction, before brining his eyes back down to the recruits before him - not yet comprehending what he had just seen. Ellana watched as his eyes widened and he looked backed up at her. Warm amber eyes met her piercing blue. Ellana’s heart skipped a beat. 

She was running. Running across the field, paying no attention to the soldiers or the other Inquisition members who called her name as she past them. She was running to him. 

Cullen was in a daze, unsure if his mind had finally snapped and he was imagining all of this. Was she truly here, right before him? He started walking towards her in disbelief – praying to the Maker that his eyes were not deceiving him. 

Ellana threw herself into him, jumping up as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He quickly reached out to grab her legs, supporting her weight and holding her tightly as she wrapped herself around his waist. Time was irrelevant for them in that moment. They were both oblivious to their surroundings, only caring for the fact that skin was touching skin; that they were holding one another. In the middle of the battlefield, surrounded by Inquisition soldiers and all of their companions, she kissed him. He pulled her body closer and parted her lips with his tongue, craving her taste. Ellana welcomed the absence of lyrium and felt the warmth from his tongue wash over her like a crashing wave; he hungrily claimed her mouth, causing a warm tingling sensation to slowly rise from her stomach.

“Ahem…” someone cleared their throat. In that exact moment, Ellana and Cullen both remembered where they were and who surrounded them. They quickly broke the kiss and he gently lowered her to the ground. Ellana laughed at their matching reddened faces and burrowed her head into his shoulder, taking a final moment before turning to face the promised confusion and amusement that would await them. 

‘Ugh.’ Cullen sighed; of course Varric was there and right in front of them. He gave them both a well-pleased grin and began to shake his head. 

“Don’t.” Cullen mumbled to the Dwarf, while trying to regain some of his composure. 

Ellana sunk down to her knees and threw her head back to look up at the sky. Creators, it was good to be back. She closed her eyes and thought of Varric; how she dreaded the news that she would have to give him. Hawke… she hated that she would be the reason to pull that smile from his face.

“Boss – you okay?” Bull came running over to them, as Cassandra, Dorian and Solas turned the corner of the Fortress and joined them in the Courtyard. Ellana opened her eyes and looked at everyone standing around her. This strange group of oddballs and a bunch of people whom it didn’t make sense for them to get along: A Templar, Apostate Mages, a Quanari, a Grey Warden, Sera – Ellana laughed – they were family, now. She had no idea when it had happened, or how, but she cared more for these individuals than she did for herself. 

“Let’s go home.” She quietly spoke. Cullen placed her arm behind his shoulder to help her up and gently held her by the waist, as they began their departure from Adamant Fortress and their return back to Skyhold. 

**************************************************************************

Ellana had been resting in her private quarters for the last two days since their arrival back in Skyhold. The Healers had cured the minor injuries she acquired, and so she wasn’t physically in need of rest – it was more mental exhaustion. Ellana had explained a little of what happened to her when she disappeared in the memory sphere within the Fade, so Cullen was aware that she was thrown back to the Circle Tower where he had been stationed as a Templar. She didn’t know how to continue the conversation and therefore, she had left it at that. He had been avoiding her ever since – likely assuming that she wanted some space. 

Ellana winced as she lifted her hand to the door of his office; this was not a conversation that she was looking forward to. She closed her eyes and lightly knocked.

“Yes?” His voice called out. He looked started when the door opened and he saw that it was Ellana. “Oh – Inquisitor, how are you feeling? Please, sit down.” 

Ellana smiled. “Please do not start calling me that again, Cullen.” She sat down at his desk and he awkwardly nodded. They both glanced around the room, unable to meet each other’s eyes. Creators, she didn’t know where to begin but she needed to say something! This silence was unbearable. 

“Cullen.” “Ellana.” They spoke at the same time. She looked into his eyes and burst out laughing. “I’m sorry,” he said while furiously blushing, “you first.”

She took a deep breath to steady her breathing. “Cullen, I have some things that I must tell you about my time in Kinloch. I – this is not going to be easy.”

He nervously nodded, anxiously awaiting her next words.

“Well, so as you must imagine – you were there. We met immediately, actually, and you… you – ah, I don’t really know how to explain this…”

“Ellana,” he lowered his head into his hands. “I’m so sorry for what I must have done. I still don’t understand what it was – a memory, if it was truly me, I don’t know but… I can only imagine how horrible I must have been to you. I – I’m so sorry. I completely understand if you need some time away from me.” His voice broke and it sounded like he was holding back tears. 

“What? Cullen, no!” Ellana reached out to touch his arm, “That’s not at all what happened!” She started laughing, “Cullen, I – you may be the one who wants some time away from me once I tell you this…”

He looked up at her with great surprise and so she continued. “You were nothing but kind. From the start, my first night there – you calmed me down and we became… quite close. You were instrumental in my escape, actually. You – you scarified yourself to save me when the attack from Uldred began…” Ellana began to recount her experience to Cullen: telling him of her plan to reach the Harrowing Chamber, how she stopped his torture and how he protected her, helping her reach the third floor. She left out any information about their… relationship, still unsure how to disclose that part. 

He was astonished. “I didn’t think that is how I would have reacted. I had hoped – prayed to the Maker – that is truly what I would have done, but… I was never sure. I – I would do all of that again if you required, now. I would save you, above all else.” He whispered. 

“Please do not speak of that.” Ellana closed her eyes, “I don’t want to – I can’t stop picturing it.” He reached over and they held hands across his desk. She opened her eyes again, “Cullen, that’s not everything that I have to tell you.” Another deep breath. “We – ” Creators, there was no easy way to say this! She would just have to spit it out. “We kind of ended up… together…romantically…I didn’t intend for it – at all! You… I could tell you had a crush on me and I planned on using that to get your help in escaping but truthfully, I ended up falling for you and – I just kept thinking of you, like now you, and it was so confusing and ugh, there was a lot of kissing… a lot of kissing… I feel so embarrassed. Um…” She hid her face in her hands. 

After a few seconds, she slowly peaked between her fingers to see what the Commander’s reaction was and found him sitting back in his chair with a grin on his face. “Are you laughing??” She yelled at him. 

He started chuckling, “Yes, I mean - no, but yes. Maker’s Breath, I’ll try again. I’ve been siting here for the last two days, terrified that I had done some horrible thing to you and that things were forever ruined between us. Now you tell me that I… that you were actually just running around the Tower kissing me. I – well, I don’t know. It’s a huge relief, honestly!”

She started to laugh with him, “You’re not upset? I feel like I violated your trust or, I don’t know! Took advantage of…”

“Ellana.” He laughed. “No, I’m not upset with you! It’s… surprising and a little shocking, but certainly not upsetting. A little strange feeling somewhat jealous of… yourself… but no, certainly not upset.” He blushed.

Ellana didn’t know what to say, but this conversation was going a lot better than she had expected. She let out a huge sigh of relief, “Thank you, Cullen. I can’t tell you how nervous I was to tell you this.”

“Nervous? How did you think I would react? I’m much more relieved to hear we were kissing rather than fighting….” His face reddened, “That’s… all there was…?”

“Oh!” Ellana’s face reddened as well, “Yes. That’s all. There was… a moment when…almost – but, no it didn’t… that’s all there was – just kissing. I didn’t want the first time to be – ” she gasped, “I mean, not that there will be a first time! I just meant – I meant, I didn’t want that to happen… there…” Oh Creators, kill me. 

Cullen didn’t know what to say. He nodded and replied, “Good to... good to know.” 

“Okay well, I’m glad we talked!” Ellana jumped out of her seat. “Thanks for listening to me and yeah – thanks!” She couldn’t run out of his office fast enough. Ellana returned to her quarters and screamed into her pillow. Why – whyyyyy had she continued with that last part. How had she made things even more uncomfortable with him?? Ellana cringed. 

A wave of relief came over her the next morning when she found her presence was required in the Hinterlands, immediately. An old contact of Leliana’s was requesting a meeting with the Inquisition. The trip was ideal; she needed a few days away from Cullen to try and regain some of her dignity. 

She gave him a quick handshake goodbye at the gates of Skyhold – not wanting to give him the cold shoulder, but also not wanting to give the soldiers or Inquisition members the wrong idea by going in for a hug. It was bad enough that practically everyone was gossiping about their kiss back at the Fortress. She gave him an apologetic look for leaving him alone to deal with the fallout of that… and then quickly mounted her horse to take off towards the Hinterlands.


	19. Meeting Morrigan

“So, who exactly is this contact of Leliana’s?” Dorian called out, moving his horse up closer to Ellana.

“Truthfully, I’m not sure. I know her name is Morrigan and she travelled with Leliana and the Hero of Ferelden years ago. Apparently she has news on what Corypheus may be after and how to stop him. Leliana said I’ll find her irritating, but we can trust her.” 

“I see. I’m not sure that I trust Leliana’s opinion on who I’ll find irritating…” he scoffed. Dorian often found the Spy-Master to be a bit too serious for his liking. 

Over the next few minutes, Ellana noticed Dorian frequently glancing over at her. “Dorian,” she laughed, “Is there something on your mind?”

“Something on my mind?!” He staggered, “Are you serious? How about the fact that you were thrown into a mysterious ball of green light, somehow found yourself back in time – with the Commander, I might add – return from the Fade and end up kissing him in an open field, surrounded by Inquisition soldiers. And, you haven’t spoken to me about it!” Dorian threw his hands up in the air with disbelief.

Ellana smiled, “Well, if there’s something you want to know – ask.”

“I want to know everything, my Dear. Details!”

“You can’t tell anyone this, Dorian…” Ellana recounted her experience at the Circle Tower with Cullen, including how intimate they had been and the conversation she had with the Commander shortly before their departure here. “Ugh! It was horrible. I can’t believe I said that! Didn’t want our first time – Creators, I’m such an idiot. Practically asking the man to sleep with me… ugh!” She shook her head to try and clear it of the embarrassing memory.

Dorian was hysterically laughing, to the point where Cassandra yelled back at them asking if everything was fine. 

“Dorian! You’re horrible. It’s nice to see my supposed best friend takes such delight in my misery – jerk!” Ellana laughed. “Honestly, it’s not funny! It’s embarrassing. I should have just – ugh I should have only told him about the kissing. Nothing else happened, why did I have to open my big mouth!” 

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, at least you managed not to open your legs in Kinloch.” 

Ellana glared at Dorian and he roared into another fit of laughter. She started laughing as well – for, why not? What else could she do, now? 

“What are you two talking about up there?” Varric yelled. 

“Nothing!” Ellana yelled while pointing a stern finger towards Dorian. Varric was the very last person she wanted to find out about this; she’d be serving him his next novel plot on a platter!

A few hours later, they were approaching the requested meeting location and so far, it didn’t look like anyone else was there. 

“Good.” Cassandra nodded, “We can scout the area before Leliana’s contact arrives.”

“Am I really that untrustworthy?” 

Ellana jumped as an unknown voice spoke directly behind her. She spun around to find a dark haired woman standing there, smirking.

“Where in Maker’s name did she arrive from?” Varric called out.

“Morrigan, I presume?” Ellana reached out a hand. 

The dark haired beauty ignored it. “Yes and it is about time that you have arrived, I have very important information to pass along to your Inquisition.” 

“Right to business, very well!” Dorian jumped off his horse and joined them.

Morrigan spent the next hour explaining how she had been carefully watching Corypheus the last several months, from afar. She believed that he was searching for an opportunity to enter into the Fade, physically – after Ellana stole the Orb and Mark from him. In addition, Morrigan believed that Corypheus was after something called the Well of Sorrows – the greatest collection of lost Elven knowledge. “He must believe that it contains information on how to enter the Fade,” she declared. Morrigan was close to finding the location of the Well; she needed a little while longer to complete her research and would then accompany the Inquisitor to the Temple, once it was located. Leliana had vouched for Morrigan and so Ellana accepted the mysterious woman’s help and told her to meet them back at Skyhold.

The following day, Ellana returned through the gates of Skyhold and rode towards the stables. The ride back had actually been quite pleasant: beautiful weather, they made great time, had a promising lead on Corypheus and a new companion. Ellana closed the stable door after leading her horse back in and turned around to find Cullen walking towards her. 

“Ellana, I’m glad you’re back. Can we, ah – talk? In private.”

Ellana nodded and followed him to his office. Everyone along their way stopped what they were doing to openly stare and watch the two of them disappear behind his door. ‘Perfect!’ she thought – they were only adding more fuel to the fire. It would be this time next year before everyone stopped gossiping about the two of them!

Cullen asked her to sit down and joined her at his desk. “I just feel like we need to talk about… things a bit more. I’ve been awfully confused around how we left everything and – I don’t know, I guess I’m wondering… how are we?” He anxiously stared at her.

“I think we’re fine,” Ellana stammered. “I feel uh, much closer to you now, actually – after everything at Kinloch. Probably more closer to you than you feel to me…” she nervously laughed. 

“I’m not sure about that…” He muttered. 

“I guess I feel somewhat appreciative that I was able to see some of what you went through. It was hard, seeing you like that – so lost, but I get it now. I understand why you may not always… freely support the Mages – or magic in general.” She laughed at his raised eyebrow before continuing, “I mean it; I feel differently towards your distrust of it all. I still disagree with you! But, I can understand where you are coming from after seeing a small portion of what went on there....”

Cullen gave her a contemplative smile and reached out for her hand. 

“And,” she continued, “all of your worry that you wouldn’t have cared for me if we had met when you were a Templar – rubbish! You’d have fallen for my charm even more back then.” She winked at him, which caused him to chuckle. 

“You turned back for me – during the attack. You risked your entire plan to save me from the demons.” He stared at her with a serious look on his face.

“Yes…” she whispered, “and I would do it all again, if I could. Apparently, I’ll save you – above all else.” She used his words from their last conversation. 

They sat there, staring at each other for a few moments, him gently stroking the top of her hand with his thumb. 

Cullen stood up. He had waited two weeks for Ellana’s return and he wasn’t interested in waiting a second more. He walked over to her and lifted her from the chair, placing her on the edge of his desk. He gently rested his hands on her thighs and felt her legs slowly open so that he could position himself in between them. His hands moved up to her hips and he pulled her close, while bending down to capture her lips in a kiss. 

Ellana’s legs tightened around him and she draped her arms around his neck, slightly tilting her head to the side and leaning further into the kiss. Cullen grabbed her from underneath her legs and roughly pulled her even closer to him. He was pressed entirely against her and hardened when he felt the heat radiating from between her legs. She broke the kiss and moaned. “Cullen…”

He pressed his lips against the side of her neck and began to place small kisses, while pushing his hardened member against her. “I want you.” He hoarsely whispered into her ear, “…I have for a long time.” 

Shivers ran up the entire length of her spine. She loved his voice like this: husky and filled with a raw hunger. She found herself all too willing to be devoured by him; pleading for his lips to consume her own, for his grip on her waist to tighten and never let go. Turning her head, she grabbed him in another kiss. She started to lean back on his desk, pulling him with her. She needed him: now, here and on this desk. 

“Ser – your presence is requested in the War Room. There is an urgent meeting, called by the Lady Seeker.” A scout yelled from outside the door. 

Cullen broke the kiss and grunted, “Are you serious…” Ellana flew her head back and groaned, “Of course there is.” 

“The Inquisitor is required as well. I uh – a few of the soldiers said that she may be in there with you…” the Scout nervously called through the door. 

“We’ll be right there.” Cullen replied. The Scout quietly left. 

They both stood up and began to fix their wrinkled clothing. Still in a lustful daze, Ellana lifted her fingers to her swollen lips and stood in quiet disbelief over the entirety of the moment: what had almost happened between them… and the fact that they had been interrupted. It was maddening: how quickly it had all ended, how quickly she had been pulled back from blissful utopia and hurled into reality – back to the Inquisition where he was the Commander…no longer just Cullen… 

She began heading towards the door when he grabbed her by the waist and pulled Ellana in for a gentle kiss. “I think we’ll need to continue this discussion at a later date,” he whispered, while brushing his hand through her long locks. 

Ellana was hypnotized by his caress, pleading for more and the ability to ignore the scout’s request. Unfortunately, she knew that was not an option. She mumbled in agreement and lightly ran her fingers along his armored chest plate, not yet trusting that coherence had retuned to her vocabulary; she felt starry-eyed and lightheaded in his presence. 

He let out a disappointed sigh and opened the door for her, leading towards the War Room. Cullen was hoping that Cassandra wasn’t about to make any arguments for which he disagreed – he wasn’t feeling exceptionally favorable or appreciative of the Seeker in that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading & commenting :D 
> 
> Next chapter... smutttt warning!! I'll mention where it falls so that if that's not your thing, you can skip over it. There will still be some cute moments which happen before that part.


	20. Breaking the Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I thought it would just be really funny to do a medieval version of ‘the Inquisition goes to a strip club’ chapter LOL. I also needed a way to progress things with Ellana and Cullen – they always get interrupted back at Skyhold, it seems :P 
> 
> Sooo with that said…. super smut warning towards the end of this chapter. If that’s not your thing, you can skip that part. It’s not impactful on the plot.

“Are we seriously taking off for Orlais in the middle of a war?” Cullen scoffed. 

Ellana was standing around the War Table with her advisors and much like Cullen, she was having a hard time understanding Josephine’s request. “I also think this is a waste of our time, I’m done trying to play nice and impress the High Court. We are dealing with much larger problems. You did hear about Corypheus and the Well – correct?” She threw her hands up.

“Yes, Inquisitor.” Josephine stepped in, “I remember and I sympathize that you will have to return to Orlais – I know it was not an enjoyable experience for you the last time.”

Ellana laughed, “That’s quite the understatement.”

“However,” Josephine continued, “It is in celebration of First Day! To refuse the invitation would…”

“Will I have to be around the Emperor?” Ellana cut in. “I did not enjoy our last conversation.”

“Unlikely.” Leliana spoke, “these celebrations are much larger than the Ball. Much more visitors, many more places to hide from unwanted suitors.” She winked at Ellana.

She sighed. “Fine, fine I’ll go. When do we have to depart?”

“Next week, Inquisitor.” Josephine smiled – she always won in these little arguments; why Ellana even bothered to try and avoid these political events, she had no idea. 

“Well if I’m to be miserable, you’re all going to be miserable with me!” Ellana called out as she left the War Room. “I mean it – everyone! I’m dragging you all along.” 

A few days later, they were heading out towards Orlais: Ellana, Cullen, Cassandra, Josephine, Dorian, Bull, Sera, Blackwall and Varric. Everyone else had developed some sort of excuse as to why they could not join. Leliana had ‘urgent matters’ to attend to at Skyhold – Ellana glared at her upon hearing the excuse; she believed none of it. She was however, thankful to hear that this trip would require far less formal wear and she was free to dress as she chose. Unfortunately, a mask would still be required… ‘Ugh, Orlais and their ridiculous festivities.’ Ellana grunted. 

Upon their arrival to Orlais, Ellana could immediately tell this was a very different celebration than the stuffy Ball she had attended; this was a party! People roamed the streets with celebratory drinks in hand and seemingly cheering for no particular reason, other than they encountered someone else with a drink in their hand. Ellana laughed, this was already a far more promising a visit. She excitedly walked into the Inn…

A few hours later, she was getting ready in her room with Dorian and Sera. The three of them had started the celebrations a little early; Dorian had swiped a bottle of Bordeaux from the table of a fancy Orlesian noble downstairs in the café. 

“Do I need to wear trousers?” Ellana giggled and turned towards her companions. 

“Tunic covers your arse – you’re good.” Sera gulped down the last of the wine. Dorian gave a clumsy thumbs up and winked, “Perfection, darling.” 

“Good, that settles it!” Ellana laughed – the three of them were already wasted. She pulled out her wool stockings, the ones that went up past her knees and slipped on her boots. She glanced at herself in the mirror: she certainly looked a little more risqué than usual… but that’s what the masks are for. No one would know who she was! She grabbed hers and slipped it over her head. “Let’s go!” she shouted and headed towards the main lobby to join the rest of their group. 

She turned the last corner of the stairwell and saw the rest of their companions sitting at the bar. Cullen blushed and shook his head when he saw her. 

“Ellana, you’re – you’re not wearing any trousers.” He stated, as if she hadn’t been aware. 

She laughed, “Why, thank you Cullen.” And then pointed towards the Inn door; it was propped open and outside, half of the townsfolk were walking around either scantily dressed or missing garments. “I’m finally starting to enjoy Orlais, you wish to ruin that for me?”

“No!” Josephine pointed a finger at Cullen. She never expected to hear those words from the Inquisitor! She’d be damned if the Commander ruined it. He chuckled and shook his head.

They ended up going to a tavern, of sorts; it had a stage in the middle of the first level where half naked men and women were dancing suggestively while drunken patrons threw bronze and silver coins onto the stage – certainly, no gold coins. Ellana laughed to herself, this did not seem like a place she’d have to worry about running into Gaspard. 

“Good stuff!” Bull had shouted when they first entered. Josephine had secured them a reserved table on the second level. She was surprising – that one. Josephine could mingle among the highest of nobility and yet she brought them to a place this like and enjoyed throwing back a few drinks with Dorian. Cassandra – on the other hand – had immediately halted and went back to the Inn when they first arrived at the tavern. There was no convincing her: she turned around and didn’t look back. 

As soon as the Inquisition members sat down at their table, a bar maiden brought over a few bottles of liquor and mugs of ale. They cheered each other, recognizing how nice it was to have a moment of peace and celebration, before doing a round of shots. 

An hour later, Ellana, Dorian and Sera had decided it was time to dance. They were standing in front of the group’s table, drunkenly and foolishly dancing to the live music, which played downstairs. Cullen and Varric had been laughing at them from the table for the last several minutes. 

“This is so much fun!” Ellana yelled to Dorian. He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Ellana smiled and whirled her hands up while spinning in a small circle to the music. She was very tipsy and slightly stumbled, which made her giggle. She looked back at the table to see the Commander was staring directly at her – he had seen her ‘graceful’ spin and was laughing while shaking his head. She smirked and gave him the middle finger while sticking out her tongue. 

“What’s goin’ on with the two of you?” Sera yelled into her ear, bringing Ellana’s attention back to her and Dorian.

“Who – the Commander?” Ellana coyly laughed. 

Sera glared at her.

“Not enough…” Ellana sighed. 

“What exactly does that mean?” Dorian questioned. 

Ellana leaned in towards her two dance partners and lowered her voice, “I don’t know… we keep almost having moments and… there’s always a meeting or a burning village or a stupid Ball or – ” 

“Or a crazy dead man trying to destroy the world?” Dorian finished for her.

Ellana laughed. “Yes, that. Nothing has happened… painfully nothing – except for a few kisses.” She quickly stole a glance at Cullen, who was engaged in a conversation with Blackwall. Groaning, she turned back to Dorian and Sera. “I’m getting… it’s getting to be frustrating. We have these moments where it feels like something is about to happen and then we get interrupted. I wish he would just…” 

“Fuck you?” Sera shouted.

“Sshhhhhh!” Ellana grabbed her by the shoulders, “Sera, be quiet!” She started laughing and felt the booze going to her head as she covered her face with her hands and embarrassingly nodded, “Creators, yes!” 

“Oh! My Dear, this is most certainly not acceptable.” Dorian threw up his hands and gave Ellana a devious grin. “I will take care of this for you.”

“That’s… what exactly do you mean by that?” She laughed. Ellana’s stomach dropped as Dorian turned around and began walking back to the table. ‘Oh no!’ Ellana’s eyes widened; he was walking directly over to the Commander. This was going to be a disaster… Sera was laughing hysterically and grabbed two shots off a passing bar maiden, passing one to Ellana; “Think you’ll be wanting this.” Ellana closed her eyes and threw back the shot. What in Creator’s name was Dorian doing!

She horrifically watched as Dorian sat down beside the Commander and leaned towards him, whispering something. Cullen’s eyes widened and he looked at Ellana. Her face was the color of a fresh summer tomato – she was sure of it. His face blushed as well and he cast his eyes back down to the table. 

Ellana was going to murder Dorian! She was actually standing there, beginning to formulate a plan on how exactly she would do it, when Cullen stood up and began to walk towards her. “Oh, shit!” Sera whispered. 

Cullen walked up to Ellana, grabbed her by the waist and kissed her. Sera quickly slinked back to the table, not wanting to be involved that. The other Inquisition members blinked in astonishment. Dorian sat there grinning like a mother hen; he was immensely proud of himself. 

Ellana wrapped her arms around Cullen’s neck as he pulled her closer to him. Their masks kept bumping into each other and were getting in the way, “I hate this stupid thing…” Ellana mumbled. 

Cullen suddenly bent down and picked Ellana up – she gasped a little, out a shock. He carried her within his arms and started walking towards the exit stairway. Ellana glanced back at Dorian, who was lifting his mug and wishing her a good evening. She blew a small kiss towards him and then turned back to look at Cullen. He had the same look on his face during that day in his office, when they were sitting on his desk… before the scout had interrupted them… Ellana moved her lips to his neck and began placing light kisses. She could tell it was driving him crazy – his hands tightened their grip on her legs and torso. Ellana felt a little woozy being carried sideways like this and the walk back to the Inn felt as though it lasted forever. 

Finally, they were standing at the door to the Inn. Cullen placed her down and took hold of her hand, leading her up to his room. Ellana tried to steady her breathing – Creators, she had wanted this for so long. Ellana walked into Cullen’s room and he immediately closed the door and threw her against it. He grabbed her by the hips and caught her in another kiss, pressing her up against the door. Ellana threw an arm around his neck, while running the fingers of her other hand through his hair and grabbing at the side of his face. 

“Cullen…” she moaned, as he grabbed her thigh and began to lift one of her legs up, wrapping it around his torso. She wasn’t wearing anything on the bottom except for her undergarments, and Cullen was in much lighter fabric trousers than his usual battle leathers. Ellana could feel him hardening and pressing into her core through their thin layers. Her ribs twitched in anticipation – she would literally kill anyone who interrupted them right now. 

“Ellana,” he whispered into her ear. 

“Mmmm…”

“Ellana, I – I don’t want our first time to be like this… when we’ve both been drinking.”

Ellana’s eyes shot open. ‘Oh you have to be kidding me….’ she frantically thought. 

He began running his hands over her hips and thighs. “That doesn’t mean I won’t do… other things to you tonight.” He leaned in and began kissing her neck and shoulder. 

“Oh?” Ellana mumbled, while throwing her head back against the door. She angled her hips so that she could press further into him and he closed his eyes, while moaning her name, “Ellana…” he placed his hand on her thigh and slowly started moving his hand closer in between her legs. She bit her lip and prepared herself for his touch. When it happened, Ellana felt her entire body shiver; the warmness from his fingers, gently stroking over her undergarments – Ellana felt the warmth travel up through her face and she looked at him. His eyes were hazy and he was watching her, enjoying seeing how he was making her feel. 

She closed her eyes and was getting into the rhythm of his fingers quickly stroking back and forth on her cunt when he suddenly stopped and grabbed her by the waist, before throwing her down on the bed. Her legs hung off the side and he brought his hands up the side of her thighs until he made contact with her undergarments. Ellana’s breathing deepened as her grabbed the thin fabric and began to pull them down over her legs before discarding them onto the floor. He gave her a devious grin and began to kneel down, positioning himself in between her legs. Ellana threw her head back and bit down on her lower lip – she wasn’t expecting this and – oh Creators, this was too much. 

Ellana’s legs impulsively flinched when she felt his tongue slowly flick over her. He wrapped his arms around her legs and pulled her down further towards him. Ellana grabbed onto the bed’s quilt as he began to slowly lick her: light licks, teasing licks. His hands tightened their grip on the side of her legs as he began to pick up his pace, gliding his tongue back and forth across her, circling her entry. Ellana was panting and arching her back – it was too good. She wasn’t going to last much longer. 

Her head was whirling and she felt intense heat start to form in her lower stomach. He was bringing her there; she could feel her orgasm building and her stomach began twitching. It felt like a wave building up within and soon it would crash over her... Cullen suddenly stopped and began kissing the inside of her thigh. She looked down at him with a desperate plea.

“I don’t think so…” he mumbled in between nibbles to her inner thigh, “not yet.” 

Ellana sighed, “Creators, Cullen... I – oh that’s cruel…” she lightly laughed. 

He raised himself up to her face and caught her in a kiss. Lifting her tunic over her head, he placed his hands down on the bed and held himself up to take in her body. She blushed – she was completely naked underneath him and yet he wore all of his clothes. “You could join me…” she started pawing at his shirt.

“Maker’s Breath, you are beautiful.” He whispered, before bending down to kiss her. Ellana grabbed at his shirt and pulled it over his head. She glanced down and found herself somewhat drooling over how chiseled his chest was. Ellana wanted to throw herself on top of him and lick his entire body… 

Before she could do anything, Cullen leaned down to kiss her and wrapped her legs around his waist. He began pumping into her, even though his pants were still on, and kissing her. Ellana felt how hard his member was and moaned. He began moving himself against her and stroking Ellana’s core with his bulge. His hand reached up and lightly stroked her nipple, while nibbling at her neck. After a few moments, Ellana felt herself building again. She tightened her grip around his waist, desperately wanting to keep him there until they both came and she felt his wetness pour onto her. He picked up that she was getting close again and pulled away. 

“Cullen!” Ellana threw her head back, “I can’t, this is – ” she was breathing heavily. He was driving her wild. 

He smirked and began lowering himself back down, placing a trail of kisses from her neck – quickly flicking her nipple a few times with his tongue – following her vallaslin back down to her hips and resting in between her legs. He began rubbing her with his thumb. “How badly do you want it?” His voice was husky and dark. 

“So badly…” Ellana whispered. She hadn’t expected him to… have this in him… she liked it – a lot. 

“I don’t believe you.” His thumb was beginning to rub faster.

“I do – I want it.” Ellana cried out.

“Beg.” He brought his mouth back to her core and began to lick.

“Please!” She called out, “Please, Cullen! Please…”

His tongue pushed into her and she felt her entire body flash up in heat. She threw her head back as he licked into her and grabbed at her hips. Ellana was in a trance, her mind was blank and incoherent, she could barely breath… and suddenly it washed over her. She moaned, loudly, as she came. Screaming for him to keep going and grabbing at the blankets above her head.

Moments later, she was finished and he gently pulled back from her, closing her legs and lifting himself up to lay on the bed beside her. Ellana shuffled up to bring her legs upon the bed and looked over at him; he was smiling and reached out to grab the side of her face, pulling her in for a kiss. Ellana’s legs were furiously shaking and she rolled onto her side so she was no longer required to hold them up. He lifted out an arm and she snuggled into the side of him. 

Glancing down and noticing that he was still hard, she whispered into his ear, “well… I think it might be your turn.” She snaked her hand down and stroked him over his pants. He closed his eyes and tightened his grip on her waist. “You’re lucky,” she licked the side of his neck, “I’m going to be much kinder to you than you were to me…”

“I’m sure I’ll pay for it another night.” He chucked.

“Oh, that you will…” she unlaced his trousers in the front and reached her hand down into them, grabbing onto his erection. He closed his eyes and threw his head back. She continued kissing and licking the side of his neck while stroking his member up and down with her tiny hand. Ellana glanced down to get a peak at it and found herself shocked; that was going to… be a tight fit whenever they… Ellana blushed and return her gaze to Cullen. 

She quickly lifted herself up and straddled him, flicking her wrist to continue stroking him while gazing into his eyes. He grabbed her by the thighs and his fingers began to twitch – she could tell he was close. Picking up her pace, she quickly brought him to orgasm and smiled as some of his seed landed on her thigh. She bent down to kiss him and he grabbed at her, bringing her back down to his side. They fell asleep that evening, gazing into each other’s eyes. 

Ellana woke up the next morning wrapped in Cullen’s arms, feeling overwhelmingly happy and rejuvenated. 

“Good morning, beautiful.” He kissed her. 

“Mmm, good morning…” she nuzzled back. “Last night…”

“Was incredible.” He finished. She smiled and nodded. “Let’s go get something to eat before we head back.” He kissed her cheek before starting to get out of bed. 

They walked into the Inn’s café and found the rest of their group already seated at a large table. Dorian, Bull and Varric began to clap. “Well, look who it is! The two love birds.” Varric sang. 

“Oh, stop…” Ellana smiled as she sat down. 

“Yes, please – stop.” Cassandra grunted. “I heard quite enough about it last evening.”

Ellana looked at her with a confused look, “What does that mean?”

“It means…” Cassandra glared at Ellana and Cullen, “that I have the room next to Cullen. And so I am asking can we pleaseeee stop talking about it.” She placed such an emphasis on the word that Ellana and Cullen instantly knew just how much she had heard; they deeply blushed. 

“Oh… dear. Cassandra… I’m sorry….” Ellana stammered. “That’s – yeah, that’s unfortunate. Our apologies.” She covered her face with her hands. 

“The best part!” Cassandra started again, “was that, eventually, I decided to find Dorian to either ask him to switch rooms with me or to go in there and tell you both to be quiet.”

Dorian began to laugh, “Yes – that was a mistake, indeed.” 

Ellana raised an eyebrow, “Why?”

“Because!” Cassandra continued, “When he opened his door…” she blushed. Ellana waited for Cassandra to speak further. 

“She saw a bit more than she was anticipating.” Bull cut in and smirked. They all turned to look at him with complete surprise. “Well – a lot more, actually… a big lot more.” Bull winked.

“Ah!’ Sera yelled. 

“Too much, far too much information.” Blackwall shook his head. 

“Yes, I agree.” Cassandra shrunk in her chair. “It was a miserable evening and I am ready to go home.”

Ellana’s mouth hung open and she looked at Dorian. How exactly had he overshadowed her evening with the Commander? She laughed and shook her head at his sheepish grin. Well, they both had a fun evening – good for them! 

Ellana turned to look at Cullen and they smiled at each other. “Oh geez, you two gonna be doing that all the time, now?” Sera scoffed at them. 

Cullen reached out and grabbed Ellana’s hand underneath the table. He squeezed her hand twice – just as he did in Skyhold when they first arrived. Ellana gazed into his eyes and smiled to herself, as she fully admitted that once again – just like at Kinloch Hold – she had completely fallen for him.


	21. An Old Friend Visits

The Inquisition members returned to Skyhold later that evening. Ellana was exhausted; she felt very hung-over and was looking forward to having an early night’s rest. 

“Commander – you have a visitor in your private quarters, Ser.” One of the soldiers on guard at the gate spoke to Cullen. 

Ellana raised an eyebrow and gave him an amused grin. “A visitor, hmm? This late?”

His face reddened as he looked back at the guard, “Wh – what? In my quarters?”

“Yes, Ser. He wished for his name to be kept a surprise, but Lady Leliana confirmed we could allow him access.”

“He?” Dorian now raised an eyebrow at the Commander.

Ellana laughed as Cullen’s face transitioned to a deeper shade of red. This was clearly of business matters and, although she was slightly curious of Cullen’s late night visitor, she was more interested in catching up on some sleep. She’d check in with him in the morning. “Good night, everyone.” She called out as she began heading up the castle steps to her room. 

Cullen walked his steed to the stable and headed towards his quarters. He was very confused about who this supposed visitor could be… he certainly wasn’t expecting anyone. Adding further confusion was the fact that Leliana seemed to know of them… Cullen was wracking his brain trying to figure out who was waiting for him, when it finally clicked.

‘What in Andraste’s name would he be doing here?’ Cullen wondered. It didn’t make any sense, but it had to be him… Cullen opened the door to his office and sure enough – he could see the sandy hair and thick armor sitting in his second chair; even with his back turned towards the door, there was no mistaking him. 

“Alistair, what in Maker’s name are you doing here?” Cullen chuckled. 

“Well, I heard you were here trying to save the world but when I arrive, where are you? Off to Orlais for a party! Quite a different approach than what I took …” Alistair grinned and got up to grab Cullen’s hand in a welcoming embrace. “Sounds like a damn good thing that I’ve arrived!”

“It’s been far too long.” Cullen laughed and sat down at his desk, motioning for Alistair to do the same. “Jokes aside – tell me, where have you been? I was surprised when you were not with the rest of the Grey Wardens at Adamant Fortress. Relieved, but surprised.”

“Ah… yes…” Alistair appeared to lose himself in thought for a few moments, reliving past horrors and struggling to pull his mind back to the present moment. Cullen quietly let his friend have a few moments of quiet – he was all too familiar with that feeling. 

“Well,” Alistair started again, “Before the Calling started, Hawke had approached me about the growing presence of Red Lyrium, popping up all across Thedas. I was deep into my investigation when the Grey Warden of Orlais began to hear the Calling. I heard it as well, but I could tell something was off about this one – it didn’t feel… right. I already had suspicions of corruption in the Grey Warden ranks and so I went into hiding: mostly in Crestwood. I had heard of your Inquisition and planned on visiting earlier but – ” Alistair’s eyes filled with sadness. “Then I learned that Hawke did not return with your Inquisitor from the Fortress. I felt it was best to observe your Leader for a little while longer before identifying myself…”

“Alistair – that was a deeply unfortunate incident. I can assure you, Hawke chose to – ”

“Yes – yes I know.” Alistair cut in. “I’ve heard. I wasn’t sure back then, but I understand now.”

Cullen nodded. “Ellana – our Inquisitor, would never have allowed… if she had known what Hawke was planning…”

Alistair gave Cullen a sheepish grin. “Yes, I’ve also heard about your Inquisitor and how close you two have become.” He raised an eyebrow at Cullen, which brought on a new round of blushing. “I suppose it is finally your turn.”

Cullen attempted to keep the massive grin from spreading across his face but was very unsuccessful. “Yes well…please pass along my thanks to Leliana for apparently ensuring that you are all caught up,” he cleared his throat. “She’s a very strong leader – Ellana. We’re in good hands.” 

“Mm-hmm…sounds like you are.” Alistair laughed. 

“So, why are you here?” Cullen blushed and brought the conversation back to business. 

*******************************************************************************

The next morning, Ellana heard a knock on her chamber door while she was in the process of getting ready for the day. “Come in!” 

She was a little surprised to see Cullen and slightly hesitated on how to approach him. They hadn’t really discussed how to interact with one another after their trip to Orlais… but Ellana had experienced a taste of unrestrained affection with the Commander and she wasn’t willing to let that go anytime soon… she walked over and gave him a morning kiss, which he eagerly reciprocated. 

She happily smiled up at him. “Why, hello Commander. What can I do for you this morning?” 

“I have some news for you, actually.” He sat down on the edge of her bed. 

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with your visitor last night, would it?” she sat down beside him on the bed and chuckled. 

Cullen explained to her that an old friend of his had arrived wanting to lend his assistance to the Inquisition. Alistair had spent the last several months extensively researching red lyrium and had information that could prove invaluable in finding a way to destroy Sampson’s red lyrium suit.

Ellana’s pulse quickened with excitement at the idea of finally bring down Sampson and his lyrium suit; she knew Cullen had been dwelling on this problem for months and had a special background with Sampson. If one of his old friends could help him bring the man down, that was the icing on the cake. 

“That’s fantastic, Cullen.” She lifted her hand to his forearm and gave him a warm smile. He looked excited and hopeful about this – Ellana could count on one hand how many times she had seen that look on the Commander’s face since this whole mess began; she loved seeing him like this. 

“Yes, I feel very good about it.” Cullen beamed. “You’ll have to meet him, he’s quite the character.”

Ellana rose from the bed to finish getting herself ready for the day – she had a meeting with Josephine in a few moments to discuss potential alliances. “I’ve heard quite a few stories about him. He was also a Templar, correct?”

Instantly, Ellana regretted bringing up the subject. Cullen’s shoulders tensed and she could see pain spread across his face, recalling that part of his life. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, placing a light kiss on his lips. “I’m sorry, Cullen. I didn’t mean to… you’re excited about Sampson and I am as well – that is what we should be focusing on right now.”

“No – no, it’s okay.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, “I was just thinking about how, yes – I suppose he was also a Templar. I just, it’s odd… sometimes I forget that part about him. He left before the point where you are required to take lyrium and so…”

“And so he had a much easier time walking away from it than you did.” Ellana laid her head down on Cullen’s chest. How lucky, this Alistair was – in that respect. 

“Mm…” Cullen contemplatively chuckled, “I suppose we do have quite a few things in common…”

Ellana wanted to ask what Cullen meant by that, but realized she was late for her meeting with Josephine and so she had to run. She told Cullen that she’d catch up with him later and try to find time to meet Alistair at some point. 

After her meeting with Josephine, Ellana decided to go check out the new seeds she had planted in Skyhold’s Garden. On their last outing, she had found a pocket of truly rare seedlings and had excitedly scoped them into her cloak, eagerly awaiting the chance to see if she could produce flowers back at the Castle. ‘No flowers.’ Ellana frowned, but there was still a chance. The soil was moist and the weather had been rather warm recently. 

“Please tell me the rumors are false.” 

“Good Morning, Morrigan.” Ellana turned around and prepared herself for whatever favor Morrigan was preparing to ask – for surely that was why she had approached Ellana. Morrigan had been helpful to the Inquisition since her arrival – she had told them about the Well and offered to fight with them – but Ellana always had a feeling that she wanted something when they spoke. All of her conversations felt very… opportunistic. 

“Our newest visitor.” Morrigan glared, “Is he really here?”

“Oh, you mean Alistair?” Ellana was puzzled. “Yes, he and Cullen know each other back from…” that’s when Ellana recalled that both Alistair and Morrigan had travelled with the Hero of Ferelden during the last Blight. “Ah, that’s right! I forget that you, Cullen, Leliana and Alistair have that history. Yes, he’s here – he’s with Cullen, I believe. If you’d like to say hello?”

Morrigan scoffed, “No, I would not like to say hello. I would like to know why he is here and when he’ll be leaving.”

“He’s here to help Cullen with some research on Sampson’s red lyrium suit and I have no idea when he’ll be leaving… do the two of you have some sort of history?” Ellana must have touched on a nerve; Morrigan sharply turned around and left. Ellana raised an eyebrow as she watched the mysterious woman walk away and disappear into one of the castle’s doors. ‘Interesting…’ 

“So that’s why we have another Grey Warden walking our halls this morning – to help with research. Is that how far the Grey Warden’s have fallen?” 

Ellana cringed at the sound of Vivienne’s voice behind her. ‘My two favorite female Mages this morning… how lucky am I…’ Ellana sarcastically thought. 

“Vivienne, what can I do for you?”

“Ah, my dear. I am just stopping by to say hello! Like most of the castle, I was very interested in our newest guests’ purpose. Red lyrium, very interesting.” 

Ellana frowned; she didn’t trust Vivienne and would have preferred to keep that information away from her. Vivienne hadn’t technically given Ellana a reason to not trust her… but she also hadn’t done anything to inspire confidence. Considering that she was sent to them as Gaspard’s spy, Ellana’s trust was going to be very hard to earn. 

“What an interesting man, that Alistair is.” Vivienne continued, “It must be so odd seeing him with your Commander.”

“And why is that, Vivienne?”

“Why? Because of how similar the two are! It is quite unusual to see the three of you here, in one place – at Skyhold. My dear, you and the Commander echo a love story that has already been written; and it has a rather sad ending. Best to avoid all of that, if you were to ask me. If you do not know of what I speak, perhaps you should discuss it with your beloved.”

Ellana narrowed her eyes and watched the Enchanter walk away. She did not like the tone in Vivienne’s voice; clearly she knew something that Ellana didn’t… what did she mean by an echoed love story? Ellana decided to ask Cullen about it that evening and try to put it out of her mind, for now.

After dinner, Ellana quickly excused herself and headed towards Cullen’s chambers. She had done her best to ignore Vivienne’s strange warning earlier in the garden, but it had bothered her for the entire day. She knocked on his door and was thankful to see that he was alone.

“Ellana, I had hoped you’d stop by.” He gave her a light kiss on the forehead. 

Ellana smiled, she thoroughly enjoyed that they were being more affectionate with each other. “I had a very strange conversation with Vivienne earlier today.” 

Cullen furrowed his brow, “That doesn’t sound very good. What did she have to say?”

“She seemed very interested in your friend, Alistair. So did Morrigan actually – she seemed very upset that he was here. Know anything about that?”

Cullen chuckled, “They have… history. Best to keep those two separated.”

Ellana nodded… clearly there was more to that story. She returned to her thoughts to Vivienne, “She mentioned something about how similar you both are – it was odd. She made a comment about how we were a repetition of someone else’s story, or something like that… and how it ended poorly. Do you know what she could be talking about?” 

Cullen let out a deep breath and grunted, “Why do we keep her here?”

“You do know! What is it?”

“Well, I don’t know the entire story… but yes, I know what she is referencing – and it is cruel for her to have brought it up to you in that way.” Ellana could see Cullen’s shoulders tense as he continued, “The Hero of Ferelden, you recall she was an Elven Mage?”

Ellana nodded. Yes – of course she remembered. It sent shock throughout all of Thedas that an Elven Mage had been the one to defeat the Archdemon. Even though she was a Circle Elf, her death hit many of the Elves hard, including the Dalish. Ellana remembered how strongly her Clan had mourned the Hero’s sacrifice in killing the Archdemon and ending the Blight. 

“Alistair and the Hero of Ferelden were… involved. For a while, actually, during their time together as Grey Wardens.”

Ellana’s eyes grey wide – she certainly did not know about this part of the story. 

Cullen continued, “Like I said, I don’t know everything… but some events occurred which, at one point, looked like there was an opportunity for Alistair to be named King. At some point, he and the Hero of Ferelden ended things, and then the plan on Alistair being King also fell through. That’s all I know – and then, she died at the Battle of Denerim. I’ve never asked him about it. I assume it’s too painful…”

Ellana heard rumors of this story; people whispered that Alistair had been put forward as an Heir, but it was never confirmed and after the War, Arona remained Queen – ruling Ferelden on her own. 

“Well, that doesn’t sound like us.” Ellana was confused. “I mean, yes – I’m an Elf and I’m a Mage… and you were a Templar. Is that really all she meant? Because one Elf and a Templar didn’t work out before, we’re doomed?” She laughed.

“Who knows…” Cullen had a strange look on his face. He had a feeling that Lady Vivienne knew something… something more about the events than what Alistair had told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of Cullen & Alistair being bros and have some funny dialogue planned between them. Also some exciting upcoming events! Poor Alistair had a rough time in Origins for the purpose of this story :(


	22. Alistair’s Tragic Love Story

Ellana was on her way to check in with Dorian when she noticed Cullen and an unknown man standing in the courtyard with the recruits. ‘That must be Alistair.’ It was a perfect opportunity for her to go down and say hello.

“I hope you’re not working the recruits too hard today, Commander.” 

Cullen shot a warm smile her way, “Not hard enough, I’m afraid. They’re far too interested in asking endless questions about the Blight to this one.” He signaled towards Alistair. “Alistair, meet our Inquisitor.” 

“Please, call me Ellana. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Alistair.” She held out her hand for a welcoming handshake. 

“The pleasure is all mine.” He smiled.

“How has your stay in Skyhold been so far? Have we given you suitable lodgings?” 

“Oh yes, everything is more than fine.”

“Perfect.” Ellana smiled. “Well I just wanted to come down and say hello, I won’t keep you from the recruits. Cullen – perhaps we could all have a drink tonight at the Tavern? I would love to hear all of the embarrassing stories you could possibly tell me about this one…” she pointed towards Cullen and grinned towards Alistair. 

Alistair laughed, “Certainly! I’m sure I could recall one or two…” Cullen sent a half joking glare towards him. 

“I’ll see you boys later then.” Ellana laughed and turned to go meet Dorian. 

“Cullen,” Alistair turned towards his friend with a sheepish grin, “You mentioned she was beautiful and yet still did her injustice. So… curious… just how serious are the two of you?” 

“Not funny. Don’t even think about it.” Cullen raised an eyebrow and returned to the recruits. 

Later that evening, Ellana had finished reviewing requisition paperwork with Cassandra and began walking towards the Tavern to meet Cullen and Alistair. Ellana smiled – it was nice seeing Cullen enjoying himself with an old friend. Ellana would often see him smiling and laughing when it was just the two of them – and Cassandra and the Commander were quite close – but other than that, Cullen rarely let his guard down and relaxed with the other companions. True, this was work related – Cullen and Alistair had been researching red lyrium and Sampson’s suit for the last few days, but it was clear that he trusted Alistair and felt as though he could be himself around him. 

She walked into the Tavern and saw the two men sitting at a table near the back. She quickly stopped at the bar and ordered another round of ale and then went over to join them, taking a seat beside Cullen. He smiled when he saw her and placed his arm around the back of her chair, stroking her shoulder with his thumb. ‘Interesting…’ Ellana smirked, that was certainly something new. 

“I see I’m a few drinks behind.” Ellana laughed at the pile of empty mugs on the table. “I’ll have to catch up!”

The next few hours were quite enjoyable for the three of them: Cullen and Alistair drunkenly ranted about the Chantry and their Templar training days, Alistair recounted a few stories of his adventure during the Blight and Ellana got to hear about the time when Cullen got his sword stuck in the practice dummy at their Templar training grounds; unable to pull the sword out from the thick leathers, he was forced to attend their first official lesson without a sword in his sheath – Alistair swore he could see the Knight-Commander’s veins ready to pop from his outrage. Ellana was overjoyed and wouldn’t be letting him live down that one any time soon. 

“Maker’s Breath…” Cullen cringed and buried his face in his hands. 

“Aw,” Ellana laughed, “Don’t worry, I still find you quite impressive – and you’ve become much better with your hands.” She smirked and grabbed the side of his face to give him a quick kiss. 

“You two…” Alistair poured himself another pint while laughing and shaking his head, “Cullen, how in sweet Andraste did you manage to find yourself this?”

Ellana jokingly sat tall and flicked her hair back while giving Cullen a gloating grin. “Yes, Cullen – how did you manage to find someone so beautiful and so charming??” She laughed as he rolled his eyes at her and then leaned in for another kiss. 

“I don’t know, but I am a lucky man.” He whispered to her. Ellana’s heart swelled. 

“Just don’t do what I did and screw it all up…” a drunken mumble came from Alistair. 

Ellana was curious and decided to press him for more information. “What do you mean?” Cullen motioned for her to drop it but she kept her gaze on Alistair, waiting for a response.

He sighed, “I was an idiot. I had a beautiful Elven lover once… what a fool I was! Deserved to lose her…”

“Don’t speak like that, Alistair.” Cullen patted his friends arm, “I’m sure you didn’t – ”

“I did.” Alistair cut him off, “I messed it all up… thinking that I was doing what was best, to be King…” 

Ellana could tell that Alistair was drunk and felt like they shouldn’t continue to press the issue in his current state, but she was also interested to hear more… “Are the rumors true then? You had a chance at the throne?” 

“Yes.” He sighed, “It was floated around as an option before Loghain died. I didn’t want it – not really… but they made a solid argument… thought I would be doing what was best for Ferelden.”

“Why didn’t it work out?” Ellana asked.

“I decided that I no longer wanted it – couldn’t go through with… I was starting to go down a path that no longer felt… right.”

“Such as?” Ellana pressed.

“You don’t need to continue talking about this, Alistair.” Cullen cut in. 

“Yes – I’m sorry,” Ellana caught herself, “I shouldn’t have asked, we should talk about something else.”

“No – No it’s fine…” Alistair somberly continued, “I was in love with her – the Hero of Ferelden.” He said the title with an over-exaggerated tone. “To me, she was just Neria. We were in love; travelling together across Ferelden, the only two Grey Wardens left. It never… meant anything to me that she was an Elf, or a Mage – but it meant a great deal to… others.”

Ellana raised an eyebrow… she didn’t like where this was going.

“When I thought I was to be King, I – ” he sighed and slumped his head into his hands on the table, “I knew that Ferelden would never accept an Elven Queen… the comments and accusations that she would endure if we kept… so I – I broke it off. I told her that it would no longer work between us, for that reason.” 

Cullen glanced over at Ellana and noticed her nostrils slightly flared. “You were trying to do what was best for Ferelden. It was a mistake but… you had good intentions.” He attempted to defuse the situation. 

Ellana stiffened in her chair. She didn’t really know what to say to something like that.

Alistair sighed, “Does it matter?” He sat there, gloomy staring out the Tavern window for a few moments before continuing, “So I thought, yes – I’ll be King. I’ll do my best for Ferelden and try to forget that I was just a royal ass to the love of my life. We kept on with our task – to defeat the Archdemon. Ran into some difficulty when we realized the damn thing was unkillable; it would just spread its nasty little taint onto the nearest darkspawn and keep on living. Morrigan came up with a plan, that ritual of hers…” He said her name with disgust. 

“A ritual?” Cullen asked.

“Yes… blood magic!” Alistair yelled, “Of all things… and forced her to come to me… asking me to… I said yes. I would do anything for her. Just as it was about to happen I – I couldn’t do it. I thought about all of the foolish things that I had agreed to the last few weeks: ending it with Neria to chase the throne, about to participate in blood magic with Morrigan… I had lost myself.”

Alistair took a gulp of ale before he continued, “I planned to try and earn whatever sort of redemption I could at that point – do whatever I could to try and make it up to her. I was to slay the Archdemon and… I would die. I wanted her to live and not to have been involved in something that she wouldn’t be able to walk away from… something that Morrigan so easily wanted to involve her in.” Tears began to form in his eyes. “I should have known better… should’ve known that she would… she delivered the final blow before I could save her. She died – sacrificed herself… and now I’m just the fool who screwed it all up, twice.”

Ellana and Cullen quietly lowered their eyes. Ellana was upset over the ordeal of ending things with the Hero because she was an Elf… but her heart broke for Alistair in that moment. It was clear that he was a broken man who lost the love of his life and deeply regretted it. Ellana felt Cullen’s hand slip into hers; she closed her eyes and held onto his hand tightly. She couldn’t imagine losing him. 

“Well, haven’t I just made this entire evening depressing!” Alistair attempted a laugh and drowned the last of his ale. “Sorry about that… I suppose I just…” he looked up at Cullen and Ellana. “I suppose I just hope you can learn from my foolish mistakes… perhaps I can save you both some pain…”

“Which one? Falling in love with an Elven Mage or screwing it all up?” Ellana had meant it as a joke, but it had came off a little aggressive… “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound – ” she stammered. 

“No, it’s okay. I deserve that.” Alistair sadly smiled. “Besides,” he got up from his chair and laid a hand on Cullen’s shoulder as he walked by, “I think only one of those things are avoidable, at this point.” He lightly chuckled and then drunkenly walked out of the Tavern. 

Ellana and Cullen blushed and couldn’t meet each other’s eyes for a few moments. Eventually, Cullen regained his composure and sighed. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Mmm….” Ellana sadly agreed. “Yes, that’s so… sad – like truly. I can’t imagine…” 

They looked at each other for a few moments; each considering what life would look like if the other were not around… Ellana reached out and grabbed hold of Cullen’s hand. “I’m sorry if I came off… rude…I just, it was hard to hear that…”

“No, I understand.” Cullen stroked the top of her hand with his thumb. 

“Well, I still feel bad. I’ll talk with him tomorrow. I don’t want to be… adding to his pain. You can tell he chastises himself over it…” Ellana threw back the rest of her pint. “What a shitty world we live in!” She laughed, “Full of shitty people who force others into shitty decisions.” 

Cullen laughed and drowned the rest of his pint, “Agreed.”

Ellana reached out for his hand again and gazed into his eyes, “Please don’t go anywhere… you certainly make it a little less shitty for me.” She smiled. 

“Only a little?” He grinned and leaned in to kiss her. 

“Maybe slightly more than a little…” she whispered and grabbed onto the side of his face as they kissed.


	23. Uncomfortable Reunions

The next morning, Ellana was on her way to track down Alistair when Morrigan called her over, claiming they needed to speak – urgently. Ellana found an empty room on the first level of the castle and sat down on one of the empty crates.

“Good Morning Morrigan.” She couldn’t help but recall the conversation with Alistair from the previous evening and found herself curiously wondering what ritual Morrigan had approached him with all those years ago. Ellana wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about blood magic. She wasn’t on the Chantry’s level of resenting it, but she also didn’t support it… she’d certainly never want to practice it, herself. It wasn’t very surprising to hear that Morrigan would practice it – if required. 

“Inquisitor, I have information that will make it a good morning – indeed. The Well of Sorrows; I’ve found its location.” 

Ellana jumped up, “Really? Morrigan, that’s fantastic! Do we know if Corypheus has the location, as well?”

“It does not look like it. I’ll suggest that we depart immediately and I’ll be expecting to join you on this mission.”

Ellana sighed. Cullen was not going to like this – at all. Truthfully, she didn’t even like it… she didn’t trust Morrigan. But, she found the place and so Ellana understood why she would want to be there for it. “Of course, Morrigan. I can be ready to go in a few hours. I’ll discuss with my Advisors and determine who else we’ll bring.”

“I’ll be waiting – might I suggest a smaller group? To draw less attention.”

“Yes.” Ellana agreed, “No more than four of us. Sounds good to me.”

Ellana found Cullen sitting at his desk with Alistair. “Perfect! I was actually looking for both of you. You’ve made my morning much easier.” She grabbed a third chair from the corner and pulled it up to his desk.

“Inquisitor – I would like to apologize for last night, I… had a little too much to drink and…” Alistair began.

“Oh! No – ” Ellana cut him off, “Actually that is why I was looking for you. I wanted to apologize for coming off… I just don’t want you to think that I’m judging you or holding any of your decisions… it’s difficult navigating having feelings for someone while you’re trying to stop the world from ending!” She nervously laughed, “It can… certainly become complicated and you wonder how you’ll possibly end up not screwing everything up…” Ellana’s voice trailed off. 

Cullen’s face reddened and he turned to glance at the window. 

“Anyways, I just… I’m sorry if I came off angry.” Ellana regained her composure.

“Not at all.” Alistair smiled.

“Now, I have some other news,” Ellana was all too pleased to switch their conversation back to Inquisition matters. “Morrigan has found the Well of Sorrows! I’ll be leaving in a few hours with her to depart for its location.” 

“You’ll be what?” Cullen quickly turned back to Ellana. “With Morrigan?”

“Yes,” she placed a hand on his arm. “I know, I also don’t trust her but she found the place and she has a vested interest in helping us. To keep her from joining me there would… well, it would be sending a very strong message that we are no longer interested in her help; and we may still need her help. So, she’s coming with me – and yes, I will be careful.” 

Both Cullen and Alistair stood up abruptly from their chairs and began listing off reasons as to why Morrigan should not accompany Ellana to the Well of Sorrows and how she was making a big mistake.

Ellana was becoming mildly agitated, “The both of you! Speaking as if I can’t take care of myself. If I tell you that I don’t trust Morrigan and that I will watch out – then that’s what I will do. She is one person – I can take care of myself!” She turned around and stormed out of Cullen’s office. She hadn’t even arrived at the part of asking Cullen for advice regarding who should accompany them! He had instantly started criticizing her decision to bring Morrigan. 

Cullen rested his hands against his desk and let out a sigh. They had probably overstepped yelling at Ellana like that, but... he worried about her – deeply; and he didn’t trust Morrigan. 

“You can’t let her go alone with Morrigan!” Alistair threw his hands up. 

“I know…” Cullen shook his head and sighed. “Let me go talk to her, I shouldn’t have been so… harsh about it. She is the Inquisitor and if she decides that Morrigan should go…”

“Well, for Maker’s Sake! We’ll go as well, then.” Alistair suggested. “If it means keeping Morrigan from getting her hands on… whatever it is that she wants there.”

Cullen liked that idea: being able to accompany Ellana in the field for once. The soldiers were doing fine and they weren’t expecting a new batch of recruits for a while longer. He could go with her and keep an eye on Morrigan – it was perfect, actually. Now, he just needed to apologize to Ellana and run the idea by her… 

Ellana was angry with Cullen for how strongly he had challenged her; she understood that he was coming from a place of concern but she wasn’t a hopeless little girl who couldn’t fight; she could take care of herself! After a few moments of angry pacing, she starting thinking about how she would feel if the situation was reversed: if Cullen was making the decision to travel with Morrigan and Ellana had been the one listening to the decision without any say. Ellana blushed; she’d be furious, terrified of something happening to him and she’d probably yell at him that he was making a foolish mistake. ‘Damn.’ She further turned red as she realized that he had only reacted in the exact way she would have. 

She let out a sigh and opened her door, preparing to go track down Cullen and apologize. Except, there he was: at her door, with his hand raised and ready to knock. “I’m sorry – ” they both started at the same time. Ellana laughed and grabbed him into a hug. 

“I have an idea that you may like, actually.” Cullen whispered into her neck between kisses. 

That afternoon, Ellana, Morrigan, Cullen and Alistair were riding alongside the Frostback Mountains on their way to the Arbor Wilds. The journey had been rather peaceful – at least, in terms of the lack of foes waiting for them on the trail. If internal conflict was to be taken into consideration… it had been a very tense trip. Morrigan and Alistair hadn’t actually spoken to each other and yet a constant flow of insults were thrown through a buffer of either Cullen or Ellana.

Alistair had asked Ellana if they were expecting any difficulty at the Well of Sorrows. 

To which Morrigan replied, “Commander, do tell your simpleminded friend that he has his entire life to be an idiot; why not take today off?”

Leaving Alistair to respond, “Inquisitor, inform our unwanted companion that of course I’m talking like an idiot… how else could she understand me?”

The two of them had been going after one another constantly; it was amusing – at first –now, Ellana and Cullen found it to be somewhat exhausting.

“Enough, you two.” Ellana yawned, “If you’re to keep insulting one another, can you at least leave the Commander and I out of it?”

Cullen rode his horse close to Ellana’s and grabbed the reins to slow both of their mounts down to a pace which trailed behind Morrigan and Alistair. He grinned at Ellana and was appreciative to finally have a few moments alone with her. “It’s nice being out here with you.” 

Ellana warmly smiled and nodded. She was enjoying having the Commander on the road with her; it was so rare that she could see him in action and out of Skyhold. Ellana had become significantly more confident in dealing with Red Templars over the last few months, and she greatly admired the fighting skills of her various companions, yet she had to admit that she felt a degree of comfort and protection with the Commander like no other. Also, he looked good like this: riding confidently along her side with the winds ruffling his fur mane and blowing his usually perfect hair around in a tousle. Ellana blushed as he caught her staring at him; she felt as though she were riding into battle with a fearless lion at her side. A part of her wished that Alistair and Morrigan were not here… it would certainly make their evening camps more enjoyable. 

Cullen appeared to pick up from Ellana’s face what she had been thinking and smirked at her, “Maybe we’ll find some time alone on this trip.” He watched her lips curl into a smile before she reached out to grab his hand, pulling her horse to a slow gallop directly beside him. He lightly brushed his thumb over her knuckles. 

Morrigan made a loud gagging noise, “Do you see the foolish lovebirds we’ve been stuck with back there?” she turned towards Alistair.

“Ha!” Ellana called out, “Good, you’ve finally spoken. Glad that’s over with.”

Morrigan and Alistair rolled their eyes at each other, which brought a light round of laughter from Ellana and Cullen. The journey was much less tense for the rest of the day, as Morrigan and Alistair had begun speaking to each other in a relatively respectful manner.

Later that evening, Ellana sat around the campfire with Cullen and Morrigan while Alistair paced the site, doing a final check for combatants on the horizon. The conversation eventually led to the various journeys each of them had experienced over their lifetime and the difficult choices they had made. 

“Some of us are prepared to do more than others.” Morrigan scornfully threw towards Alistair. 

“Yes well, excuse me for not wanting to get involved in blood magic.” He directed back towards her.

“Morrigan, was it truly blood magic?” Ellana was curious.

“Who are we to say? It was a means to an end; a way to stop the Archdemon that would have kept us all alive.”

“I’ll take that as a yes – it was blood magic.” Cullen scoffed. He was very much of the same opinion with Alistair on this; he detested blood magic and did not see it as a viable option, regardless of the circumstances.

“Whatever it was,” Morrigan sneered at him, “It was something that should have been done.” She turned towards Ellana, “And might I suggest that you prepare yourself to do whatever is necessary to defeat Corypheus – including the use of blood magic.”

Cullen tensed, “That won’t be necessary. We will not be taking any chances on the Inquisitor turning into an abomination.”

Morrigan laughed, “Truly? If the alternative is for her to die, you won’t even take the chance? You’ll let Corypheus succeed and destroy all of Thedas? Tell me – are all Ferelden men this foolish, or have I just had the unfortunate luck of meeting the two of you?” she glared at Cullen and Alistair. 

“We’ll find another way; it will not come to that.” Cullen glared back at Morrigan.

She continued her laughter, “Do you not think that I, too, would have preferred another option? Do you think I enjoy the possibility of turning into a demon? If it is something that must be done, then she will be required to do it! You keeping your previous little Dalish Elf blood magic-free falls second to saving the world, Commander.”

Cullen felt his face flush from the anger building within him. “My apologies that you didn’t have someone who cared strongly enough to find another solution for you, Morrigan.” 

“Let’s stop this, shall we?” Ellana laid a hand on Cullen’s arm, asking him to back down and leave Morrigan alone. She completely agreed with him, but continuing this conversation would only lead to trouble and while they were stuck out here with just the four of them, it was best to try and keep the peace as much as possible. 

Morrigan sneered and got up to retreat to her tent. 

“Told you – shouldn’t have brought her.” Alistair mumbled. 

Ellana sighed and rested her head on Cullen’s shoulder. “I’m going to turn in as well. Are you staying up for a while?”

“Yes,” Cullen mumbled while wrapping his arm around her shoulders and lightly stroking his arm with his thumb. “I just don’t want her to get it in her head that you’ll be doing blood magic. I can’t… I couldn’t watch you take that chance…” he whispered.

“Don’t worry,” Ellana lifted her head and lightly kissed him on his jaw, “I have no plans on doing that.” After a few moments, she lifted herself up and retreated into her tent. 

Cullen remained at the fire, along with Alistair, quietly contemplating the events of the evening and wondering if he had been too harsh on Morrigan. He didn’t want to argue with her, and he didn’t really have anything against her, he just worried that Morrigan would try and influence Ellana into doing something that was risky and unsafe. 

“I hope your story ends up differently than mine did…” Alistair whispered from across the fire. 

Cullen raised his eyes to Ellana’s tent across the campsite and found himself panic struck, fearing what lay ahead for her in this journey. What scarifies would this cruel world require her to make? What obstacles would be thrown at them for which he may not be able to save her? In that moment, Cullen decided that he would no longer waste any of the precious time he shared with Ellana. Whatever happened, he would find a way to save her from it; or he would die trying. For now, he wanted to hold her and to tell himself that he could protect her.

Cullen stood up and walked over to Ellana’s tent on the far side of the camp. He lifted the opening flap and found her asleep, mixed in between various furs and leathers. Cullen took a deep breath; she looked like an angel sent down from Andraste herself – meant just for him. The moonlight beamed in from the opened tent and she began to stir awake, motioning for Cullen to join her.

Cullen lowered himself down to rest beside Ellana and lifted his hand to caress her cheek before leaning in to kiss her. The kiss removed any trace of fear from Cullen’s mind; how could something this special ever be taken away from him? The kiss deepened and Cullen slid his hand down the side of her body until reaching her hip. He shuffled himself on top of her as she wrapped her arms around his neck and looked up at him with such pure tenderness and warmth, he could barely breathe. 

“I don’t care what horrors await us – this I promise you, I will save you.” He whispered. 

Ellana had never felt such levels of affection or intimacy in her entire life. “Cullen…” she purred into his ear as he tightened his grip around her waist. 

That evening, they made love. 

It was far from how either one of them had imagined it would be: certainly not on the outskirts of camp with Alistair and Morrigan, on the way to a fallen Elven God’s shrine – and yet, it was perfect. It was tender, full of passion and utterly breathtaking. 

When it was over, Ellana didn’t want to let go and kept her arms tightly wrapped around his upper torso, willing him to remain on top of her for a few more moments. She buried her face into his neck and closed her eyes as she took in his scent. How had she become this blessed? Creators, she would do anything to hold onto this feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of sounds like I’m setting them up for something horrible, huh? -_- 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
